I feel as though what drives most rude / inconsiderate behavior I experience IRL on a day to day basis comes from a place of having this unearned and unnecessary sense of urgency in situations that aren't actually urgent. I think if more people became aware of this completely unnecessary sense of urgency in situations that actually aren't urgent, it might make co-existing and sharing public spaces with other people a lot easier and more tolerable.
That text post that's been making the rounds that goes something like "Omg you made it to the same red light as everyone else but faster and more dangerously and recklessly, should we call nascar? Do you want a medal?" summarizes exactly what I'm trying to talk about.
It's like when I have to change buses at one of the bigger and busier bus stops, and the people who get off the same bus as me shove and elbow past me to get off before me, and then shove and elbow past anyone even slightly in their way on the way to the bus they're switching to, only to end up on the same bus as all the people they shoved and elbowed, with several minutes to spare before it leaves and plenty of open seats left.
I think this unnecessary urgency a lot of people feel in their day to day lives drives a lot of bad behavior. I'm not saying I'm innocent of this (is anyone?), I've felt it too in plenty of situations that didn't call for it, and regrettably was less kind than I should have been as a result. But I try to be aware of it, and always try to ask myself it it's really as urgent as my lizard brain is trying to tell me it is, and even if it was urgent, does that still justify unkind behavior?
Is shoving or elbowing another person aside going to make the difference between whether or not you make it to the bus before it pulls away? (hint: at least where I live, most of the time that's a no because the drivers usually won't leave if they see people from another bus heading towards their bus). Is shoving and elbowing people aside in a crowded grocery store going to make any real difference in how quickly you get your shopping done?
Does a few extra seconds of time actually justify cruel and unkind behavior towards people you perceive as slightly inconveniencing you?
One of my friends family has a thing they say that ive stolen which is whenever you're driving and someone passes you or speeds up dramatically and loudly or cuts you off at an intersection where you have dight of way because they Have To Go First to just go "wow that's the most important person in the world. They just have to get where they're goimg immediately and no one else's business is as urgent" or something like that
Especially when its like you're going 47 in a 45 and thats Just Too Slow for Mr Important over here so they have to pass you(even if its not a passing zone)
I swear i took like 30 secs to speed up from 35 to 45 on a dark country road that i was unfamiliar with a few weeks ago and this Extremely Important Person tm passed me in a no passing zone on a curve on a road with no street lights and so did the person behind me and i decided i didn't have to feel bad that it took me a minute to turn my brights off because they had theirs on behind me the whole time π
But im sure it was worth it for the Most Important Person in Rural Location I Live Near to get wherever the fuck they were going that much fasterπ
CRUCIALLY: People who are regularly in situations where 20 seconds truly is the difference between life or death have a shorthand. For example: codes in a hospital. We preassign where we stand and where we go. If i need to grab from a med cart during a code and then give it to the patient, i know exactly who will be in my way *and they also know they will be in my way*. We speak in short clipped sentences, we talk loud, we move fast, we *will* shove you if we need to.
But. Everyone in the room is aware of this, everyone in the room accepts this, and if anyone teeters over into true rudeness in the moment they come back and apologize.
This is not the case in a grocery store. Behave accordingly.
