at planned parenthood and they're playing regular show

"dude if you don't get this abortion benson is gonna fire us"

basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*

*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god

*thunderous slam dunk noise*

* not just rhyme its uhmm all lines have 11 syllabes and it rhymes like ABA BCB CDC etc etc etc for EVER very good

There are no atheists when the toilet water is rising.

i miss being able to take the battery of my phone out and just hold it

is it too much to ask? to be able to hold my phone’s heart in my hand again?

This is how we know cats are sent from heaven

This is how we know that whatever trouble cats cause is deliberate

@squidwardsbastard

finally…scientific proof!!

can you imagine if coronavirus happened in like 2013. this site would be like "ALRIGHT LISTEN UP MOTHERFUCKERS TODAY YOU ARE GOING TO DO A LEARN ABOUT ~SOCIAL DISTANCING~"