Lord of Rats

listen to me, this is so so important: you've gotta get used to really giving it your 60% as a default. like don't half-ass it necessarily but try not to go over 70% or so of an ass. you'll feel better and live a happier more fulfilled life, and on the rare occasions where you do need to lock the fuck in you'll be able to pull off bullshit that the sad miserable wretches giving it their 100% can never dream off, because they're busy draining themselves dry and you have energy reserves to spare.

This is actually what I was adviced to do at the work rehabilitation program I went to. Hasn't left my mind since. 10/10 solid advice

god I'm such a slut for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce *decides it’s inaccurate to refer to myself as a slut in light of my minimal sexual activity* if The Enemy discovered my ardor for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce, they would gain a significant strategic advantage

sunshiney characters who adore the mean grumpy character, platonically or romantically, but not DESPITE them being mean as if that isn’t who the other “really” is deep down. they love it. they think the other is the funniest cleverest most delightful person alive

if the sunshiney character doesn’t have to cover their mouth up trying not to laugh at every sharp comment, completely altering how everyone else thinks abt the sunshiney character, then what’s the point

who up thinking about the giant dead friend hole in trinity’s heart

not every mutual fits neatly into an archetypal medievalism but there are some mutuals that im like yeah addressing you as “my liege” would come strangely naturally

auto immune disorders happen when the immune system ignores regulatory factors and begins attacking healthy bodily tissues, due to what scientists refer to as "sheer love of the game"

Why don’t we let the guy whose every plan could be reasonably construed as an abstract suicide attempt take a crack at it