"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

JVL

if i look back, i am lost
Sade Olutola
🪼
Stranger Things
DEAR READER
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Acquired Stardust


@theartofmadeline

oozey mess
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Not today Justin

blake kathryn

titsay
taylor price
Claire Keane

seen from Israel
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seen from T1

seen from Malaysia
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seen from France
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@icarusofmine

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Z from the 1998 animated film Antz.
btw it's so fucking stupid you can be anxious physically in your body even after you've decided mentally you don't care. I'm supposed to be in charge here
Mental health recovery is such a trip.
I keep worrying at my therapist that I might be manic or something, that something else is wrong with me because I've been free from suicidal ideation for so long and I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop because it feels wrong to feel this "up."
And she yet again very patiently walks me through what mania is, what the symptoms are, and then helps me catalog what I'm actually feeling.
Which as it turns out, is just the absence of the crushing depression I've been dealing with since I was a child. Which lead to the world rocking revelation that what I keep describing as "up" is like... normal baseline.
Is this what those mother fuckers are experiencing on a daily basis when they're lecturing people with depression about needing to 'just get up and do thing and you'll feel better'? Oh my God.
I'm going to add to this because I know someone will ask how I'm doing this without medication, and technically, I am not.
A lot of drugs used to control MCAS, such as antihistamines and other types of mast cell stabilizers (like Xanax, which doctors are REALLY not happy about prescribing because they think we're all trying to be high instead of just trying not to claw our skin off), also double as treatment for depression, anxiety, OCD and many other types of mental health disorders, all of which mast cells are actually implicated in playing a role in.
So while I'm technically not currently on medications typically prescribed for mental health issues, my MCAS meds are undoubtedly a factor in my mental health improving, along with the copious amounts of trauma recovery and different types of therapy I've been doing to get better.
I'm actually trying to get on a long term prescription for an antihistamine which is currently prescribed primarily as an anti-anxiety medication, not for my anxiety, but because it helps with itching. The more you know!
Pre-menstrual depression is always depicted as like "He He! I had a box of icecream bars and cried while watching the Titanic!" But in reality, it's more like, "I'm standing the edge of an abyss. There is nothing good inside of me, I'm filled with rage and desperation."
It's crazy that being told how to deal with that is never a part of anyone's menstrual sex education.
This has already been said in the notes, but if PMS causes extreme depression and even suicidal ideation, that is in fact something that most people do not experience and it can be treated
Like for the majority it really is "oh i'm hungrier and moodier than usual"
^this should be a part of sex education so the point still stands
I went to my doctor after I was walking to work one morning and saw a bus coming and actually took a step to throw myself in front of it before I pulled myself together. Later that day I started bleeding and was literally like someone flipped a switch and I didn't feel suicidal anymore. Which made me feel like I was loosing my mind because who goes from 'I want to throw myself in front of a bus' to 'I'm perfectly fine' just like that? I did some research, I went to the doctor and described my feelings, he looked me in the eye and gently asked what I thought it was, I said I'd read about PMDD and I thought it might be that, he said 'I think so too' and wrote a prescription.
If, before you get your period, you feel furiously angry, suicidal, irritated by every tiny thing to the point you want to murder someone, stuck in a black hole you'll never escape from. If you are experiencing extreme emotions for what seems like no good reason, especially if you get your period and those extreme emotions just go away. You're probably not just PMSing , you may have PMS's feral big sister PMDD and it's treatable.
Also this is something that can develop as you get older. So if you used to get normal PMS but what I wrote above sounds more like your norm now then don't just write it off as regular PMS.

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Female Dwarves - With or without beards?
With beards
Without beard
Child Dwarves - With or without beards?
With beards
Without beards
Baby Dwarves - With or without beards?
With beards
Without beards
They shed their baby beards to make room for their adult beards. Like with baby teeth.
One of the most annoying genres of people on the internet are people who act like they believe science is one single monolithic thing. Like, you'll see an article saying something like "scientists studying the movement of tectonic plates", and then in the comments there'll be several smug people saying "smh why are scientists doing this instead of finding a cure for cancer", like. Why would a geologist be doing that.
open tumblr, see something that pisses me off, write a snarky post, delete it, write a slightly more earnest post, edit it for 5 minutes, delete it, close tumblr

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'no one radically changes their personality worldview and politics just because of a brain injury' okay well i can see how it would be comforting to think that but unfortunately thats simply not true. that type of shit happens all the time
@clarencechampagne people claim otherwise because it's nice to imagine there's an inviolable inner sanctum of what you truly believe and who you truly are, and the notion that the core of your self can be changed not even from inside but by a bump on the head shakes people who emotionally rely on the notion of mental states being essential and transcendant, even when they're nominally a materialist. we like to think mind is safe from matter.
also coming from the political perspective people get very uncomfortable (understandably so) around the notion of people whose politics and conduct are cruel and harmful being that way because of a brain injury, stroke, illness, etc. some harm to them that they did not will. it breaks the notion of worldview and politics being powered by will and agency, which a lot of people, again, rely on for their moral political frameworks, even when they say they're materialist marxists.
To this view, If someone has harmful politics it means that they're a bad person. And if someone is a bad person, then they will that under their own agency. They chose to be a bad person and they could choose otherwise. The moral causation, under this view, arises solely from within the mind, rather than anything material. The notion that someone could become a harmful presence due to material situations outside of their control is deeply threatening to this sense of self, which is often taken for granted as common sense. The notion that we have ultimate and final control over ourselves, and the notion that we can keep our inner selves safe from the world by enforcing a determination on our own worldview, like, committing ideologically to a stance as protection from the world, is something that a lot of people, especially leftists, rely on, and the notion that you could get very badly hurt and come out of that with a brain that engages in harmful politics, engages in a harmful worldview, due to an injury, due to a disability, is morally threatening to a lot of people.
And I think that's understandable, but I don't think it's correct. I think there's a lot of compassion that's called for, regarding people who push back against the notion that, essentially, an injury, a disability, could make you what they see as a bad person. It's understandable why that would deeply freak you out and it's understandable why you wouldn't want to hear it. But I think the issue here is a deeper one of how people conceptualize ontology and ethics and morality and politics in general.
A lot of people see politics as about material, but they don't really fully grapple with the sense in which one's personal politics appear to arise from within the mind based on agency, but in fact are conditioned by material circumstances one experiences.
I don’t think people realize what keeping the internet running and producing most tech they use entails like. Physically, labor-wise, energy-wise.
Purposefully included some older articles here so people can see how baked in this is:
Labor Conditions of Content Moderators (2021)
Inside AOL's "Cyber-Sweatshop" (1999)
Digital Labor and Imperialism (2016)
Amazon Mechanical Turk: The Digital Sweatshop (2012)
Gig Economy, Algorithmic Control, and Migrant Labor (2022)
The Rise of Cyber-Coolies (2003)
Ecological Impact of Computation and the Cloud (2022)
The Environmental Sustainability of Digital Content Consumption (2024)
Carbon Footprint of the Internet (2010)
I think a lot of times I see people talk about this stuff in relation to AI. It's right to talk about it, but I hate when people act like AI is the only tech that has these problems. What you see with AI now is a reflection of the broader tech and internet industry that has grown for the past 20-30 years.
Listen, you can take away anything you want from this but just as a suggestion given a lot of responses I’ve seen here.
Conclusions from this which are not very productive: the Internet overall is bad and we should destroy it.
Conclusions that are perhaps more productive: Currently the Internet, which many lives depend on, takes up a lot of resources, has a climate impact, and runs on exploited labor. We need to find out how we can avoid this (it’s certainly possible), and work together to achieve this.
i dont consider myself a 'fashion guru' by any means but one thing i will say is guys you dont need to know the specific brand an item you like is - you need to know what the item is called. very rarely does a brand matter, but knowing that pair of pants is called 'cargo' vs 'boot cut' or the names of dress styles is going to help you find clothes you like WAAAYYYY faster than brand shopping
this also goes for aesthetic or -core titles. 'y2k tank top' is going to get you resellers and fast fashion brands advertising to people looking to meet a current trend. 'thin strap crop tank top' is going to get you a diverse group of results and not upcharge you to hell and back
additionally, shop second hand when you can, second hand and thrift sites typically organize clothes by the cut and color. theyll be more affordable than a depop seller curating you a style to sell you
useful terminology for different kinds of clothing shapes :)
here are more terms! these are all from enérie. it is a really good blog that has lots of fashion terminology and it's a good mix of menswear and womenswear! they also have a book as well compiling all their diagrams. you could also look into getting a visual fashion dictionary for terms as well!

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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you don’t realize how important lunch is until you’re wandering around thinking about how unloveable and untalented and uniquely cursed you are and then it’s 4pm and you finally eat lunch and you go Oh. oh right.
t shirt that says I MISS EVERYONE I WAS EVER FLEETINGLY CLOSE TO SO MUCH THAT IT KILLS