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隠された物語と禁断の秘密でいっぱいの脱出ブログ

-𝙚𝙨𝙘𝙖𝙥𝙚 𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙜 𝙛𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙙 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙪𝙣𝙩𝙤𝙡𝙙 𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙗𝙞𝙙𝙙𝙚𝙣 𝙨𝙚𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙩𝙨.

☠︎︎ᴀʟʟ ᴏʀɪɢɪɴᴀʟ ᴡᴏʀᴋs, ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴘᴏsᴛ/sᴛᴇᴀʟ.☦︎︎𓁹

𝖸𝗈𝗎 𝖽𝗋𝖾𝗐 𝗆𝖾𝗆𝗈𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗌 𝗂𝗇 𝗆𝗒 𝗆𝗂𝗇𝖽 𝖨 𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗅𝖽 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘀𝗲..

...𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗉𝖺𝗂𝗇𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝖼𝗈𝗅𝗈𝗎𝗋𝗌 𝗂𝗇 𝗆𝗒 𝗁𝖾𝖺𝗋𝗍 𝖨 𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗅𝖽 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗲.

༛ ༞ ༞ ༞ ༞ ༞ ༞ ༛

Crisp rays of daylight, peeking through my curtain

hit my face,

another day begins where I open my eyes and they dart toward my bedside space

where I expect to see your laying figure filled with grace,

you smiling at me and greeting me a merry morning..

but why is it that when my consciousness I fully regain

You’re gone, like a hallucination I can’t obtain?

I get up, reminding myself dream o clock is over

and teach my foolish heart vain restraint,

But the moment I walk past the flower shop to the station..

you stand there, with that angel face between the rose and lily space,

with a glimpse of divine beauty that from my heart I can never erase..

Tell me, my love, why do you appear again?

I rub my eyes, “a hangover dream” it must be I complain,

and I take the steps towards the cafe to start my day

But there you are, staring tenderly again

sitting by the corner table in my wait,

gesturing me to dash towards you, and when I do you kiss my hand so gently

I wonder my love…

is this how loving it would be had you been here, our Sunday morning eights?

a blithe dream or reality, for a second I can’t explain

So I exit the cafe and meet two lovers on my way

that’s when suddenly you’re here beside me-your fingers and mine interlaced

and in your secure grip by my shoulder, you have me encased.

but the moment I feel greed and turn to touch you

my love, why do you disappear again?

The whole day you show up,

You are everywhere I go…

The outlines of your figure so vivid, even with my eyes closed I could trace,

could it be, my love, that without you I’m going insane?

I come home at the end with memories full of you

and still see you once more..

You stay leaning against the wall then,

with your arms open for me to rush in

so without a second towards you I race

to bask myself in your healing embrace.

but when I open my eyes next with hesitance

My love, why do you fade away again and again?

Even if you live just in my head, fear not! for I’ll always keep waiting for you in this place,

Cause the possibility of you is still better than the reality of anyone else

For you are it for me- the only love I could never replace.

his breathing landing on my skin

His heart beat beating against my chest

His warmth lingering on my body

And his scent filling my lungs

when i look at the sky and utter your name,

tell me, do you look at it the same?

and hear my silent call?

when i love you in the silence of the night

and long for you in anguish

can you perceive how my heart is for you, famished?

tell me, do you feel it, even if it’s slight?

and look for me in the light and to me too, you write

why don’t you tell me, do you wish to save me in your arms before I fall?

when I call upon you like a prayer,

do you feel my unanswered despair

do you search for me even if of me you are unaware

Darkness darkness, you come again

Friend or foe, I can’t explain.

despair, dark, suffocation await

I can’t escape, cause running is vain.

Time and time, I feel this pain

standing infront of a mirror with loath and shame

I take this blade, and aim this vein

but in numb silence and loud chaos inside my brain,

frozen, I remain.

Let me go, I plead, for It drives me insane

to build my blocks to happiness

And then watch it violently be swept away by your sudden hurricane.

Somehow I’m back to square one again,

and this time to continue, no courage I can seem to gain.

The voices are loud, my mind is a turmoil,

my heart has hardened, and where I am I can’t seem to explain-

Locked in a dark well, where all in sight is ugly blood stain.

So in the end…

Darkness, darkness, you come again

Friend or foe, I can’t explain

I was on the pursuit to happiness..

So, why is self loathing all I regain?

𝗯𝗼𝗿𝗻 𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝗮 𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗴𝗶𝗰 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳,

𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗜 𝘀𝗲𝗲 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗱 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗳𝗮𝗿 𝘢𝘧𝘢𝘳, 𝘧𝘢𝘳 𝘢𝘧𝘢𝘳.. ༒

what is it like, to be unconditionally loved?

just for once to be on the receiving end..

To have a lover like a friend,

who loves you and cares for you, and doesn’t pretend

who wants to protect you and adorn you with affection every second,

and feels for you so intensely, through actions his admiration he’s able to comprehend?

What is it like, to be unconditionally loved?

to be basked in adoration with no fear of being unloved?

to have someone who finds you mindlessly beautiful..

And believes you make his life colourful

who touches you in tender caress,

for he knows you’re fragile and delicate to break

who loves you for not only your perfect facade,

but accepts your hollow cavities and falls, even for all your mess?

what is it like, to be unconditionally loved?

to be someone’s first, to be their beloved?

someone who kisses you with promise

and treasures you as if even, your flaws are flawless.

who buys you roses,

and someone who isn’t afraid, but lovingly proposes

cause to spend the rest of his life, with you, he obviously chooses.

What is it like to have someone who makes efforts for you, who thinks for you, who does for you

Who’d fight the whole world to keep you happy

cause he hates nothing more, than the sight of you unhappy.

Who makes you feel so safe..

that you don’t have to hide, or fear to be true

cause he’s gonna love you for all that you are, through and through.

So tell me..

What is like to be unconditionally loved?

to be welcomed home, and for ugly truths, not be shoved?

I dream..

to be loved, to be loved, to be loved

but what a foolish desire, perhaps I must be drugged,

cause

unloved, unloved, unloved

That’s the tragic reality, I am to, sorrowfully cuffed.

Tonight, I wrote your name next to mine

in heaven,

with the hopes that the angels, divine

will carry to you my love filled confession.

I pray the entire paradise becomes my intercession,

so you have no chance to decline

my seeming affection;

and finally, just finally

the stars are made to align in our direction.

If heaven really responds and conveys before you my loving declaration,

tell me dear beloved,

would you be kind enough to take this as a sign