The Human Dryer Sheet

@disastersdreamer

"hear me out" and it's a picture of the most fuckable building you've ever seen. c'mon now.

“hear me out” and it’s the fucking dildopolis

basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*

*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god

*thunderous slam dunk noise*

Happy Pride

I was built to be an anxious dog with a tongue that stick out the side and a very patient owner who makes me wear those little booties when it rains, but instead I have a mortgage. jesus christ

The communist party never really issued cards, when one refers to card carrying members of that party, they refer to Magic: The Gathering cards, a popular game among Lenin and his friends.

my camel straight up told me "man i am not carrying another fucking straw" like wtf asshole its just one straw whats your fucking issue

then what