If you wanted consistency youre in the wrong place

(goverment voice) we need to protect the children from pornography so our plan is to remove their eyes so they would never see something so traumatic. if you are against removing children's eyes you are basically a pedophile

they say you can't pour from an empty cup but i've been doing it my whole life and aside from all of these mysterious ailments it's working out great for me

this was just ep 9 btw

Does anyone else get pissed off when you wake up just as you were making significant progress in some bullshit task you had to do in a dream? Like great now I did all that shit for nothing

if you see me liking contradicting headcanons for the same character just know it's because I do not give a fuck and I have an active imagination #hewouldsaythat

sometimes it’s not about ‘would he say that or do that’ it’s more like that would be hilarious if he did because I have a jester’s heart

i appreciate when websites have a spectrum of blocking options. i hate when the only choice is to hard block op like sometimes you need the option to mute or block a specific post. absolutely no beef with the person who made the post you just put an image of a large spider on my dash 400 times and i dont want to see that please thank you.

wedding dresses are white specifically so that if the bride goes axe-crazy you can rest assured you will see the blood stains all over her and it'll be sick as fuck

reading about the participation of children in rituals as a form of play in ancient greece and came across an incredibly charming story from julius pollux's onomasticon where a flood prevented the adults from reaching a sanctuary to sacrifice a ram to heracles, and the children solved the problem by....sticking a bunch of sticks in an apple to give it "legs" and "horns" and offering it as a sacrifice instead. it's such a charming thought and i can perfectly picture kids these days also pretending at sacrificing an apple "goat" at recess

you can pry starting sentences with 'and' or 'but' out of my cold, dead hands

gender essentialism is soooo funny bc it's like "this is what women are like" and you're like "I've met women and many of them, if not the majority, have not been like that" and it's like "well women SHOULD be like that" and you're like "why should women be like that" and its like "because that's what women are like"

I like that other ducks don’t sound like that in the Disney toon universe. Donald Duck is just weird.

i need crossword puzzles to stop giving me sports clues. dont ask me about football stars and nba championships and baseball team names. im the kind of nerd who chooses to do crossword puzzles why would you expect this of me. cruel and unusual.

I love characters who would die for each other but will not, under any circumstances, communicate a single honest feeling.