Your Magic Shy Girl

FUCK YEAH GO CANADA!!!

REBLOG TO LITERALLY SAVE A LIFE

fun fact: tigers also contract their muscles to make a slow tiger into a fast tiger

1 Dalmatian

Something Somewhere At Some Point

I Bought an Animal

Indiana Jone

And then you're like "fuck it, I'll make my own" and once you've done that you toss it into the goodwill bin to be someone else's prada or container of human teeth

And sometimes you gotta go with the container of human teeth purely out of morbid curiosity.

The container of human teeth is what I was looking for specifically. If you must know.

I would also make this sound, because I've never seen a video of a frog being good at its job before

kind of hate my stupid caustic pussy for dissolving my underwear over time but it's kind of cool, like, scientifically

Ya know what I should kidnap a princess it's been awhile since I've done something fun for myself

Okay so it's been a few months since I kidnapped the princess and uh. No one has come to try to rescue her yet. Like at all. I sent a spy to the kingdom and they just don't care. Like they know she's gone and they're not bothering. She's been crying for a few days straight now. Idk what I'm supposed to do here.

An update on the princess. She kinda broke and was very... hollow for a bit there. It took some time to get her interested in learning magic but she eventually came around to it. I'm trying to goad her into reaping bloody vengeance on the family that abandoned her but she's just been really focused on her studies. Maybe once she's more capable, she is still a beginner after all.

It's been a couple of months and the princess' progess on her magical studies is absolutely *stellar* I swear this kid is a generational prodigy she's already bent a Cambion to her will and is casting higher level necromancy and evocation spells. She's such a good apprentice. Is this what it's like to be a proud dad? I'm buying her a gift. Teenage girls enjoy tomes full of dark rituals and such, yeah?

@thebibliosphere @pangur-and-grim

Well, that’s one book waiting for me when I get back home! Also, please tell your publisher Cosmos is the goodest dog 💖

welcome to the Murdersex zine, a zine celebrating all things sex and murder. but um. we don't want to romanticize it or anything so don't make your submissions too murdersexy. we will do extensive background checks on all applicants and if we decide a past work of yours has too much sexy murder we'll have to remove you, sorry. we have limits, you know, we want a tasteful gory spread you could put on your coffee table, and having the Wrong people in it would kill the vibe (and we condemn all killing! wholeheartedly!)

i love how this post picks up whenever something like this happens again