Cheese and fries!!-Amanda seyfrend;Jennifer's body

the entire cycle is bad. it’s all rotten. they know nothing about each other. they know each other better than anyone else. they don’t understand each other. they are the only ones who understand each other.

And by the time he finally gets back it's almost 3 am and the bar is about to close while she's sitting there stone cold sober, surrounded by 5 drunk guys unsuccessfully trying to convince her to give up on waiting for him and go home with one of them instead. And the guy shows up to proceed to beat the shit out of them before explaining himself to her like hey sorry bullshit kept happening, my phone fell into a storm drain and my wallet got stolen when I was trying to find someone who'd borrow me a phone so I could call and

That buys her another hour or so and then, finally, her boyfriend makes it back. He looks like shit, hair down and just a mess, he's wearing an entirely different jacket that he got from an alley, and barely recognizable—especially to 5 guys who've been drunk for hours now. He lurks for a minute, finds out what's going on, and proceeds to pull off the trick shot first try. Throws the jacket off, fixes his hair with a hair tie his girlfriend lends him, finally looks like himself again, and THEN beats the shit out of them with the pool cue.

So true it's awesome to have a game that basically forces you to be creative to fully engage with it's been so much fun to see

Happy Weedster to all who celebrate, I drew this in mere seconds so my gay ass could go back to digging dirt in minecraft

Jason: they didn’t fit.

Bruce, nodding solemnly: I do remember that one

Based on @cowardsexual 's post of a very sleepy phm science team and Grace's teacher instincts

tony: *glancing up fvrom his coffee* hey, ki--wait, what's up with your suit? miles, standing in his kitchen like a deer caught in headlights: uh tony: wasn't it blue?? literally two days ago?????? miles: uh. right. that's uh---yeah. but i . . . had a change in style tony: weirdo peter: *gesturing frantically from behind tony for miles to hurry up, grab the bandages, and leave* miles: anyway gotta go sir have fun with your . . . fourth coffee of the day. at two am tony: you're normally not this snarky miles: yeah i'm on a journey of self improvement. first the blue, now the doormat personality peter: *facepalms*

Matt: “Did you sue?”