talking like point-and-click game narration to the bugs in my room

you can't get out that way!

that's not very helpful.

maybe the open window will help.

try the open window instead.

I'm a pacifist like institutionally but I'm absolutely certain that violence solves at least some problems on a much smaller level. I don't believe in wars or nuclear weapons or military campaigns I do believe in the power of that guy who punched the nazi in the face so hard his entire media presence immediately crumbled to dust

whenever I tell a story I feel like Uncle Colm from Derry Girls

it’s so magical and beautiful that there are sprawling interconnected cave systems carved deep into the earth by various geological forces and you don’t have to go in them. there are miles and miles of stone passageways in total darkness that require you to exhale all the air out of your lungs to squeeze through parts of them and you don’t have to be there. some of these squeezes are underwater and require cave divers to take off their oxygen tanks and push them through ahead of them and me i am above ground looking at the sky as we speak. there are untold subterranean wonders no human has ever seen and i will not be the one to discover them #grateful #blessed

in chess the queens can kill each other which is toxic yuri and the kings can never get within a square of each other which is doomed yaoi

really fond of humans just from an appearance standpoint. the long legs. the manes of hair that can come in practically any colour and texture. those crazy high-contrast eyes with the white scleras and colourful irises. the fingers being so much longer than the toes. there's a lot to love. solid 10/10 animal species

Herding sheep, looking after kids, and playing healer in videogames: every day you're surprised of the sheer innovative genius of how they'll find the most inconvenient goddamn places just outside your reach to get hurt or put themselves in lethal danger.

Isn’t this sheep in real life?

Children in real life also.

The humble Oxford comma

#you can understand op by using your brain

just found out you can do more than one thing each day. i was just doing the one

Me the next day, only able to do zero things: what is this bullshit

the power of a bowl of rice mixed with some fucking bullshit cannot be overstated

do you ever find yourself in an elevator or a bus or a train car with a bunch of people and think to yourself damn we’d make a compelling ensemble company for a black box theatre play or a novella of some kind should something go wrong here

I’d say that I’d commit war crimes for Eva Stratt but she’s doing that all on her own and I’m sitting there saying things like “yippee!” and “woohoo!”

u used to be able to put a dvd in your computer. and then u could watch it