Hi everyone! At last, today's the day for me to release Strange and Wonderful, my ASGZC exophilia fanfiction anthology, aka a lot of one shots about at least two of the characters, and in every story someone gets to be a monster of some kind. We have both PG-13 and NC17 collections, so you can have whatever floats your both in terms of spiciness! The fics are all written by me, but with amazing cover art of Gemsom and @nagoo!
So without any further ado, here is
The Link
Also reminder that the whole thing is completely free! No money required at all!
And also, in case you want to know more before downloading, here is my FAQ page on the project.
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I canât stop thinking about crocodiles for some reason so hereâs some cool pictures I found of probably the second largest one in captivity, his name is Utan:
isnât he beautiful
listen to the SOUND when he bites
and thatâs not even a real power bite, thatâs mostly just heavy bone falling on heavy bone from his jaws and the air rushing out from between them
That would be Cassius, a very old Saltwater crocodile who is estimated to be around 114 years old and lives at Marineland Melanesia in Green Island, Australia. Â His official measurement is 5.48 meters, which makes him the largest in captivity currently. Â Because Utan is only slightly smaller and much younger, (only in his 50s), he will likely break Cassiusâ record eventually. Â But for now, Cassius holds the title:
He is NOT, however, either the largest crocodile ever captured in Australia OR the largest ever in captivity.
A slightly larger crocodile has been reported (though not yet comfirmed) to have been captured at 5.58 meters.
And while the famous Brutus of the Adelaide River was estimated to be just slightly larger than Cassius at 5.5m, he was driven out of his territory by a younger and even larger crocodile, who as a result has been given the name, The Dominator. Â He is estimated to be just over 6m.
This is Brutus, with an appropriate caption:
It is believed that he lost that arm in a fight with a Bull Shark. Â
The Bull Shark lost.
THIS is the crocodile who kicked him out. Â The Dominator:
And thatâs STILL not the biggest. Â
The largest living crocodile ever reliably measured was Lolong, who for the 1.5 years between his capture and his death was the largest crocodile ever held in captivity, at a whopping 6.17 meters (20 feet 3 inches) and 1075 kg (2,370 lbs). Â He had been feeding on both humans and very large livestock in the Bunawan creek in Agusan del Sur in the Philippines. Â It took 100 people all night to drag him to shore during his capture.
And hereâs why:
Also, to prevent credit from getting buried on a separate reblog, I have been informed that the above image of the crocodile with the cartoon eyes and halo was made by @rashkah! Â (And it is wonderful and I would like to thank him for its existence, because it perfectly captures my feelings about terrifying giant primordial reptiles.)
As far as Brutus is concerned I was led to believe that he lost that arm when relatively young.
Since then Brutus developed a habit of hunting and eating Bull Sharks.
Hereâs him with a prey.
And if you thought that youâll be safe if you just stay out of Australia then think again!
Meet Gustave the Nile Croc.
This crocodile became almost legendary for both itâs size and the habit of hunting both livestock AND humans.
So how big is Gustave?
No one is sure. Since he was NEVER captured.
His estimated size is of at least 5,5m but some give him over 6m.
The terrifying parts are:
1) He is still growing having only about 60 years.
2) Adult crocodiles often perform a gesture of submission to him - something usually done by young crocodiles toward adults - Gustave is just THAT BIG.
3) His sheer size makes it difficult for him to catch agile prey Nile crocs tend to feed on - hence why he developed a habit of hunting either larger prey like Hippopotamus or creatures which are not good at spotting danger in the first place like livestock and humans.
And this is NOT ALL.
Gustave actually has a noticeable scars on his body - he was shot at east 3 times and stabbed with a spear or something similar at one occasion.
He lived to tell the tale - my question is:
What happened to that one dude who attacked Gustave with a spear?
*Crocodile Dundee voice* Â Mate, thatâs not Gustave:
THIS is Gustave:
And he is the PERFECT CROCODILE. Â He is the perfect example of what I mean when I talk about (as I do) how the morphology of extremely large crocodiles adapts to the changing physics of their bite.
This is a typical adult Nile Crocodile:
And THIS is a god among his kind:
This is it, folks. Â The Final Form. Â THIS is what peak performance looks like.
Crocodiles and physics have an interesting relationship. Â Crocodiles have, by a CONSIDERABLE MARGIN, the strongest bite of any animal on Earth. Â EVER. Â Scaled up estimates (based on Nile and Saltwater crocodiles) give the extinct Deinosuchus an estimated bite force MORE THAN DOUBLE the recently updated Tyrannosaurus bite estimates. Â Living crocodiles have bite forces measured in the range of 5000 pounds per square inch, for an individual around 15-16 feet. Â It is estimated that modern crocodiles in the range of 18-20 feet would have bit forces around 7-8000 psi or more.
Thatâs a problem.
Because a crocodileâs skull is only designed to handle so much pressure. Â Go beyond that limit and the force of impact when those jaws snap shut could literally shatter their own skulls.
But evolution has spent hundreds of millions of years perfecting crocodiles, so PHYSICS ISNâT GOING TO STOP THEM. Â What ends up happening in the skulls of these extremely large crocodiles is they will increase dramatically in mass to compensate for the increased forces. Â A crocodileâs skull is almost exclusively solid bone, with only minimal space for nasal passages, a surprisingly advanced brain, and some slightly porous looking framework that helps the bone distribute the force over a larger area. Â The effect is by far the most pronounced in Nile crocodiles, which most regularly feed on larger prey and need to make use of all that power.
Compare, 26 inch skull:
vs 29 inch skull:
Both of those are Nile crocodile skulls (or rather, replicas thereof).
And just for fun, here are the skulls of completely different (and very extinct species), Deinosuchus:
and Purussaurus:
The bigger the crocodile (within a given species), the more massive the skull needs to be to compensate for that UNBELIEVABLE bit pressure. Â This is one way to see from a distance whether you are looking at a normal sized crocodile:
and a truly extraordinary individual:
One of the things about Gustave thatâs so impressive is how healthy his teeth look. Â A lot of large crocodiles, in their old age, have very worn down and often missing teeth. Â They do replace them many times over a lifetime, but when they get very old this slows down. Â Gustave, at least in every picture taken of him, had teeth that were in very good condition.
Even crocodiles much smaller than Gustaveâs reported size (probably similar in size to Dominator or Lolong) tend to have smaller or more worn teeth:
Lolong! It means Gramps or Grandpa, because heâs a relic of an ancient world where crocs more massive than he was walked the earth. His body is on display somewhere right now though I forgot where.
Lolongâs body is at the National Museum of the Philippines! They taxidermied his hide and they suspended his skeleton so you can see just how massive his skull is!
If the people in a relationship say it's platonic, then it's platonic, regardless of your preconceived notions about commitment, cohabitation, gender, sex or other physical intimacy, and anything else you associate with a strict position on a romantic/platonic binary. Likewise, if the people in a relationship say it's romantic, then it's romantic, again regardless of your preconceived notions about commitment, cohabitation, gender, sex or other physical intimacy, and anything else you associate with a strict position on a romantic/platonic binary. Friends can have sex and/or live together, and romantic partners don't need to. People can also do either of those things or neither without placing themselves in a platonic-romantic binary.
Platonic and romantic relationships (as well as, frankly, sex itself, if you take a look at the way sex has been typically defined in such a cisheteronormative way) are way too socially constructed for your stereotypes to overrule the actual intent and self-understanding of the people those relationships most matter to.
so many misguided metaphors around violence and desire. if the open maw of a panting beast fills you with the want to be devoured, that does not make you prey. while the rabbit trembles in fear, its deepest desire is to run. evolution demands it. in fact, the desire to be eaten does not make you any small animal at all.
Is anyone else constantly bothered by the fact that all of a child's medical care is required to go through their parents? That they must rely on these people to decide when they do or don't need medical care?
No matter how injured. If a parent doesn't deem it necessary to see a doctor, it doesn't happen. Teachers can suggest a doctor visit, but unless it's a very acute injury (and even then), it's ultimately up to the parents.
You can be 13. Twisted, maybe broken ankle. You teacher lets you sit out in PE. She's concerned, and tells you to rest when you go home, and see a doctor. You get home, ur parents fill a bath and add some Epsom salts, and then laugh at you for using it moms old colorguard stick as a cane. Take some ibuprofen they say. It's just a little sprain, ur a kid.
You go to school the next day, go to ur office assistant time. Office calls ur mom to come get you, because you're clearly in too much pain for school. Your mom laughs when she gets you, says you just were so determined not to miss school. Scolds you for making the office ladies worry.
You never see a doctor for the injury.
Your parents come into the exam room at every visit. This does not stop with age, except for gynecologist. But your parents are on the medical release forms. They fill them out for you, with you. You do not get to take them off.
You never get to tell s doctor about the ankle. Even though it never quote healed right, and it hurts every day.
Then your 18. In college. Still on your parents insurance, and have no car. The on campus clinic only does std testing. You fall down some stairs. Same injury. You call your parents, crying from the pain. You are using a mop as a cane. They console you and say to have a bath, take some meds, and let them know how it feels in a few days. You end up borrowing your roommates rolling chair to get around for the weekend.
By Monday, you can walk again. You walk miles to class every day. You ask to see a doctor, but your parents won't drive the hour to come take you, and you don't have the insurance card. You are still at their mercy for medical care. The ankle tries to heal again. This time worse than before. The tendons click with every step.
Now you're in your twenties. Finally have your own healthcare. You see a doctor. You get to mention the ankle! They say it's been too long to really even know what was damaged. That you have arthritis now. It healed wrong but it can no longer be fixed.
I'm 32 now. My ankle tells me the weather. I wear boots to keep it stable. What could have been a funny story about a fall and a cast has become a lifetime injury. Because children do not have access to medical care without a parents approval.
Changing your name as an adult is the coolest thing you can do because it unlocks a wide variety of exciting new names that if your parents had chosen them for you, it would've been considered child abuse, but since you're an adult and it's your decision, you can go hog wild.
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âmarriage is a legal document that protects you, youâve gotta decouple it in your brain from romance and amatonormativityâ the fact that marriage is a legal document that protects and privileges you (that, might I add, generally isnât valid without romance+sex) is LITERALLY amatonormativity. A legal status that privileges people in monogamous long-term romantic-sexual relationships IS AMATONORMATIVITY. That is *what it was coined to talk about.*
He glanced around the room, but it was the same as it had been when Simon looked two minutes ago.
Ryland had fallen asleep, slumped against his desk, arm down by his side, fingertips brushing the floor.
Simon was⌠trying to come to terms with everything.
Simon didnât know what to believe. Ryland said that mass couldnât disappear, but heâd never stared in the eye of the Light and the Blood Eel. He didnât know about the Light. No one did. Simon couldnât shake the feeling that he was supposed to die with that knowledge. Simon didnât understand it even, and the more time he spent in this odd space station, the further it seemed. Was any of that real? Had it all been one big hallucination caused by his body breaking down under the agroglobin? Was this all a hallucination? It didnât feel real. Sitting here in the dark, the universe spinning, spinning, spinning outside his window. The red was fading as they were pulled through Threeworldâs orbit, but Simonâs unease didnât lessen.
They were still too close to it. The star-eaters. They needed to flee, not study it. Why didnât anyone else see that? Some things werenât meant to be discovered. Some things werenât meant to be found.
Eyes up, Convict.
Simon gasped. Ava. Her voice rang through his mind as clear as day, as if she were right there in front of him, giving him his prison sentence. Her milky eye staring at him in judgment. His head snapped up, as if by some involuntary force, and locked onto Ryland, still slumped at his desk. It was dark, but Ryland was there, glowing a faint, hazy red. Immediately, something settled in him at seeing the man who saved his life. Ryland was here. Ava was not.
It's a trap.
âNo, itâs not,â Simon muttered, voice nearly whispering in the quiet darkness. It echoed the same thing as it had days ago, stubbornly insisting Simon was not safe here. He wanted so badly for this clean, kind station to be safe.
âSimon?â Adrian trilled. Simon couldnât bring himself to respond.
The voices seemed to think Ryland was setting a trap for him, but he couldnât be. He couldnât. Ryland wanted him to live. He liked having Simon around. He said that, out loud, to Simonâs face. Ryland needed Simon to live. He was useful. He had information. Information⌠that Simon wasnât sharing right now, but he would. He wouldnât stay quiet forever. He just needed to think. Â
You should consider yourself lucky. Avaâs voice echoed. Well, you are lucky.
Guilt sank into Simonâs spine. His left shoulder itched under the wraps. He was still alive while Ava was dead at the bottom of the ocean, melded with the Blood Eel or digesting in its stomach. He got to live while she went down to get him and didnât come back up.
It's still there.
âItâs not still there,â Simon hissed. There was no danger here. No blood ocean. The agroglobin was dead. âItâs dead, alright? Itâs dead. So just shut up and be dead, already.â
Look at me.
Ryland shifted, letting out a low moan in the dark, and Simonâs eyes snapped back to him. The scientistâs back shuddered, and Simonâs heart hammered in his chest as he watched a cough wrack up to his shoulders. He was slumped over, shivering, and then something red and thick spilled out of Ryland's mouth with a pained noise, splattering onto the floor.
Simonâs heart dropped to his toes. He was up in an instant, eyes wide with horror as his gaze locked onto the pool of glowing red at Rylandâs feet. This couldnât be happening. The blood couldnât have gotten Ryland. The scientist said it was IR light, but agroglobin ran hot, so Ryland could be vomiting blood. Just like the researchers, just like he had in the SM-13. What else could it possibly be? Simonâs chest shook with the beginnings of a terrified noise, stifled, as he slowly took a step forward. He wobbled with each step, trying to keep his balance, but he had to wake Ryland up, get the UV light, do something.
It's right behind you.
Simon flinched, his head turned back behind him despite himself. He only saw the spinning red of the planet they were orbiting. The planet infected with astrophage. Was it astrophage that Ryland was infected with? Eating something nearly as bright as the stars?
Itâs watching you.
He turned back to Ryland when he heard the telling sounds of him vomiting again, the splash of the liquid on the floor. The scientist let out a low moan of pain, not moving from where he was leaning against the desk. Chills pebbled over Simonâs skin as he took another step. He almost didnât want to see. Didnât want to approach, but he had to. Ryland saved his life, and now he was suffering for it.
You are the only one who can! Ava's voice started to shout, startling him in the eerie quiet. Simon flinched as Avaâs voice was overlaid with the whispering voice that had been taunting him for hours. They don't know the danger of this place. This isnât helping. We have to warn them-! I donât think thatâs possible. We can't die down here!
âShut up,â Simon growled to them, but they did not listen, incessant, insisting that he -survive, no matter what, do you understand me?! You can still redeem yourself.
âRyland?â Simon croaked, voice hoarse as he gripped the table and staggered forward. He distantly heard some musical notes, another grating voice, but what was another voice? Add it to the cacophony in his mind.
None can be allowed to see the light again! The voice roared, overlapped with Avaâs shout, You have to go now! What are you waiting for?!
âRyland!â Simon nearly pleaded as he pulled himself closer.
Simonâs hand closed around Rylandâs shoulder, and the man jolted under his touch.
Simon, please! Simon, please listen to me!
Ryland turned, and in the darkness, his eyes were hollow and gaunt, sunken in. Dark and gaping but red, red, red at the pupil. Blood leaked from his mouth in rivets of red. Simon flinched back, hand retreating as horror doused him.
This madness ends with you. It saw you, Simon. It will never let you go!
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The last three babies spooked for some reason, and instead of rounding the corner to go back to their den, they went into our paint room, which was open. Alas, they were very very disinterested in leaving.