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@hypomanicpanic

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my partner said something that kinda rocked my world
𝑚𝑎𝑦 𝑓𝑙𝑜𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑠 𝑔𝑟𝑜𝑤 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑎𝑑𝑑𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢
You don't have to force yourself to bounce back so quickly. I read something recently that said "when you come in from a rainstorm, you don't expect yourself to be dry and warm right away", and it really resonated with me. It's okay to take time to dry off and warm up. Take the time you need to process what happened to you.

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It turns out that you can become the person you’ve always envisioned but you’ll still have the person you were before inside of you and you have to treat them with as much forgiveness and love as possible
out of nowhere during the night, during one of those weird in and out of sleep times where Thoughts hit you, i had this realisation about how much ocd affects my writing by needing things that i fixate on/obsessively check in real life to be so literal in my stories. i was reading something yesterday and saw 'x nods and stands aside to let y through, closing the door behind them before following him into the kitchen' and i think that's why it hit me because even then i was like... why does the door specifically need to be shut before we move on? does it really have to take up that space?
but ohoho, in my brain yeah it does! because what do you mean i don't specifically call it out as being shut behind character? what if, shock!, it's left OPEN because i, in my made up fictional story, did not shut the made up fictional door? i know i've done the same thing with other specifics like turning electronics and lights off and SDKFJGFKDLSKD i can't help but laugh at myself because it's so fucking absurd. i've always been deeply uncomfortable without those specifics and i cannot move on until my mind is satisfied about them, the things i fixate on in real life, and now i realise why.
can't even have peace in fiction ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ what are we doing
“but it wasn’t that bad”
did it hurt? did you feel scared? unsafe? were you embarrassed? humiliated? terrified? did you feel confused on why? does it keep you up at night? do you avoid being in a similar situation? did you cry? did you want to cry? who told you it wasn’t that bad?
A lot of people are sympathetic to the concept of PTSD but not the reality of it.
They expect you to stare off into space or be sad, and they aren’t sympathetic to the angry moments, to strong reactions to triggers, to the paranoia and fear of abandonment, they aren’t sympathetic to the disorders that are often co-morbid like personality disorders, dissociative disorders, or psychotic disorder. There’s more to PTSD than just “being shy” or scared.

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I want to age like sea glass. Smoothed by tides, not broken. I want the currents of life to toss me around, shake me up and leave me feeling washed clean. I want my hard edges to soften as the years pass—made not weak but supple. I want to ride the waves, go with the flow, feel the impact of the surging tides rolling in and out.
When I am thrown against the shore and caught between the rocks and a hard place, I want to rest there until I can find the strength to do what is next. Not stuck—just waiting, pondering, feeling what it feels like to pause. And when I am ready, I will catch a wave and let it carry me along to the next place that I am supposed to be.
I want to be picked up on occasion by an unsuspected soul and carried along—just for the connection, just for the sake of appreciation and wonder. And with each encounter, new possibilities of collaboration are presented, and new ideas are born.
I want to age like sea glass so that when people see the old woman I’ll become, they’ll embrace all that I am. They’ll marvel at my exquisite nature, hold me gently in their hands and be awed by my well-earned patina. Neither flashy nor dull, just a perfect luster. And they’ll wonder, if just for a second, what it is exactly I am made of and how I got to this very here and now. And we’ll both feel lucky to be in that perfectly right place at that profoundly right time.
I want to age like sea glass. I want to enjoy the journey and let my preciousness be, not in spite of the impacts of life, but because of them.
~ Bernadette Noll
your friends do love you. your mental illness is just a meanie
i'm gonna beat your mental illness up with my fists
rahhh let me at em!!!!!! 🤜💥👊💥👊💥🤜💢🤛💥🤛💢💥🤜💥💫🤛💥🤜💥🤛💢💥🤜💥💫💥🤜💥💥🤛💢💥👊💥💫🤜💢🤛💥🤜💥💫🤛💥🤜💥🤛💢💥👊💥💫🤛💥
Art by Worry Lines
like constellations imploding in the night everything is turning, everything is turning, the shapes that you drew may change beneath a different light and everything you thought you knew will fall apart but you'll be alright -constellations, the oh hellos

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it would be really cool if more people knew that schizophrenia is more than just psychosis. such as how it is a cognitive disability. that would be neat.
what will it be, boss? the comfort of misery or the pain of change?