Local Body Horror Expert

sex position: you, sitting on your throne. me, standing behind you, resting my arm on the back of your throne and sniling so sneetly at your ministers like i have any right to be there

Yeah sorry I can't come into work today. I accidentally heard Primadonna by Marina formerly of and the Diamonds. So I need the day to be a primadonna girl. Yeah it's going to be the whole day.

Everyone envies me for my shrimp lighter

i have a personality flaw that always positions me on the side of characters who are hiding everything and refuse to accept help. like do NOT confide in people. confiding in people is the enemy. REAL winners lie and lie and continue lying until they ruin every single thing theyve got going for them & didnt fix a single goddamn thing. keep digging grandpa youre almost there

do you want to play dead bodies with me

kinda nervous about something. don’t know what it is yet

You're trying to apotheosis and instead you apothe-house-is, can you imagine.

per my last desperate howl at the heavens,

repeat after me: people don’t notice the little details. i’m going to get away with it. people don’t notice the little details. i’m going to get away with it.

Sober as fuck at the back of the club going onto Wikipedia and typing "List of birds"