*inflates you making you big and round*

Sam Handwich.

guy on a work call just accidentally said “have a nice freak-end” instead of weekend and now i desperately want that to be the new meme. have a nice freakend everybody

White boy CONFUSES Mexican restaurant staff by ordering in perfect Mandarin.

jobs for people who cant do or handle anything

this is the happiest day of my life

Too soon

65 million years…

That entire response explaining how these two characters didn’t die a fiery death but instead lived long and happy lives literally made my day.

I was ready to be heartbroken again. Thank you for making it happy after all.

I think Spock could hang out with Squidward because they're the same type of cultured faggot but Squidward would get petty and mean about something and Spock would be like honestly mr tentacles I find this type of outburst very distasteful. & he would fix him

do they live in capitalist bikini bottom or socialist space future because the answer really affects whether spock fixes squiddy or systemic injustices change who spock is as a person.

I was imagining the enterprise comes to bikini bottom planet of the week style but I'm obsessed with the idea of spock working at the krusty krab & how that would affect him psychologically

i think bugs r so cutes . what if a animal was so so smalls little tiny . especially the real real teeny ones. aphids and spingtails and such. the stem of a leaf is wider than it is long .. .....

Do you wanna play mermaids? Yay. Okay so my tail is light blue and I have ice powers. And I live in the Arctic sea and watch British sailors die horrible deaths while trying to find the Northwest Passage.

Okay for those of you living in pitiful ignorance, take a raw ear of corn with the husk on and cut all the way around the base (as pictured: above the point where the husk meets the cob, so that the entire husk is severed but still wrapped around the corn. Do not cut through the cob.) Then, with the husk still on, microwave it for 5-7 minutes. It'll basically steam it inside the husk. Remove from microwave --it will be hot, so use a mitt or a towel--and firmly pull the top of the husk/silk, which should come off easily in one piece, unsheathing a flawless corn on the cob. If it doesn't, you probably need to cut a little higher around the base, so all the leaves are severed. No picking off silk!