if you’re not paying attention to trees and how they sway in the wind then what are you even doing

did you hear mark zuckerberg renamed facebook to ligma

what’s facebook

what’s facebook

who the hell is mark zuckerberg

someone needs to stop this blue guy

Why do all minotaurs in media have nipple rings. Who's piercing their nipples. and How do I qualify for this job.

auto immune disorders happen when the immune system ignores regulatory factors and begins attacking healthy bodily tissues, due to what scientists refer to as "sheer love of the game"

at planned parenthood and they're playing regular show

"dude if you don't get this abortion benson is gonna fire us"

basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*

*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god

*thunderous slam dunk noise*

* not just rhyme its uhmm all lines have 11 syllabes and it rhymes like ABA BCB CDC etc etc etc for EVER very good

There are no atheists when the toilet water is rising.

i miss being able to take the battery of my phone out and just hold it

is it too much to ask? to be able to hold my phone’s heart in my hand again?

This is how we know cats are sent from heaven

This is how we know that whatever trouble cats cause is deliberate

@squidwardsbastard

finally…scientific proof!!