my hollanov thoughts

my pronouns are she/her! random thoughts and ideas are welcome!

Also, I have not read the books. I am going off the show and reading LOTS of fanfic. I feel like I have a good read on their characters, but things could be ooc sometimes.

Shane hummed in agreement as he poked at the scrambled eggs on his plate. He was torn because Shane loved it when Ilya cooked for him, but the thought of eating those eggs right now was making him nauseous.

Ilya paused for a moment as he took in Shane's tense movements and hesitant expression. Usually, he was better about catching Shane's shifts in safe foods, but this one got past him somehow.

"Eggs are not friends anymore?"

Shane shook his head with an exasperated yet relieved sigh. "No, I'm sorry. I should have said something before you made breakfast."

"You did not know until now. Is fine, sweetheart," Ilya replied lightly, doing his best to fend off Shane's misplaced guilt. "Give me your plate. I will eat them. You can go find breakfast that sounds good."

"Thanks, baby," Shane said, tone full of gratitude for his husband's easy acceptance. Ilya always managed to soothe his worries about rejecting and wasting food.

After deciding a smoothie was all he could manage this morning, Shane started prepping the various fruits and vegetables while Ilya made quick work of his breakfast.

Ilya then placed both his and Shane's now-empty plates in the dishwasher before wrapping his arms around his husband's waist, happy to watch him build his precise, safe smoothie.

The touch was welcome until Shane stiffened at the feeling of Ilya's lips on his neck, just below his ear. He leaned away slightly so he could turn his head and said, "Sorry, but could you maybe go brush your teeth or grab some gum or something? All I can smell is the eggs."

Ilya tightened his hold on Shane for a moment and let his face fall into an exaggerated pout. "Wow, eggs are my enemy now, too. First, they make my husband starve, and now they stop me from having kisses. Evil little things."

Shane bit back a laugh and rolled his eyes at Ilya's antics. He loved the way his husband could lift his mood in such silly, small ways. "You are so dramatic. I am not starving, and you can have all the kisses you want if you go brush your teeth."

Shane rolled his eyes. "You hate golfing."

"Hmm, this is true," Ilya replied, swiping again for the next option. "Bowling?"

"No, bowling is gross," Shane said with an overdramatic shiver.

Ilya laughed loudly, echoing off the high ceiling of their living room. "Gross? How can bowling be gross?"

Shane sighed, clearly annoyed that he had to explain because he felt it was obvious. "You have to rent shoes that god knows how many people wore before, and who knows if they clean the inside of those communal bowling balls? It's disgusting. I got sick after every bowling party I went to as a kid."

"Ah, that does actually make sense."

"Really?"

"Yes, you get sick after bowling with weak Canadian immune system. Baby Hollander cannot fight off all the little bowling alley germs," Ilya explained with a smirk.

Shane pinched Ilya's side. "Fuck off."

Ilya huffed, rubbing at his side with a pout. "Fine, no bowling germs. What about arcade?"

"I think we would need to rent out an arcade for ourselves to enjoy it. We would just have kids following us around and taking pictures."

"да, you are probably right. Maybe idea for future if we plan," Ilya said, his voice softer as he could sense the anxiety in his husband's answer. "Karaoke?"

"Absolutely not happening."

Ilya threw his phone to the side. "любимый, if you veto every date night idea, we will have nowhere to go. I like our normal restaurant, but would be nice to try something different, yes?"

Shane let out another deep sigh, but this one meant something different. Ilya could hear the shift.

"What is it? Tell me what is wrong, my Shane."

Ilya laid his arm across the couch cushion so he could gently massage Shane's neck, waiting patiently for an answer.

"I know it's date night, but can we just stay home? It's been a long week, and I don't have the energy to be out in public right now. I just want to make dinner together and watch a movie on the couch while we cuddle."

Shane looked down at his lap, waiting for Ilya's answer, until his husband suddenly threw himself over his lap. He let out a quiet oof as his arms instinctively wrapped around Ilya.

"Yes, please. I want to do this too. Date night at home sounds so nice. We should do this more," Ilya replied warmly, tucking his face into Shane's chest.

"Really? You love date night."

Ilya looked up at Shane and tapped a chaste kiss onto his lips. "Yes, and you just planned perfect date night."

"You're sure you don't want to go out?"

"Of course, I would not lie about this. And now we do not have to wait to get home for me to undress you."

"There it is."

---

Shane hummed softly, pressing his toes into Ilya's calf with an affirming touch. "I am just sharing my health app with you. It's attached to my watch."

Ilya lifted his head, face scrunched in confusion as he looked over his shoulder at Shane. "You are trying to make me get healthy app? I told you team physical was good."

"No, it's not for you to join the app. It's the information from my watch, so you can see mine too," Shane explained, holding up his wrist as if Ilya needed a visual of his smart watch to understand.

Ilya was quiet for a moment as he sat up, untangling himself from the blanket wrapped around him and shifting Anya off his legs. "Thank you for sharing with me, but why do I need this?"

Now it was Shane's turn to be quiet, eyes dropping to his lap as the wayward string coming off one of their throw pillows suddenly became very interesting.

"I am not saying I do not want it, but why do you want to share this with me? Do I need to watch your numbers? Was your physical bad? Shane, please-"

"No! No, of course not. I am perfectly healthy. I promise," Shane rushed out, leaning over so he could take Ilya's hand. "It's just..."

Ilya shifted closer, squeezing Shane's hand for reassurance. "You know I will not be mad, Солнышко. I will be more upset if you keep something from me when it is bothering you."

Shane took a deep breath and finally met Ilya's eyes again. "I could tell you were stressed earlier when you got home from your appointment and couldn't find me. You looked a little panicked, maybe, when you woke me up from my nap."

"Shane..."

"I don't want you to feel that way, especially since I know you can't help it. If you had my health app on your phone, you could have seen that I was asleep. You could have seen my heartbeat. I just thought it might help."

Ilya's jaw clenched in that telltale way, trying to hide that he was holding back tears. He brought a hand around the back of Shane's head, pulling him closer to give him an appreciative kiss.

Still seeming to be without words, Ilya leaned back to reach for his phone, bringing Shane with him so he didn't have to lose contact. He unlocked his phone and opened the invitation message to Shane's health info.

"Show me how to use it," Ilya requested quietly, placing his phone in Shane's empty hand. "пожалуйста."

Shane nodded with a shy smile, feeling satisfied with making the right choice. "Of course, baby."

---

Дорогой - darling

Солнышко - sunshine/little sun

Let It Feel Good by sweetbabyshane

Ilya blew a raspberry and shook his head. "So boring, Hollander."

Shane rolled his eyes as he looked over his shoulder at his husband. "You like boring, Rozanov. What about green?"

"Green is basic one. This is why you should just let me pick," Ilya responded, trying to sneak his hand beneath Shane's shirt to rest on the warm skin of his back.

Shane playfully smacked Ilya's hand away with the spatula before closing the lid to the grill. "Considering it's for me, it should be my choice. And green is not the basic one. From what I can tell, the orange and yellow ones are."

"Of course you know that, Mr. Research," Ilya joked, pleased with the knowledge that his husband was so dedicated even to the small things.

"I needed to look up reviews anyway. We already have blue and purple, but there are still so many options to try."

Ilya couldn't resist kissing Shane on the cheek, simply too endeared at the idea of his husband hunched over his laptop as he meticulously read through reviews for sex toys.

Both Shane and Ilya were startled at the sound of Hayden's voice, almost forgetting that they had the Pike couple over for dinner. "Are you two seriously fighting over which Gatorade flavor to buy?"

Ilya let out a cackling laugh while Shane's cheeks flushed as he ducked his head. Shane handed the spatula to Ilya so he could escape the back patio for a moment to go grab something from the kitchen.

“I know, Малыш. I promise, last one.” (baby)

“You said that about the last two.”

“I am a greedy man. You know this. Just one more, I promise.”

Shane sighed and rolled onto his back. “Fine, one more, but this is seriously the last one. I’m exhausted, Ilya.”

Ilya leaned down, pressing a kiss to Shane’s forehead. “Спасибо, Любовь моя.” (thank you, my love)

“Let me see.”

With a pleased grin, Ilya held his phone in front of Shane’s face. He waited patiently as Shane pulled his glasses down from the top of his head and squinted at the screen.

Shane’s eyes trailed across the screen for a quiet minute, before he lifted his finger to point. “You can play squeeze with this e. There’s a double word tile too.”

Ilya’s eyes lit up, stealing a kiss from Shane before he started to place the tiles. “You are genius. I love you. I am finally beating Yuna!”

I made a collection of all my little drabbles and dialogues on AO3. I will keep posting here because I love the community, but I thought it would be nice to have them all in one place too.

Everything is already uploaded except the texting posts - those will probably only stay here. I hate dealing with picture uploads on AO3 😂

My Hollanov OC Children are not on AO3 either because I hope to one day develop a series about them, but we will see if I get the motivation for that.

I also have a bunch of bookmarks on AO3 if you ever need recommendations!

Also, the Russian is according to Google Translate so my apologies if it’s wrong 🫣 Shane’s contact name is beloved, the first text is darling, and the last one is bunny

Some of Ilya's favorite appearances of 'brutally honest Shane' are at the Kingfisher with their team, as well as the Admirals.

"You are mad at me," Ilya said suddenly from the other end of the couch.

Shane looked up with confusion at the sudden outburst. "What? No I’m not."

Ilya sighed and let his head fall back against the arm rest. "You must be. There is no other explanation."

"Why do you say that? Explanation for what?" Shane asked, letting his iPad fall into his lap. He adjusted his glasses a bit as they slipped down his nose.

Ilya crossed his arms and looked at the ceiling to keep his composure. "I have been on the couch with you for over ten minutes, and you do not touch me. You have not even looked at me. You must be mad if you do not want me."

Shane's jaw dropped slightly at the accusation. "Ilya, seriously? I’m not mad. I was focused on reading this contract for mom."

"No, is fine. I understand. You are tired of me now. Honeymoon is over," Ilya replied with another sigh, letting his head loll to the side. His voice had taken on that signature whine he only used when he was in a certain attention-seeking mood.

"Oh my god, you are ridiculous," Shane said with a huff. He knew what was going on now, and he had to resist laughing at the dramatics.

Ilya finally looked at Shane, sporting a pitiful look as if to say 'poor me' with his eyes. "First, my husband won’t touch me. Now, he says mean things about me."

"Ilya, come on. You know I didn't do it on purpose. I just get concentrated on things," Shane offered, playing into Ilya's little scene now.

"Yes, I know, but you usually still will touch me. At least acknowledge I am here," Ilya responded, sniffing at the end with a little pout on his lips.

Shane set his iPad aside and patted the couch beside him with an endeared smile on his face. He would never admit it, but Shane loved these little moments where Ilya indirectly asked for what he wanted. If a silly exchange was necessary to end up cuddling on the couch sometimes, Shane would never tell him to stop.

"You’re right. I’m sorry. I really was just focused on reading. It’s a lot of legal stuff so I had to concentrate. Come here."

Ilya let out a pleased hum and shuffled over to drape himself across Shane’s chest. His head quickly nuzzled into his preferred spot, and Ilya only had to wait a few seconds for Shane's hand to start running through his hair.

"Yes, much better. My husband loves me again."

Shane huffed a laugh before dropping a kiss on Ilya's head. "I never stopped, you big baby."

"Yours," Ilya mumbled into Shane's neck.

"Hmm?"

Ilya lifted his head just enough to kiss Shane's chin, and he repeated himself. "Your big baby."

Something that takes getting used to is that Shane goes nonverbal when he is high. Ilya knows how it goes now, but it still freaks people out when he partakes at team gatherings. Shane just leans into Ilya’s side, holds his hand, sometimes even sits with his eyes closed, and says nothing. Truly utters zero words once it hits.

Ilya will answer for him because he can almost always pick up on Shane’s nonverbal cues. Some of the guys and the WAGs will offer Shane food or drinks, but Ilya answers for him. The only one Shane will interact with aside from Ilya is Lisa Hayes, who gets him to nod in response to her questions and drink water.

"Hey, if I have notes for the team, do you want a list or can I just tell you?"

"..."

"Ilya? Did you hear me?"

"Yes, I hear you, мой любимый, but I am confused."

"Confused? I know it's only been a week so far, but I promise the list isn't huge. It's just little things I noticed."

"I am just wondering why you would give me a list."

"Oh shit, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to overstep, Ilya. I'm sure you noticed these things too. You are a great captain. I shouldn't-"

"Hey, hey, Shane, slow down. I am not upset that you notice things. You have best hockey brain, yes? This is good for our team."

"Okay, I mean, thank you, but what are you confused about then?"

"It is just...why are you making list for me? I thought you were getting comfortable with everyone."

"I am, I promise. They have all been great."

"Yes, so you will tell them these things yourself? I think they will be very excited to learn from you."

"But I can't..."

"What? Why not? You are talking fine right now."

"No, Ilya, what? I'm not the captain. You are."

"Yes, this is true. I am captain, but you are Shane Hollander. You are probably the most trusted veteran player in whole entire league for this stuff. Everyone wants to play like you."

"Even if that's true-"

"It is."

"Fine, but I still am not the captain. I can't just make corrections and give notes or ideas."

"Why the fuck not? Your opinions will matter most to me. You are always right on the ice. Was very annoying to play against you, but now, you are on my side. We would be stupid to not listen."

"Is this an Ottawa thing?"

"What? Respecting you? I think it is a thing everywhere except Montreal."

"Shut up. I meant the talking thing. Anyone on the team can just say something?"

"Of course! This is a Montreal thing, yes?"

"I guess I thought it was a professional hockey thing."

"So, what happened in Montreal? Only coach and captains can talk?"

"I mean, only me and Theriault could give notes or run drills or explain film."

"Not even Pike? He wears A for you?"

"No, captain and coach only. Hayden could only do it if I wasn't there, which never really happened."

"That is very tiring for you. Even more work on your shoulders than you already had to deal with."

"Yeah, it was, but that's just how it worked. I thought it was like that everywhere. I didn't know any different."

"Well, you can learn different now because everyone on our team can speak up. You will never have to carry everything alone again."

"That sounds nice."

"So, practice on Monday, you will give your notes, yes? I will tell Weibe you have thoughts if it makes you feel better."

"Oh, um, yeah, that would actually help a lot."

"Okay, good, I will text him. You have notes for everyone? We can make time in morning meeting before ice time."

"Are you sure? I don't want-"

"Shane, enough, please. Everyone will want to know what you think. You see things other people do not. You are also new perspective. It is good for me to hear what I have maybe been missing."

"I'm sure you have noticed all the things on my list."

"Maybe, but you should also be the one to share. You see game in different ways than I do. You see everything."

"I don't know about that, but thank you."

"You do. You were a very good captain. Montreal did not appreciate you."

"...thanks, baby."