Today, in Unnecessarily Gendered Products…

and since everything in this hellscape has to be gendered including colors, they gotta use both pink and blue frosting when they decorate to keep the prospective parents guessing before they cut the cake open and reveal how they’re gonna color-code their babies, but that also means:

wired:

LOGIC:

peeing

fixing your makeup

changing tampons/pads

washing your hands

having a normal poop

taking your medication

seeing in the mirror that you have a wardrobe malfunction

avoiding people

looking for a tampon/pad dispenser

visiting the bathroom with a group of friends

receiving a phone call

fighting

graffiti

EMOTION:

fixing your hair

splashing water on your face

having a panic attack

sitting in the stall silently using your cell phone

vomiting

looking for a condom dispenser

having a really bad poop

washing your hands but not because they’re dirty but just because you Needed to

looking in the mirror and having an existential crisis

following people

visiting the bathroom alone

making a phone call

vandalism

Tired of everyone else having all the fun with gender? Well now there’s gender. FOR MEN!

Non-GUYnary

MENderfluid

And for those special nights…

Straight Parents™ : Now now dont act like such a whore little lady™ :) Here let me hold your legs closed together just like how all proper ladies’™ legs should be :))