a much more fiendish buffet value!

elvis died because it wasnt getting enough fiber

ive never fucked up someones pronouns this badly before, sorry

what’s the pink they put in pink lemonade that makes it so poppin

that’s pussy babe!

Is there not a single stock photo of someone drinking pink lemonade that would have been easier than putting a pink cloud over a water bottle

you think i do this shit cause it easy

The “Thunk” will always kill me.

14/10 doing his best

dangerous game i have to play when i wake up where if i want to look at my phone i have to be so careful and discreet otherwise the worlds loudest baby will get up and start yelling at me and smacking my hands until i pet her

smiles at my wicked machinations

Victor Frankenstein after achieving the impossible and building a fucking person from scraps of the dead: Oh god, ew, ew it's ugly! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew! Ew! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew!

who wanna be friends with drawbacks

friends with consequences