god it's all so true

can you put that thing on a leash?

This is the diametric opposite of "we popping the biggest bottles when Makorra happens"

listen, okay, i get what you’re saying but the hunger games are REALLY important for the country’s economy. they generate more revenue in just a few weeks than all of the districts do in like, six entire months. AND they’re an integral part of our culture. not just the capitol! the districts rely on the games too. we can’t just ABOLISH them. that’s CRAZY. but of course i support trans rights! they should have the right to put their names in and showcase their courage and bravery as their PREFERRED gender. but it’s funny you brought that up because i’m actually starting a petition to introduce a nonbinary category as well! tributes shouldn’t be required to align with arbitrary sex characteristics in order to compete. i mean, it’s 2316! i know the districts aren’t as advanced as we are here in the capitol, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be encouraging gender diversity. i’ll take the signatures to the city offices once i have enough. honestly, i have high hopes! the local lgbt community is sure to support it. plus, i mean, why would anyone be against it, really? just think! we could have THREE tributes from each district instead of just two. imagine the economical impact of twelve extra tributes every year! wouldn’t that be something! what do you think? will you sign?

my bedsheet is pregnant and it's. the rest of my laundry

"cigarette" implies the existence of a much larger "cigar"

i recovered by the time i hit post but when i first had this thought i had genuinely forgotten cigars exist

The cool thing about death note is you could feasibly explain the basic premise of it like the mechanics of the note and also L and lights weird homoerotic shit and you would have a pretty good idea of what the entire plot is like without ever having to explain the terrifying floating clown monster

my dad's wildlife photography would do numbers on here