Fuck John Hammond

Show daddy that nice picture again

life is better when you're not malnourished btw

*takes a bite of my cigarette*...... heh. the character...... *walks into a small puddle but it swallows me up like the ocean* *i am found dead years later in maine*

*hitting my brain with a rolled up newspaper* I am allowed to be annoying! I am allowed to be wrong! I am allowed to take up space! Not! Everyone! Has! To! Like! Me!

People die on the job every summer. Remember that water and shade breaks are crucial when working in the heat, and calling emergency services for signs of serious heat illness (fatigue, nausea/vomiting, headaches, dizziness, clammy skin, confusion, agitation, slurred speech, high body temperature, rapid heart rate, etc.) is entirely appropriate. If you’re afraid to call 911 for reasons such as being undocumented, you’ll need to get very familiar with how to prevent, recognize, and treat heat illness. If you are symptomatic and not allowed a break, water, or medical treatment, walk out. No matter how broke you are, your job is not worth your life.

Official please put yourself first sign

i would trust weird al with my drink at a party. granted he may put one of those capsules that expands into a sponge animal in it,

i appreciate the amount of people reblogging this despite me not really tagging this at all. im glad many of people feel the same anger i do.

tony soprano. i didnt say his name but he popped into your head didnt he

well maybe you should blearily wake up at 5:08 in the pre-dawn light and find the sleeping soft tiny mammal body of your cat just inches from your head like a miracle too beautiful for speech, and you should rustle one hand out from your blankets to rub fingertip circles across the warm eggshell dome of her little velvet-wrapped skull and on the bristly patches just where the cups of her ears begin, and as she inclines her head into your fingers and purrs without ever opening her little eyes you should feel a love so tender that you understand how that love could have reached out from the fireside into the inky spangled nights long gone to reach her, and then you'll feel better

had a dream where i invented a new currency and i had to market it to every country for adoption with a short slogan. i went for "inspired by the penny" with indonesia and it instantly failed a public vote.

faeries are not real but i wish thwy were so i could spray one with raid

harry houdini to his wife after a long exhausting dinner with arthur conan doyle