Hey Hows It Going

Oh my god you can see him really acting natural with it, going where he wants, stopping and looking around, not confused or clumsy with it. they really gave this turtle a little mobility aid it took to.

Natalie Portman and Taika Watiti hyping up the new Thor movie as “so gay” and “super gay” respectively JUST before the premier screening only for the plot to revolve all around Thor and Jane’s relationship is so extremely fucking funny

FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND POUNDS OF PRESSURE. THAT IS MY POWER. MY PISS STREAM LASER BEAM. NO FORCE ON EARTH IS ENOUGH TO RESIST MY URINE. THIS IS NO WATER PICK. I AM FAR STRONGER THAN ANY PRESSURE WASHER. I AM A FORCE OF NATURE. A MANMADE NATURAL DISASTER. EVERY DAY I MUST REPLACE MY TOILET BECAUSE THE LAST ONE WAS REDUCED TO DUST. NOT STONES. NOT GRAVEL. DUST. A FINE-GRAINED DUST. NO MAN BEFORE ME HAS POSSESSED A WEAPON SUCH AS THIS. DO YOU KNOW WHY I FEEL NO FEAR? BECAUSE TO PISS MY PANTS IN TERROR WOULD MEAN TOTAL ANNIHILATION OF THE HUMAN RACE. MY PEEING REGULARLY IS A PUBLIC FUCKING SERVICE TO HUMANITY, PROPERTY DAMAGE BE DAMNED. HAVE SOME DAMN RESPECT. I AM LIKE THE HULK IF EVERY MUSCLE IN HIS BODY WAS DEVOTED TO HIS BLADDER. THE UNITED NATIONS CLASSIFIES MY PENIS AS A WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION. OIL COMPANIES WOULD KILL FOR A DRILL AS POWERFUL AS ME. THE MILITARY ALREADY HAS. MY PISS WILL KILL GOD ONE DAY. NEVER DOUBT ME AGAIN.

All of this.

that’s why she’s being bullied

saw the absolute funniest plate while my mom and i were window shopping in beverly hills today

cock is one of my favorite plates, not only that but bowls smell amazing,

the most exciting thing about tumblr is when you’re reading an issue post and you have to guess if you’re supposed to agree with it or not before getting to the last comment

Do some of you not form your own opinions? Yikes

oh shit i guess this is a bad post

I know people say “Tumblr in a nutshell” far too often, but I literally have yet to see a more apt description of this piece of shit app

how can someone (me) be so beautiful (me) but also so underrated (me)

this is a fun post because people will say how many they have in the tags then you get to figure out which ones.

jokes on you I’ve got none

I never understood why it’s an F if he gets more than half out of 100? Unless it’s more than 100. If you get more than half the answers right how is it an F?

You must not be from America. Here, grading is fucked up.

Average American Grading Scale: A+- 97-100 A - 94-96 A- - 90-93 B- 80-89 C- 70-79 D- 60-69 F- 59 and under

oh wow that is fucked up

why do they skip E in america

There’s an E in other grading scales?

And in some places in America it goes by a 7 point scale, so it’d be A - 100-93 B - 92-85 C - 84-78 D - 77-70 F - 69 and below

Now you understand why American kid’s feel like there’s no point to school. If you have a 100 question text, and get 79 of them correct, that’s a C. That mean’s your Average Intelligence on this particular subject. And it get’s even worse when you have only like… a 10 question quiz. If you get two wrong? that’s a B. 80 fucking %. Now tell me again why American school’s are easier? 

No wait but whats the grading system in other countries?

ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME?! THATS INSANE!!!!

French system: a grade on 20, 40 on big exams, 10 for short tests. There are no real levels but kids made them: above 15 is great, above 10 is good, above 5 is a bit low and under 5 is bad. We are only judged by our unofficial system we do by ourselves, teachers often announce an average on tests so you know how good you did. And it’s better like this.

If you want to know why the United States has one of the highest student depression/anxiety rates in the world, please examine this post. Americans aren’t stupid, our grading scale is much harder. 

The American grading scale needs to fucking change. Like now.

you guys are like i love milfs yes yum milf milf milf but you don’t like children and you can’t wake up before 10am and you don’t know how to drive automatic and you’ve never gone grocery shopping alone and you’re scared to order your hot chocolate at star bucks so how do you expect to help take care of deborah’s preschool kids in between rounds of that cougar pussy

I have a lot of pet peeves but I think the biggest one is when people say things like “oh it’s such a small town, only 35,000 people” like bitch my town has 200 people, you need to pick a new adjective 

According to Wikipedia, a small town is 1,000-20,000 people. So although you are correct in stating that 35,000 people is not a small town (it is a large town), you are incorrect in thinking that you live in a town. You live in a village. You are a villager.

I…… don’t know what to do with that information……a villager…

all bitches born after 2019 know is mommy, daddy, blankie, and wah

Someone’s gonna find this post again in fifteen years and we’re all going to have to deal with the repercussions