where I drop my batfam prompt, hc and shit

Because it's a massive East Coast city but the property values are probably like $200 a month for a three bedroom apartment, and most Gothamites are like, "Hey, Bane never swore to break my back."

And here's the thing: you're not just moving out of Gotham City. You're moving into the rest of the DC universe. And it has hero-based power scaling.

Oh, Metropolis looks fucking great. But it gets invaded by aliens and robots and demigods, because Superman is there.

Wonder Woman's tangling with gods.

You go to Central City, and some Reverse-Flash motherfucker runs backwards from an alternate future and kicks your balls off at the speed of light.

You could move to the West Coast, and oh, an entire city just gets exploded by Cyborg Superman or some shit.

How about you move to Indianapolis, or Cleveland? Haha, no. They have no protector during the alien invasions, and you're in Cleveland

So stay in Gotham. Sure, you have lunatics, but you know that if you had a gun, you at least have a chance against the Joker or Riddler. Mongo of War-World would crush you. But Gotham just has creeps, and you know you have a chance. Even Bane, R'as Al-Ghul, Killer Croc, and Mr. Freeze are just slightly altered dudes. Oh no, Poison Ivy is going to kiss me to death! Who gives a shit, you kinda wanted to go out that way anyway.

I think it's all about perception. Gotham City has crime. But when Ares sends his undying legions to march upon the mortal realm and Wonder Woman has to punch all of them, people don't internalize that as "crime." That's "a crisis" or "a religious event" or at best, terrorism. Same thing when Superman has to stop Brainiac from shrinking Metropolis or whatever. That stuff is objectively more dangerous but it's on such a huge scale that "crime" is not the word for it. The cops don't involve themselves in this at any point. But the stuff Batman deals with is like, robberies, assaults, gang wars, serial killings. All his villains commit actual crimes, so they go into police reports, which end up as statistics. So when someone compiles all this data, oh look, Gotham City has the highest crime rate in the country, yet again. Forget the fact that 10% of Keystone City's population had their skulls crushed by invading superintelligent gorillas. Who cares that a random guy in Opal City accidentally teleported the entire state to Hell after he found out the hard way that he was born a wizard. Those are not crimes. There's nothing in the police recordkeeping app's drop-down menu for a Gorilla invasion. Closest thing we've got is Random Chimp Event.

No other superhero really shows the body horror and cosmic horror the same way speedsters do

Jason Todd: Budget?

Dick Grayson: Limited.

jason todd who was such a sweet eager-to-please kid. he literally adored bruce for taking him in and letting him be robin, so he was doing literally anything he could think of to make his adoption worthwhile to bruce. being the model student at school, keeping his room immaculately clean, training as much as he could--the enthusiasm was genuinely baffling to bruce, who up until that point had only ever dealt with dick motherfucking grayson as a child under his care. at first he thought something was wrong with jason, or that he was covering something up. alfred had to pull him aside after a few months just like 'no he's genuinely this much of a people pleaser, master bruce. this isn't an act'. they had no idea what to do with this kid.

bruce doesn't even know most of the stuff jason does, he just assumes these little things Happen to Happen, and doesn't consider that it isn't alfred or that it might not be a coincidence. he counts himself lucky that jason is a well behaved kid and doesn't look too far into the details of how far that behaviour goes. so through the years after jason's death, bruce is genuinely just... fucking baffled.

"alfred, why did you stop making those little smoothie pots and leaving them in the fridge for my breakfasts? i really liked them, but you never have them anymore."

"...what smoothie pots?"

"the ones you always left in the door of the fridge for me, with the post-it notes telling me to have a good morning."

"i have never made you a smoothie pot, master bruce. i fear this was another of jason's little habits."

"...shit."

"indeed."

"so you don't know how to make these smoothie pots?"

like- i want jason to have literally been doing the most random fucking stuff you can think of. he was organising bruce's sock drawer, watering the plants in the downstairs bathroom, stapling together all the WE files in bruce's office so that bruce wouldn't misplace any of them. he was going above and beyond to make bruce's life as easy as possible in any way he could think of for YEARS, and he did it all so quietly that bruce never noticed until jason wasn't around anymore and all of a sudden his life was real fuckin' inconvenient and he had no idea why.

i just think it would be funny if red hood does a big identity reveal in front of all the bats and bruce just instantly bursts into tears in jason's arms weeping about how 'alfred let the fern die and they had to buy a new mop bucket because nobody knew where jason had stored it last' and jason is just. very confused holding a sobbing batman because he genuinely forgot that he used to do any of that stuff. meanwhile dick's in the background next to tim and he's just like 'so were you the one that organised the west attic? 'cause tim thinks it was the spirit of thomas wayne and we've been arguing about it for six months.'

“jasons methods in uth werent sustainable” he didnt intend to sustain them

“jasons a hypocrite and his motives are contradictory” teenagers arent known for being particularly rational

“jason didnt plan for the long term effects and power vacuum left by his takeover” jason didnt plan for the long term, Full Stop

“why does jason do the whole uth confrontation instead of just killing the joker” hes 18 and he wants his dad to choose him

“if jason is trying to reach out to people why is he such an asshole” he is reaching out to get them to kill him

“its egotistical for jason to think his approach is the only right one” have you met a teenage boy. like ever

Tim: Are we going on a mission?

Bruce: No, this is a different matter...*sigh*... we have to talk about the Batcomputer search history.

Batkids: *frozen in horror*

Dick: What do you mean search history? I thought the computer was super encrypted and stuff.

Bruce: Well, it seems that several of you thought that and now we have to have this conversation.

Bruce: Who searched for "murder suspects near me"? You are fired.

Jason: It was a long weekend, I was trying to speed up the process.

Bruce: Next we have "vacation homes in California" which would not be a problem had one not been embezzled in the batarang budget.

Tim: It was worth a try.

Bruce: Well now you will be taking over my patrols while I am in my new vacation home.

Tim: Fair enough.

Bruce: And finally we have "how to adopt many turtles without father finding out" followed by "how to train a violent turtle army."

Damian: Who could have search for that?

Bruce: I found the turtles Damian.

Damian: They will be a great asset on patrol.

Jason: Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.