Titled

yeah no offense to confucius or anything but if i was about to embark on a journey of revenge i would simply not dig two graves

well yeah you dig it thats how you make a grave

A feel like this is a conversation between  Shakespeare's clowns, and I love that.

Hate it when you're wearing "military-esque" clothing like camo pants or combat boots and some old vet asks you if you're from a military family like fuck off papa war crimes I'm appropriating your culture here.

How are you appropriating a vet’s culture??? Aren’t they just like, animal doctors? What do vets have to do with the army?????

I love you

i think those survival crafting games should take nutrition into account a little bit more. like for example if you eat 45 bowls of miso soup in a row your character should die from sodium poisoning

DON’T become even a casual nerd about historical fashion because you’ll start looking at pseudo-medieval fantasy and going “that jacket and those breeches are 200 years apart and reflect extremely different social movements” and “oh no they were NOT making shirts like that prior to industrialization” and “a fly front? in MY ~1500s???”

as much as i poke fun at “tumblr prose,” i will acknowledge that sometimes when you’re writing and you’re really in the groove, you’re really feeling yourself, you’re on your capital-a Author shit, and you write a line that makes you go, “oh yeah, this is the Good Shit. this is so Subtle and Says So Much. this is Characterization. this is Themes and Motifs. you could write a whole essay about this one line. the master of the craft strikes again!” and then a month or whatever later when you’re editing you read over it again with post-write clarity and you realize you wrote some real “people die when they’re killed” bullshit

fun fact one of the world champions in pepper-eating contests is a trans woman and she actually faced significant backlash because people somehow thought she had a biological advantage. to eating spicy pepper

update bc i went back and checked: her name is brianna “the chilli queen” skinner and she set a record in 2017 by slamming back 23 carolina reapers consecutively. she only stopped when told to by the referees, and the next year she stepped down out of boredom. queen

The championship, it should be noted, is unisex. Apparently being a trans woman gives you an innate biological advantage over both cis men and cis women.

The innate biological advantage of being cool as fuck

"youve already written that trope" yesss. i like it a lots. i will be writing it again. 1000 stories of the same trope over and over again for ten million years

the mexican football team has a 17 yrs old player and one of the funniest outcomes of this is that he cannot appear in any ad for gambling or drinking so he only appears in candy and milk advertisements. his first world cup and he's not even legally allowed to drive. his nickname is "morita" (little berry). he's three apples tall.

going straight into the woods call that penis mysterious