"Hey, chickenwuss."

Hey kids here's a piece of actual for real experienced adult advice: don't make songs you like your alarm. Ever. You're gonna Pavlov yourself into hating it or sleep through it and have weird dreams. Don't do that to yourself. Seriously.

I'm glad the notes on this post have turned around from people going "I am the exception I love music I will never die" but some of you have made some truly unhinged choices about what to set your alarm. Why was it the Seinfeld theme in the first place.

I love the phrase "they get along like a house on fire". It's perfect. You and me have perfect chemistry and it's setting off the carbon monoxide detectors. People are calling emergency services to get us to stop being so chummy. Someone died

i didn't have "i'm broken" teenage asexual angst i had "i'm literally being the only reasonable one about this concept and the rest of you are behaving like fucking freaks" perception issues

Listening to fun cunty pop music in an attempt to feel better doesn't necessarily always work but if nothing else you can realize how fucking funny a situation you're in when you're sitting there with a thousand yard stare while your headphones are like H O T T O G O YOUU CAN TAKE ME HOT TO GO 💃 and once again absurdism wins

I'm sitting there looking like a visual representation of needing a cigarette & meanwhile chappell roan is DESPERATELY trying to hype me up. It's like being depressed at a chuck e cheese

You recently moved to the countryside. Your child was playing in the woods, and came back with a large green egg you thought was plastic, so you agreed they could keep it if no one claimed it. Your kid said it was a gift. You thought nothing of it. Then the egg hatched.

This is it. The perfect writing prompt response. We can all go home.

I love that the two genres of 'miku from my culture' posts are 'beautiful intricate traditional clothing' and 'what if miku was a regular at the gas station by my house'