yes, i'll live, but i won't enjoy it

I'm am influencer 😊 *influences all of my followers to attack*

IM TORN INTO PIECES

creating a bare-bones socialist compound for your Sims to live in as radical praxis

yo

More and more people are just starting to say fuck a poker face

lmaooo

they looked at each other like, this bitch 😂

I friggin lost it when they looked at each other.

It’s a different thing in the USA we actually have wild animals.

I’m American. I got my degree in West Virginia. There have been 2 (MAYBE 3, it’s a little unclear) verifiable fatal wolf attacks in All of North America since at least as far back as 1900. I promise no doctor is assuming wolves when a patient gets rolled in. That said, this post is just a joke

*person attacked by a werewolf is wheeled into the ER* “it looks like they were attacked by a… very big raccon?”

question

i honestly am welcome in most buildings, im an eager guest; and they love to have me

thinking about the woman at work earlier who, upon me telling her we were about to close, immediately abandoned her half full cart of stuff and BOOKED it out of the store

This is what it feels like to be in training at a new job

(hillary clinton voice) you’d better get yourselves to those Wet Ass Polls!

Tony Hawk is like fucking Perry the Platypus because if I saw him without a skateboard I'd be like "A man" and the second he picks up a skateboard I'd be like "TONY HAWK?!?!?!?!?!"

This basically sums up all his tweets