emo

thank you for tuning in to faggot fm i’m your dj sexchange.com we've got some hits lined up for you tonight. semen and girlfunkel, joan bi-ez, gay bob dylan and kicking us off as always are the normal beatles

i respect ppl who think frodo & sam were sucking & fucking constantly when the narrator wasn't looking. but personally i think the furthest they went was an awkward attempt at mutual handjobs one night in mordor which started as sam trying to do something anything that'd make frodo feel good & frodo insisted on doing it for sam too & sam closed his eyes & tried to imagine it was rosie cotton while frodo tried to remember the shire or focus on the texture of sam's rough hand or the unyielding heat in his own grip or think about anything other than the great burning wheel & neither of them succeeded. & frodo never got fully hard & eventually pushed sam's hand away but kept going & sam felt like he had failed & part of him wanted to push frodo's hand away too but instead he came harder than he had ever in his life & they never talked about it again

The year is 2015, you wake up at 2pm and rush to your computer. Your friends are on skype! You message your skype group and say “dgdjfgdfg GOOD MRONGING I OVERSLEP TGDFG”, all your friends reply with a keysmash. They update you on what happened while you napped, two of your mutuals got called out for kinstealing. Tsh- not like you’re surprised. Even if they tagged as “not kin or id”, you knew they were reblogging too much chrom art for them not to be kin. Your friends quickly send you the callout post link and you scroll through it hastily. Looks like they also stole their mutuals theme layout. You close the callout and open tumblr.com, you recently changed your url from bpdayato to ayato2 (score!) and need to reblog the notice post again for your mutuals who may not have seen. You have one new ask! You open your inbox to read it. It says- “were u tumblr user schizogod.” …you delete the ask. You know if you say yes they will bring up old callouts, but that’s not important- your friends just sent you a rabbit invite and you’re going to watch darkweb videos!

is this like satire or did you guys actually live this

“God’s favorite little darling” as your bio when you’re 30…. It should be “if the lord lets me see another day”

@wolfi-amadeus-mozart

... my pleasure. Wolfgang.

everyday on here it’s like okay well sure

one time a guy friend told me he was quitting league of legends and literally two weeks later she was on estrogen. these events are intrinsically connected in my mind.

There is still time [to stop playing league of legends]

this fetish stuff is getting out of hand what the fuck is word play