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@hollymbaker
Today I made a starteling realization...
That I’d some how comebined the song “point me in the direction of Albuquerque” by The Partridge Family and “Albuquerque” by Weird Al in my brain. I haven’t listened to either sing since I was very very young. I just remember my favorite Partridge Family being the Albuquerque song but in remembering it I have the Albuquerque section from the Weird Al song as my only memory of the Partridge Family song.
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Apparently my director went to see a production of West Side Story a few years ago, and the guy playing Chino forgot his gun before coming out for his final scene. Once it got to the big scene where he is supposed to shoot Tony, he screeched “Poison Boots” and kicked the actor playing Tony until he went down. The girl playing Maria then had to jerk the shoe off of Chino’s foot, and had to do the gunshot scene asking “How many kicks Chino? How many kicks, and one kick left for me”.
There should be a blog dedicated to theatrical urban legends. Like that opening weekend of Dracula where Dracula (still hungover) vomited all over the audience during the first stage direction that everyone has a friend of a friend that worked on the show and was there.
or the one where the bridge never came out for Javert’s suicide and so he just pretended to stab himself and then lay there until the lights went out
best story i heard was when a friend of mine saw a show where juliet forgot to bring the dagger out on stage so she just ripped the squib out of her chest and blood squirted everywhere
During a passion play a friend of my brother was supposedly in, one of the roman soldiers who was supposed to stab jesus on the cross and accidentally grabbed the wrong spear- he was supposed to grab one with a fake tip, but instead he grabbed one with an actual metal tip and, well
Jesus screamed “JESUS CHRIST YOU STABBED ME”.
Since that Jesus had to be taken down due to a bad case of stab-itis, the backup Jesus came in, but he weighed significantly less than the original Jesus- which would have been fine, except that at the end the cross was supposed to ascend upwards with Jesus on it, and the weights hadn’t been adjusted.
So Jesus, instead, ROCKETED UP into heaven (or, just, above the stage).
This is wild from start to finish
I was in Peter Pan once and one night at a performance, the adhesive holding our Hook’s mustache on was wearing off. It was near the end with a big fight scene and when he got attacked, he let his mustache fall and went “YOU RIPPED MY MUSTACHE OFF!” in a scandalized tone and it added a new note of hilarity to the whole scene (which was supposed to be funny anyway)
In my seventh grade play, which was a midsummer night’s dream, Thisbe didn’t have a sword so she stabbed herself with a coathanger
My junior year we were doing Romeo and Juliet and after Juliet poisons herself it was supposed to go dark and she’d get off the stage. well the light crew accidentally turned them back on and Juliet who was sitting up slammed back down on the wooden bed with a loud bang. To which my theater teacher says into the com “zombie Juliet” and everyone who heard that had to keep as quiet as possible while our eyes were filling with tears.
i attended my county’s performing arts high school majoring in vocal studies, (mostly geared towards musical theater and opera styles) and once a year we got a field trip to new york (we were in jersey, so it’s not exactly far). we would do one touristy thing, an actor’s workshop with friends of our teachers working in various performing industries in nyc, and then see a show.
my first year doing this, our industry contacts were 1 actor, 1 casting director, and 1 producer to get different aspects of the business, and they all gave us amazing advice and told fantastic stories. the actor in question was Zazu on Broadway’s The Lion King for several years, and told the best story by far.
in The Lion King, there are only two pieces of pre-recorded noise in the whole show. one, when Pumbaa does a MASSIVE fart while fighting the hyenas, and the other being Mufasa saying REMEMBERRRRRR as Simba climbs Pride Rock. the actor told us while struggling not to laugh that, during one night’s performance, someone forgot to flip the tape of these pre-recorded noises.
so, at the end of the show, the great climax where Simba finally accepts his place in the Circle of Life, the heavens parted and-
PFFFFFFFFFRRRRRBTFTBTBFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
everyone froze. and then all ran off stage positively HOWLING with laughter.
the lesson: sometimes there are fuck ups you just can’t recover from.
During a high school production of Beauty and the Beast, where I was assistant costumer and assistant prop master, our director decided that we needed to spice up Gaston’s introduction. You know: in the movie, when Lefou runs in trying to catch the duck/goose that Gaston has just shot out of the sky?
Originally, the actors were going to stroll on stage with our Lefou hauling in the really neat (and real!) taxidermied deer head that we had found in a local thrift store. Now, two days before opening night, our director wants Lefou to run in from off stage and catch a stuffed duck that Gaston has just shot. This, of course, requires two things to work properly as a scene: a gunshot noise, and a stuffed duck.
The gunshot noise, we had covered. Blue-collar, redneck school? Guns a plenty to record. The stuffed duck? Harder than you might have thought to obtain.
Three hunting stores, two taxidermists, and one Pet Supply Store ™, I’d finally found a semi-realistic pheasant squeaky toy. What follows is an account of the ways this dog toy managed to be the nightmare prop of the six show run.
Opening Night: The stagehand, who was supposed to drop the bird from the ceiling catwalk, missed his cue and didn’t drop the it. Lefou’s actor rolls with it and does an excellent job of looking around foolishly before getting cuffed upside the head by Gaston. The stagehand then drops the bird squarely on Gaston’s head. Cue laughter.
Saturday Matinee: Different stagehand throws the bird instead of dropping it and beans Lefou directly in the face with the prop. Lefou falls over. Cue laughter.
Saturday Night: Bird is missing during curtain call. Director hauls the deer head down from it’s place on the tavern wall and tells Gaston and Lefou to revert to the old blocking i.e. no gunshot, no bird, just walk in with trophy. During Gaston and Lefou’s conversation, gun shot sound goes off and a stagehand throws the bird onto the stage…from the wrong side of the stage. Lefou and Gaston stare at it in awkward silence for a solid thirty seconds before Lefou makes off-script, subtle joke about Gaston’s gun going off late instead of early. Cue adults in the audience laughing.
Sunday Matinee: Director begs the stagehands to get the cue right at least once. Gunshot and bird prop go off without a hitch. Lefou accidentally catches the prop when it falls from the catwalk. He’s so startled that he caught it that Gaston runs right in to him. They drop both the gun and the bird props, and grab the wrong prop in their scramble. Gaston spends the rest of the scene gesturing dramatically with a stuffed pheasant, instead of a gun.
Sunday Night: Director is fed up with bird prop, decides that Lefou should just carry bird prop in after gunshot happens off stage. Lefou accidentally squeezes the prop during the intro conversation, startling both actors into silence with the squeaky toy noise - apparently, neither of them realized it was a dog toy.
Monday Elementary School Show: Lefou walks on stage with the bird. Accidentally drops the prop during conversation with Gaston. Gaston doesn’t notice the dropped prop and steps on it. Cue depressingly sad squeaky toy noise. Cue ten years olds laughing.
In a dress rehearsal for Peter Pan, Wendy forgot one of her lines and started singing the star spangled banner and the audience was singing along and people got emotional
Once during the closing night of our high school production of south pacific, we were havin our pre-show pep talk, and our director reminded everyone (mostly seniors) not to go off script to try to be funny. Of course we had one lead who decided to ignore this advice. So during one scene where the sailors were “fishing” at the edge of the stage, he decides to pull up his rubber fish, make a comment about how it wasn’t big enough, and throw it back into the “ocean”, which of course, was the audience. Now, this probably wouldn’t have been too much of a problem if he had gently tossed it, since it would have landed right behind the pit. But naturalt, he decided that this fish had to break free in the most dramatic way possible, so he winds up and chucks this fucking foot-long rubber fish with all of his strength. So now imagine the stage crew, all of us huddled together, silently screaming as this limp fish goes sailing over the heads of the audience in what looks like a low-budget reenactment of free willy, only to slap some poor parent across the face. I swear, you could almost hear the chorus of “mmmm whatcha saaayyy” rising from all those backstage. From that moment on, all rubber fish were ferociously guarded by yours truly, under the direction of our stage manager.
This post gets better every time it shows up on my dash
My Junior year of high school our drama club put on Peter Pan,which involved the construction of a small boat fashioned out of scrap wood,plaster and an old wagon. A few of the actors who were cast as pirates had to ride the boat-wagon down the aisle to the front of the theatre,which had a concrete floor that sloped. About halfway down the brake they were using to control their speed gave out,and they crashed into the front of the stage at high speed.The entire boat imploded. The actors just sat there in silence for at least a full 10 seconds in the midst of the wreckage before my friend Adena screamed “ABANDON SHIP” and they all jumped out and took off running.
My school once did a parody of Cinderella and I was Cinderellas dog. At one point Cinderella, the Fairy Godmother, and the dog had to flea the ball. I thought going down the stage steps wasn’t dramatic enough for “fleeing” so I launched myself off the stage and landed painfully in the center isle about three rows in accompanied with a very, very loud thump of face on concrete where I laid there like a dead fish for a while. At this point Cinderella and the Fairy Godmother got to me, not knowing what to do they stepped over me and continued running. But Cinderella had forgotten to loose her shoe so half way out of the room she chucked it back where it hit me in the head. I bolted upright and ran shrieking hysterically out of the room. A moment later the Prince came down to where the shoe was picked it up, looked dramatically at where I had exited and said “I hope that dog’s okay.” completely forgetting his line.
This may be my all time favorite post.
I was once in a production of “Hello Dolly!” and the two leads were complete jokers and would prank each other during rehearsals all the time. The rest of the cast never thought they would do that during a show, but they told the chorus (separately) that they each were planning to add some tongue into the final kiss between Dolly and Horace. Of course, we told neither of them about the other’s plan, so during the very last show, we were all waiting in the wings to see what would happen. What happened was we ended the show with the two leads violently frenching each other on stage as the curtain dropped. They started dating two weeks later.
Last year we did “Once Upon a Mattress” and the jester was supposed to do a somersault off of a stack of like 3 mattresses and then the minstrel and Lady Larken would be covered up with a blanket, but during one show the jester knocked down one of the mattresses and we had no time to fix it so we had to throw the mattress on top of them
In my Freshman year of high-school we put on a performance of Les Mis. In said play there’s the scene where Javert and Valjean confront each-other by the bedside of the now dead Fantine. well, Javert Had his prop weapon (I can’t remember if it was a sword or truncheon,) but Valjean didn’t have his. So we the Crew decided during our builds that we’d rig up a chair to break so our Valjean could use one of the broken legs as a club kind of thing. For all of our shows it went off without a hitch, but for the last one we decided to have some fun. Originally we really just weakened one of the legs so it would break off after our Valjean hurled the chair on the floor, but for the final chair we too saws and cut into everything. All the legs, the back poles, everything. We cut it just enough so that our Valjean would be able to sit in the chair and not break it, but when he tossed it on the ground? Chaos. And that’s what happened. All we told him before the show was “When your toss the chair on the ground, give it your all.” And so when the scene came all of the crew gathered behind the legs and assorted hidden places of the stage to watch. When our Valjean hurled the chair to the ground it shattered. Wood and splinters went in practically every direction and I’m sure that I even saw our Fantine flinch as she feigned death. There was no chair leg left for him to use. So we all got to witness as our Valjean fended off Javert with naught but a splinter. Fun times.
THERE ARE BETTER STORIES EVERY TIME I LOVE THIS POST SO MUCH
Back in high school our drama department was putting on a comedy, whose name escapes me now, but the intro starts off telling how the hero was born. The two actors playing his parents came out from either side of the stage and joined in the middle and waved at the audience while the narrator spoke the story. At one point he states ’ they had a bouncing baby boy…’ and a toy baby was literally thrown on stage with a ’ AWAAA’ baby sound effect, then was caught by the father and given to the mother.
Now the first show went off without a hitch.
The second show, my friend was the stage hand that threw the baby on stage.
My friend was also the star quarterback for our football team.
Second show comes on, actors meet in the stage and wave, narrator says his line… And from right stage with the sound effect on cue this baby doll was fucking HURLED into the air about 10 fucking feet and dropped like a sack of wet rags down to the actors and the father actually CAUGHT it first try.
I have never in my life seen the 8D face on an actual person until that day.
IT GOT BETTER
god this post is long but I have one more to add:
I just finished a music theatre prep program where our choir teacher was a head music director for a number of shows that ran in the toronto theatre district and one of the first shows he was involved with was the lion king
so the actors are in maybe their third week of previews, its a sunday afternoon show. They had a wooden puppet for the baby Simba that the actor could put their thumbs into the back of to move its little paws. they affectionately called the pupped “Stiffy”
on this specific day my choir teacher is doing his typical job when he hears a commotion backstage. He heads up to mainstage where the actors are coming off after finishing circle of life, the gorgeous, moving opening song that finishes with baby simba held high in the air while all the animals are cheering. the actors are fucking hysterical.
He asked what happened and one of the actors said that right at the climax of the opening, as baby simba is being held over the cliff, “They dropped Stiffy”
When I was Mrs Potts in beauty and the beast our Lumiere went to make his entrance before be our guest and when he ran on stage his shoes lost traction and he fell squarely on his back losing both his candle head and wig…. With out skipping a beat he turned to the audience and said “it looks like I am becoming human again a little earlier tonight” queue audience dying with laughter and all of us staying completely in character.
My high school did a stage version of one of the Pink Panther movies (it was so bad it was good), and yours truly was playing the valet. At one point someone hands Inspector Clouseau a ticking package, which I was supposed to grab and run offstage with before it exploded. Well, our smoke machine malfunctioned in the middle of the scene, so the stage started filling with smoke before the bomb had even been introduced. Cue Inspector Clouseau whipping around halfway through a line and berating me at length about how I was always burning his dinner, while the audience was in hysterics.
When I was in the Little Mermaid I was supposed to dance some fabric across stage to be water. Except the crew was rolling Ariel’s rock off and the wheel snagged on the fabric. Cue me flying backwards five feet and desperately pulling on this fabric while still trying to look graceful. And it didn’t happen once. It didn’t happen twice. It happened 3 times.
I was in the little mermaid a couple years back and I was Ursula, the evil witch that steals ariels voice. When I told Ariel that all she needed was a little BODY LANGUAGE (HA!), I was supposed to give her a little hip check and continue on with the song.
So i had mastered it with our Ariel during rehearsal, and it came to opening night. I was wearing a gigantic black hoop skirt to make me look fat, and I had never practiced in my hoop skirt with our lead.
II went to hip check her and I ended up smacking her so hard with the hoop skirt that I sent her flying across the stage, and I slipped and fell on my butt. Thankfully my head was facing the audience, so only the crew saw up my skirt (thankfully I had worn leggings that night).
I continued on singing, but it took Flotsam, Jetsam, Prince Eric, and a very bruised Ariel to get me up off my back.
The audience thought it was all part of the show though, so we had to redo the whole “fall-over fiasco” 9 times!!
I was in a camp production of Beauty and the Beast Jr. Now this day camp did 5 shows in 6 weeks with 2 casts for each show (Thursday night cast and Friday night cast) ranging in age from 3-18. Once your 18 and a full time counselor, you get one final show where you usually get a really good role of your choosing in the Friday night cast. This was my last show. I was Mrs. Potts. Since these shows only have 1.5 weeks of rehearsal at most, and staggered rehearsals so both casts get to reherse, and the college counselors can reherse only breaks, lunch, or after camp, we decided to do half the songs with the live band, and the other half with the recorded music. Well everything went well until it cane time for “Human Again”. At first the person running the music forgot their cue and we had to keep adlibbing about how much we wanted to be human again and how great being HUMAN AGAIN would be. Then Someone forgot to fast forward past “Something There” which we did live. So that song started playing. So I just started singing the song until they noticed (it’s my favorite song so I know the whole thing). Once they stopped it I just turned to my other giant animated objects and said “oh I just couldn’t help myself, I love that song! But it’s be really great to be human again!” And then they finally played the right track. Backstage my director told me it was one of the best saves he’s ever seen in his 15 years directing these camp plays.
Whaaat, another one? These are great!
I made mine. It’s not as fancy or pretty but I loved it. I used some costume jewelry from my husbands grandma and most of the rest were from wish and I used some fake flowers and peacock feathers to fill it out (matches my wedding colors).
Who the hell rolled a one? This is truely the darkest timeline.
Mostly useless superpowers
I’ll go first:
Always knowing before the first lyrics if it’s “Ice ice baby” or “under pressure”.
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Not a Batman fan but...
I FIND it very interesting that Robert Pattinson FOUND his way to this part....he is a Hufflepuff after all
GOT
If Cersei is the only one left alive at the end of this episode, we’ve decided to cheer for the dead.
I’ve realized that marriage
Is being too tired to move your arms so you use random body parts to try and seduce your partner.
Aka my husband just tried to touch my boob with his knee....
Bandersnatch
I have not seen any of Black Mirror so I have no idea what this is actually about, but I can’t help thinking it’s secretly a biopic about Benedict Cumberbatch.
ADDY IS BACK NEXT WEEK!!!! Yas queen!!!!
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Guys, this ad for the local dental college is terrifying
Chris, don’t you kink shame Ben!
You know that feeling?
You know that feeling you get when you just know something bad is gonna happen all day and then it does? Yeah had one of those. It’s a relief to know I’m not going crazy but the thing that happened was so bad that I feel bad for feeling relieved.
Did anyone notice?
Felix was present on the train during the “I Feel You” scene? I’ve seen people mention Bug and Rajan, but they didn’t even meet up with Felix until the next scene. I’m not hating, but I just noticed...
Scrolling through the Sense8 tag...
And I see a long text post and get excited that someone is breaking down scenes and talking about this fantastic show.
.
.
.
And then I see that it’s hate for my new favorite OT3. And I just keep scrolling.
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Impossibility is just a kiss away from reality
Then who the fuck do I need to kiss at Netflix to get season 3?!
this was it
this was the moment that wolfie decided that kala’s got taste. RAJAN IS A GODDAMN KEEPER
You can keep saying that, but the moment Rajan asked Kala to teach him how to shoot people....that’s the real moment.
