a much more fiendish buffet value!

I literally cannot imagine going to a restaurant and NOT getting something lesbian, I can't understand how restaurants even SERVE non-lesbian food. How do other people even EAT.

Another restaurant I want to take you to is the ProShip Cafe in NYC. (Courtesy Tony Zaret for that joke, he's a great absurdist comedian and you should check him out here on tumblr dot gov.) Anyway, we'll split the tender m/f noncon burger served on a pedestal, with the Jodha Akbar Fries. And I'll get some Lesbian Infidelity Rings on the side too of course. Honestly I'm not cut out for fandom I think this actually sounds like The Hunger Games not at all like some actual weirdo fanfic.

I feel terrible but I should just be grateful that I caught it at all. You don't always get chances to make it right.

We'll even go to that kitsch America bar you love so much! We can look at all the pictures of Lincoln, and Stalin. Wait a minute... *checks notes* oh sorry, not Stalin, REAGAN, sorry these white guys all look the same to me. Like stalks of wheat grain they are!

Just think about what you could do to release some tension. I'm sure you'll come up with something.

See I'm environmentally friendly I recycle my jokes.

Girl you got 9 to relax. If you don't want to lose your job, maybe you won't. It won't be the end of the world even if you do lose your job, but there's no guarantee. I'll take you to Adolph's for dinner and then we'll do 9/11 sometime later this month, just for being strong. In the meantime just suck in that sweet sweet air.

Relax, relax. They haven't even said they're laying you off yet. Breathe, empty your mind of all thoughts. You don't need all the answers right this second. In my opinion you should wait until you know for sure before you do anything.

Haven't you loved teaching kids though? I mean idk... it's kinda sexy for a woman to like kids. I mean you have experience, you can probably get another teaching job eventually. And then you get those sweet sweet summers off.

The thing about her appearance is I like strong barbarian women. A SeiBanJin princess with strong features, strong body, porcelain skin and jewel blue eyes is all I've ever wanted in life. My right hand arm woman. My silly rabbit.

You know what's so funny, my dad had a law degree actually, but he never worked in law. Kaitlin also has a law degree, she planned to go to law school from at least the time she was 18, she had internships in law, and now she works for a healthcare startup in New York. I also had this hot ass neighbor (the kinda woman my dad taught me to go for, blonde and all that) She was a hard worker. I'm not saying you can't do it but you're in for a lot of work to be successful in law.

You know what Ms. Farm (real name: Florence Squelch.) I MUST tell you about Her. She is the ultimate prize of womankind. She actually kinda looks like you, you have the same cute monkey ears. Her family is supposedly of German Catholic heritage, but to me she looks Eastern European Ashkenazi Jewish... Although maybe that's from her father, or a coincidence. Her name is Kaitlin and she is orginally from Washington state, before her parent's divorce, where she came here to Utah, and I would meet her at the end of my high school years. It's been over 10 years, hopefully soon I shall see her again.