Rebrand because someone assumed I was a hp blog again based on my url and I'm tired. Now the crab in a skull
Three Goblin Art

titsay

oozey mess

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Monterey Bay Aquarium

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
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2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
wallacepolsom

blake kathryn
Jules of Nature

Love Begins
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
todays bird

tannertan36
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

Andulka

Janaina Medeiros
DEAR READER
Show & Tell

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@hermit-skrab
Rebrand because someone assumed I was a hp blog again based on my url and I'm tired. Now the crab in a skull

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"if i had a time machine i would go back in time and kill hitler"
I would put sea mines around medieval britain. i would give hannibal barca ww2 era heavy artillery and tell him not to stop till he starts seeing gauls. i would give boudica a fucking abrams. i would appear before jesus like an angel and tell him "you gotta stop. not cause theyll kill you, youre fine with that, surprisingly, but because your fanclub is gonna spend about 1500 years making everything worse for everyone, everywhere." I would take a glock back in time and shoot romulus, shoot remus, and shoot that damn dog too just to be safe. i would be on the side of christopher columbus' ship in a scuba suit planting c4 on that bitch like rainbow six siege. i would be waging a one woman campaign of terror across andalusia to prevent the reconquista. i would be getting way out in front of that shit is what im saying,
yeah i drive the truck that isekais all those lonely 20yo NEETs and bored salarymen. it’s a really hard job. they keep sending me to workplace counselling after each hit. “it’s normal to feel guilt at ending someone’s life,” they say. how do i tell them that’s not what makes me feel guilty? “but it’s okay. he’ll live a better life in another world.” yeah, with 100 girls who could have lived normal lives but got drafted into being in these boring dudes’ harems. how many women’s lives have i ruined. and they don’t even know. they don’t even know
Sounds like you need "His Soul is Marching On to Another World; or, the John Brown Isekai" by CabbagePreacher, an actual fic on AO3 about famed abolitionist martyr John Brown getting isekaied to such a world and going on a rampage abolishing harems.
140 CHAPTERS?
Help us, strong as fuck ice mummy. You're our only hope
Fun fact! The state of Florida made it illegal for counties and municipalities to mandate employees get water and cooling breaks
I refuse to let this be lost in the tags

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I hate that when you’re stressed enough your body just starts falling apart. I think it should realize you’re already stressed and don’t need that and start functioning better actually
when i was a kid i had moments of being so fucking diabolical because i realized at some point the best way to leverage power over my family was to do shit that would make everybody late
our house was in the middle of nowhere surrounded by woods so when i decided i didnt want to wear dresses anymore if we were going to some event & my parents insisted i had to wear a dress i would just go hide in the woods. was so committed i almost made us miss a flight once bc my mom packed a dress in my suitcase
i only promised to stop doing this if my parents got me formal boys clothes to wear which eventually they did. i don't feel bad about resorting to violence bc i asked politely and they said no. proud of 10 yr old me for evil annoying lesbian behavior
5th grade was the last time I wore a dress for school pictures. When my parents attempted to force the issue for 6th grade, I climbed onto our roof and pulled the ladder up after me. My dad borrowed the neighbors ladder. As soon as it touched the roof I pulled it up too. By the time I had 3 ladders they were willing to negotiate, and 2 hours late for work.
[Image ID: a tumblr tag reading "problems that can be avoided if you simply treat your child as a human being with the right to make decisions on what they wear". End ID]
I just love when birds get spherical
unpopular opinion: Vimes is kind of drama queen
Sam “held a burning hot coal until it nearly took the skin off his hand while maintaining perfect calm and eye contact with the asshole in need of intimidation Just Because” Vimes? Sam “sitting on the stoop with a mug of cocoa and a cigar, cautiously aware of every inch of the scene he’s building” Vimes? Sam “could just tear his sleeve to show the mark of the Summoning Dark but instead tears off his whole goddamn shirt” Vimes? A drama queen? Reaching a bit don’t you think
Yep, certainly doesn’t seem to describe Sam “pretends to eat poison as a power move” Vimes. Not Sam “buries an axe in the table in the Rats Chamber” Vimes.
I mean are we really talking about Sam “yes a whole room full of candles with wicks dipped in holy water is the best way to beat this vampire” Vimes, here? Sam “has fought bad guys on top of a speeding train AND a riverboat during a flood” Vimes, really? Definitely Sam “nearly gets shot in the head by a crossbow bolt that shatters his shaving mirror and then uses the bolt to prop up a shard of said mirror to finish shaving” Vimes we’re discussing here?
excuse me?????
vimes did not resign from his post in protest, observe the rest of the watch resign from their posts in protest, recruit them into a militia, sail to the country they were at war with, and attempt to arrest two different armies for disturbing the peace so you could sit here and call him a drama queen, as though drama was some myffic quality bestowed by an accident of birth and not the inherent right of every creatively petty and histrionic citizen of ankh-morpork
vimes is a drama public employee
Discworld Heritage Post
Something something Erid is a high-pressure, no light planet with liquid water and bioluminescent, lure-based, energy efficient ocean creatures could develop; something something Eridians have close to no spatial memory and therefore worse scale? memory; something something Eridians are the apex land predator specifically.
(All that, and I forgot the suit. Ah well. Point is, they deserve a buddy comedy ending.)

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I watched Iron Lung again tonight in the comfort of my home and my dog must've been watching with me cause as soon as bad things started happening to Simon she started crying. In the scene where he ultimately dies she could not stop crying at me. I am now watching him play the Henry Stickman collection so she can see that A.) He's not dead and B.) He's not in distress. Occasionally he'll whine or hum in discontent about something and my dog will look at me and whine to try and get me to fix whatever is distressing Markiplier.
Her genuine reaction to Simon getting Iron Lunged:
she's the opposite of that snake that hates markiplier
Help us, strong as fuck ice mummy. You're our only hope
Grampy you've got to lock the fu--
Oh apologies i was not familiar with your game
explain your gender in 10 words or less without using boring words like “male”, “female”, “nonbinary”, “masculine”, “feminine” or “androgynous”.
go!

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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problematic sudoku solving skills gap
I will never shy away from the word goon. goon is the only way to describe a particular type of henchman, lackey, or thug. look at these guys. they're goons.