Am Puppy

washing dishes is evil because you go "oh fuck there's so many dishes this is gonna take foreverrr" and then you enter the dish abyss and emerge with your abdomen somehow covered in water and your hands all wrinky and then you look at the clock and what felt like half an hour was actually 10 minutes

well now i gotta look at sapphic werewolves

i have to say something about sapphic werewolves but it is inappropriate for main

ehem. werewolf girl with canine cock knotting another girl’s cunt. in a lesbian way. that is the most beautiful image really.

I took my little brother (autistic, mostly non verbal) out and he was using his voice keyboard to tell me something, and this little boy (maybe 4 or 5?) heard him and asked me "Is he a robot??" I tried to explain to him that no, he isn't a robot, he just communicates differently, but my darling brother was in the background max volume "I am robot I am robot I am robot I am robot"

i turn my clamification dial to 100% & the capital of the netherlands becomes clamsterdam. i turn it to 200% & it becomes clamsterclam

I think when you correctly identify a trauma that is the base of a woe of yours it should just disappear. It should be like "aaahh. you got me" and vanish and leave 100 dollars behind

I mean it certainly gives me a similar euphoria to receiving 100 dollars (which, due to inflation, is just as happy as I was getting 10 dollars as a kid)

Lady in drive through had a bearded dragon sitting on her boobs and she held it up and let me pet it. killing myself canceled

Lets dissect uncle to find his wish gland

Where do you think the comma goes

what the fuck was i on last night

Peaceful, apparently

there should be an emoji that’s a person with their hands behind their back silently observing a situation