everyone’s trying to stump the akinator so i’m gonna try and see if he’ll know that i’m thinking of the little symbol on the front of his turban

i mean this from the bottom of my heart: no one is impressed by your loud ass car. actually we talked about it and we all want you dead.

my dad is very intensely involved a battle with his city’s public administration over a playground they have tried to forcibly remove like five times in the past 20 years and DID remove once in like 2005 but then had to rebuild because my dad was such a pain in their asses and came through with undeniable receipts of the zoning plan from the 60s/the historic/cultural value of the urban planning…. like there’s a woman in the city office who is his arch nemesis. he is literally the daredevil of urban planning

everyone in the tags needs to stop saying they want to fuck my dad.

Lancelot: Egad sire! Look at that. King Arthur: Hm, rare to see a VW Beetle this far north. Not impossible, mind.

Why is there a car in that oddly empty industrial warehouse?

I realize this is a cast iron gate but I’m choosing to believe it’s a magic protection ritual

It IS a magic protection ritual, and it summons an iron gate to protect you from intruders. 

“I cast Iron Gate!”

As a blacksmith I have been called a wizard by several small kids

Alright your Discord avatar and tumblr avatar are locked in a closet for 7 minutes ala 7 Minutes In Heaven. What happens

The Niff has a panic attack because there's an Unauthorized Fucking Thing. The crab is a crab and is generally unfazed