orchidarium

If your mental health suffers a lot please get it checked out!

"Most grandmothers are" FUCKING SAVAGE

i’m gonna cry it’s raining right now and i just passed by a family where both parents were without an umbrella but their kid who couldn’t have been older than like 3-4 was proudly holding this GIANT umbrella whose diameter was as tall (if not taller) as the kid. both the parents were getting absolutely drenched but u could tell the kid was just so happy to have an “adult” task and carry the umbrella themselves and i think that sacrifice is what love is all about

i think "many queer people are purposefully deprived of regular IRL social interaction with other people, both queer and not, by our society" and "lots of queer discourse on the internet would be rendered irrelevant if the people engaging in it were regularly interacting with other queer people in real life rather than online" are two statements that can and shouls coexist

Genuinely just a good man. Wife adopts teenage witch that needs a place to stay in the city? Sure. Even though you got a kid on the way? That’s fine. Cat too? Love cats. 

the most underrated thing about the ghibli movies is how deeply they are love stories to working people, to the small folk, to moments of love and kindness. its not just about magic, many movies are about magic and fairytales. Its not only about the people in the stories, but about stories in the people. And they are just loveable.

sherlock holmes deduces you are trans before you've figured it out yourself and refers to you with those pronouns and then when you look confused is like "ah...had you not arrived at that conclusion yet?" and wafts away in his dressing gown to smoke seventeen pipes, leaving you in a gender crisis

Hercule Poirot deduces you are trans by accident because he suspected you of murder and broke into your house and searched your stuff then puts 2 and 2 together when Hastings makes an innocuous observation about your fashion sense or something and he jumps up and cries “mon dieu!!!” before striding over to you kissing you on both cheeks and saying “ah, cher ami, you must live as you choose!” and then running off to confront the real culprit while you stand there in befuddlement

Columbo deduces you're trans from context clues while he's talking to you about the area, immediately uses your preferred pronouns and starts telling you about his cousin, who's also transgender, and how they got this job doing security, and how they told him that a security guard always locks up, and asks you if the guard locked up last night, and isn't it weird the place was open? And you're like, well, someone else must have opened it up. Maybe the guy in charge? He has a spare key. And then he nods and goes "the guy in charge has a spare key... well, how about that?" And then he offers you a cigar and wanders off, and a day later your boss gets arrested for murder.

Fanon Batman deduces you are trans and suddenly a free hormone clinic opens up by your home a couple months later

Miss Fisher learns youre trans and simply gives you hormones, and a little cocaine as a treat. she also invites you out to a club to meet like minded individuals. at the club you watch as she seduces the bartender and then the next day the bartender is arrested for the murder.

Harrowing: someone in your Fandom just made an innocuous and harmless post that nonetheless betrays a deep misunderstanding of the character and the character's narrative purpose and you just have to sit there and let them be wrong lest you be an asshole

hate it when you experience something of better quality and then you’re doomed to no longer be satisfied

in my family we call this “getting the good bologna” because after my grandma got fancy bologna on sale she couldn’t go back

the thing about vampire fangs is if they have them out all the time thats a serve bc its about the concealment yknow youre managing how youre percieved and thats a good queer allegory and the like, if they can hide their fangs and only show them when theyre drinking a la iwtv then thats erection imagery and makes it all implicitly erotic. if they dont have fangs they were written by a mormon.

stephanie meyer why the fuck would you do that genuinely