I'm apologizing in advance for this train wreck

we could go back to telegraphs instead of social media. send your mutuals unspeakable strings of morse code at 4:30am

.- …. …. …. …. …. / ..-. . .-.. .-.. / -.. --- .-- -. / .- -. -.. / -… .-. --- -.- . / -- -.-- / .--. . -. .. - … / - --- -.. .- -.-- / -.-- . --- .-- -.-. …. / --- ..- -.-. …. / -.-- --- ..- -.-. …. -.-.-- -.-.-- -.-.-- -.-.-- / … . -. - / ..-. .-. --- -- / -- -.-- / - . .-.. . --. .-. .- .--. ….

y’all my friend decided to investigate what was blocking their drain system and you are not prepared for the answer

Grim Reaper holding a scythe must have been a much more potent symbol when scythes were in common, everyday use, when people had actually used them on crops, sharpened them, felt the grains falling by the thousands in a single swift sweep. The scythe still exists as a symbol, sure, but it's one that has little visceral meaning to the people that look at it.

#everyone's in the notes going 'modern grim reaper should drive a combine harvester!!!' but they are missing the point I think#a combine harvester is not a common everyday tool for anyone but a farmer#and farmers are a much smaller percentage of the population than they were back then#and a combine harvester is not a thing you hold in your hands#it's about the warm wood against the skin of your palm#it's about your arms flexing out in the sweeping arc of the harvest – the muscles working; the sun on your back#the soft shushing sound of the grain falling before the blade#the perfect sharpness of the steel – a sharpness you have yourself honed with your own whetstone#the smell of cut greenery rising up around you as you work#the way you can see each individual stalk fall but each one is irrelevant in the cluster of its fellows#..............actually the increased emotional distance of the combine harvester vs the scythe is a funny parallel to the increased distanc#which the average modern person has from agriculture and the source of their food#death bears a scythe because farming is THE foundation of society#it is what most of society spends its time doing#and all of society is deeply aware of how the harvest is going because even if they live in distant cities#when the harvest goes bad the cities starve#only the very wealthy can insulate themselves from such things and even they would be wiser not to#all of this changed a lot and very quickly in the last few centuries (tags via @aethersea)

Swedish Chef neopronouns: bork/bork/bork

there are at least three houses in new orleans

Coolest thing about lord of the rings? The king of horses shows up. It appears he is no different from all other horses

King of the eagles shows up later. He can talk. Horse king couldn't talk.

He didn't want to talk to you.

He just doesn’t do much about his administrative duties

But he didn't need to - his rule was stable, after all.

my mom once told me i was a ski jumper in a past life because she dreamed about a ski jumper dying in a terrible accident when she was pregnant with me, and said it was definitely true cause the ski jumper in her dream was also blonde. i never had the heart to tell her this is absolutely not something catholics can believe.

The Qanon people absolutely won the culture war, by the way, and all of you deeply impressionable yankees helped them win.

Always RB: because there is never enough love. And fanfic love is some of the purest.

it is impossible to watch a movie. every night i think i want to watch a movie. no movie gets watched. because it's not possible

and yet they keep making movies with the hopes that one day humanity will discover a way to watch them. it's so inspiring