steals amulets

i like when wikipedia pages for bands have that little chart at the bottom where you can see how they’ve been ritualistically cannibalizing their drummer every 3-5 years since 2007

I can only eat prescription hoagies

adhd will get you thinking "i should make this doctors appointment" every day for 7 months and counting

none of us are making those appointments huh

waters so amazing because you can drink it really sloppy style and like spill it all over yourself and it doesnt even leave a stain. you dont even have to wash it out/ . because its already washed

yet another massive w for water, the greatest fluid in the universe

what a fucking cruel reminder that we can't ever trust that we're safe, not even in a historic gay neighborhood in a liberal city in a blue state. Mickey and Jordan, you won't be forgotten. I'm sorry.

I think I'm going to turn off reblogs when both fundraisers reach their goal. This is such an intensely painful thing to keep seeing in my notifs.

firefox is just such a standard browser for anyone remotely interested in computers that remembering basically every normal person uses google chrome feels like a kick in the head

I don't know how I'm ever expected to be normal again after watching this. this video is already lodging itself deep within my vocabulary as I type

Doctor calls you with your bloodwork results and just says “I’m really mad at you” and then hangs up

i should invent a bicycle with square wheels that cant move and take it to the tour de france and spend 24 hrs at the starting line trying to pedal it while in full aerodynamic posture and at some point ill tip over and bust the frame to which my highly dedicated and sponsored team quickly brings out another square wheeled bike

did you hear they're gonna start publicly executing anyone with a glimmer of hope and a light in their eyes