"defend your thesis" why are you attacking my thesis

hell hath no fury like a tummy hurted

if you were a mouse and you wanted to change the subject you could say “squeaking of which….”

1 table spoon vanilla abstract

if y’all want to date anyone 5’4 an under i’m going to need you to recognize that there is effort involved. they need their outside time but you have to be willing to stand around with them too bc you never know what birds of prey are in the area and it is your responsibility as their partner to make sure they don’t get scooped up. like. that is the bare minimum. c’mon

when john darnielle said "the compasses i came into this world with never really worked so good" and "i am healthy, i am whole - but i have poor impulse control" and "i am just a broken machine and i do things that i don't really mean" and "long live the machines who never learned to work quite right"

it’s dangerous to go alone! take this. *kisses you straight on the lips*

I Broke Free On A Saturday Morning,

*turns my wizard hat backwards* *it looks exactly the same but im considerably more smug now*

shakespeare wasn't lying that tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow can creep in this petty pace from day to day

(suffering the clear and obvious ramifications of my voluntary actions) once again god torments me for no purpose but sick amusement