sometimes your distress does indicate you should stop and respect your limitations. at other times it's more of a baby aquatic mammal being introduced to water for the first time thing. Too bad the difference is so hard to tell.

What the “haha millennials can’t even make phone calls” crowd fails to appreciate is that making phone calls is a far more user-hostile and physically uncomfortable experience than it was 15-20 years ago.

The most mundanely dehumanizing experience I’ve had in the last few years was when I called a domino’s to troubleshoot a pizza order and they directed me to a call center in a different state.

Even the hold announcements are worse. “HAVE YOU TRIED USING OUR APP/WEBSITE?” Yes you stupid motherfuckers, there’s no mcfucking options there, give me a live person who actually works for you and isn’t in a call center somewhere in hell being paid pennies a day!!!!

also part of the problem is that a huge percentage of people use their phone as their primary computing device, and many may not necessarily have a laptop at all. that means not only can you not hold it on your shoulder to type on your computer, your computer is also your phone, which you can't use while you're talking! I mean, okay, you can, if you put it on speaker or headphones, but that's kind of annoying since you have to deal with peripherals and/or disturbs the people around you, AND there's a possibility the stupid robot on the phone will ask you to type some shit on your keypad and you can't be on some website at the same time as the phone if you have to do that. it's a sensory nightmare

the ones that ask you to speak verbally to the bot are also a nightmare, as they don't seem to understand you half the time. And many will only give you a certain number of "sorry, could you repeat that" before saying, "we're sorry, we didn't hear what you said. Please use our website, or call back later" and hanging up, sending you back to the very start.

cool hack actually: most of those you can press 1, 2, 3 in the order that the options come up

man sometimes friendship really is just "I saw this and knew it would give you psychic damage. please respond with agony" and then they do. and it's great

I never get tired of this video. The comedic density is off the fucking charts.

Official ominous sign

''what if you regret it'' then you will expirience regret - a normal and unavoidable part of the human expirience.

the more you twist yourself into a pretzel to avoid regret the harder it will hit when it eventually catches up to you.

swifties always going on the "you just hate women" defense like first of all Taylor Swift is not a woman she's an unskippable ad

#if someone shouted something racialized at a food service worker and he pulled swords#if be like ‘yeah that’s fair’

batmans secret special attack is offering all of his enemys henchmen a living wage and guaranteed healthcare

proud victim of the tumblr accent. it's fading out of public consciousness as the tik tok accent takes precedence; a linguistic evolution that makes the tumblr accent 85% funnier to unsuspecting civilians. it's like releasing a disease on a non-inoculated population. coughing baby versus hydrogen bomb.

I once called a colleague's Borzoi a beautiful Gentle Alien, assuming the term had long since become commonplace outside of Tumblr, and discovered when he burst into delighted laughter at the term that it Had Not. I had to explain to him that I'm not a comedy genius, just repeating a niche meme.