HCRM Fan Nonsense

“You're leaving L.A.?”

We talked about this, remember? Tommy thought, but he remained silent. They used to have plans, dreams, ideas. They had talked about a life outside the stifling metropolis, a fresh start beyond the 118. Moving on and starting over together, a clean slate. It would be a fresh start—for Tommy, at least. Evan had already moved on anyway.

“Heading east,” he said. “There's an opening for pilots in Cleveland.”

“Cleveland?”

Maybe Tommy was just imagining it, but Evan sounded like he was about to stutter, almost flustered. As if more than 2,000 miles suddenly sounded like an insurmountable distance. A distance that underscored the end of something that began beautifully and turned into a disaster.

“You're not driving your truck all the way to Cleveland, are you?”

“Sold it,” Tommy replied. Stubbornly, he stared at the road ahead of him. Another memory that was gone now. “I’m on my way to the airport. My house is being sublet for a couple of months.”

Another pause, filled with a silence that somehow felt heavy with meaning, with things left unsaid. If only he would say something. If only he would say, “Don’t go. Stay.”

But why would Evan do that? He didn’t owe Tommy anything, not even a goodbye.

“Thanks for telling me,” is what Evan finally said softly. “I hope that works out for you.”

Another pause. Tommy had suspected, no, he had known that it would hurt. He could tell himself a hundred times that the pain was normal, that it would go away; yet it still pierced his heart.

“I have to go. Be safe, Tommy.”

“You, too, Evan,” Tommy said into the ensuing silence.

During the flight, Tommy didn't look out the window. L.A. wasn't a city he would miss—even if he wasn't sure if Cleveland was a place he was looking forward to going to. Ever since that phone call with Evan, he'd had so many mixed feelings about things he'd believed, deep down, he'd long since come to terms with. It therefore struck him as a bad omen when the pilot suddenly announced that the plane had to land in Pittsburgh due to bad weather. A groan seemed to ripple through the entire plane, and Tommy was about to join in, even though he could see dark clouds approaching on the horizon. From a pilot's perspective, it was the safe choice. As a passenger, it was just a hassle.

There were no more flights to Cleveland that day, and Tommy wasted an hour getting a rental car. As he crossed the Allegheny River on one of Pittsburgh’s many bridges in the evening sun, noticing how different the landscape was, Tommy was almost content with everything. Cleveland was still more than two hours away, but at least he was now behind the wheel; it made him feel like he was actually making progress. At least until he got caught in rush hour traffic.

Shortly before the end of Veterans Bridge, a construction site caused a traffic bottleneck. A wall of red taillights loomed ahead of Tommy as the vehicles in front of him slowed down more and more. As he crept forward, tapping the gas pedal like a hesitant beginning driver, he saw repair work being done on the bridge railing to his right. There was a gaping hole in it, provisionally cordoned off with caution tape. One of the workers nearby was talking on a cell phone, gesturing wildly. A little further ahead, a driver honked his horn, causing Tommy to think, as if that had ever helped. Traffic came to a standstill. The workers seemed to be pacing back and forth across the bridge, accompanied by increasingly frequent honking. One driver yelled out the window, “What’s taking so long here?” Basically, it was hardly any different from L.A., Tommy thought, amused.

The honking grew louder, but now it was coming from behind him. The sounds of the city, rising up behind the bridge, mingled with the screech of tires and a metallic grinding. For a split second, Tommy couldn't understand why he was hearing a vehicle when the traffic had come to a standstill. Then, a powerful impact shook his rental car. It was pushed forward and to the side. Horrified, Tommy stared at his hands, uselessly clenched around the steering wheel. After that, everything happened very quickly—the last thing he saw was the river drawing ever closer, and the last thing he thought was…

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

I'm a puppy, Jack thought. A puppy following a bone.

The worst part was that Robby's shift was over. But the guy didn't just go home like any normal person would—oh no. With his doe-like eyes, he explained to Jack with sweeping gestures why he had to pay special attention to this or that case. Jack explained to Robby, while following him around, that he triaged patients in his ER according to his own system. Robby stopped.

“Your system. What do you mean, your system?”

“Your shift is over,” Jack replied stubbornly. “And you know exactly what I mean.”

“This isn't a war zone.”

“Oh, really?” Jack put his hands on his hips, nodding toward the overflowing waiting area. “Yesterday, two guys were fighting with chairs.”

Robby ran his hand over his eyes. He looked tired, but when didn't he?

“I'm not in the mood for games right now,” he said.

“Yeah, because you should get some sleep,” Jack replied.

Robby started moving again, and he had no choice but to follow him once more. Jack's prosthetic leg made a small, almost protesting sound. It hated this kind of cold start just as much as he did.

Robby looked over his shoulder and twisted his mouth into a sort of mocking smile.

"Sleep, yeah, right. A concept you know so much about.”

“Hey!”

Robby stopped abruptly again, and Jack almost ran into him.

“That woman over there,” said Robby, pointing toward the exam room, where a nurse was checking the vital signs of a very old patient on the exam table. “99 years old, a bubbe from my neighborhood. She's absolutely terrified of dying in the hospital because she doesn't trust us to get everything right.”

Jack said nothing. It was easy to understand that Robby’s heart melted at the sight of a Jewish woman close to death. It was just as clear that a man like Robby, who knew about their rituals and customs, gave her a sense of stability.

“All right,” he said, perhaps because Robby's soft heart had touched his own, “So you want me to keep an eye on her and assure her that we'll notify her chevra kadisha.”

Robby raised his eyebrows. “First of all, how do you even know that word? Second, your pronunciation is, well, so-so, and third, I've already assured her of that, of course.”

He glanced into the room again. The old woman, now on oxygen, noticed him and waved a wrinkled hand at him.

“I told her that a handsome, very nice doctor would take very good care of her.”

Now it was Jack's turn to look surprised. His ears started to burn. Somewhat embarrassed, he began to rub them until he realized that this only made it even more obvious.

“Accident on Veterans Bridge,” the night nurse called out, saving Jack. “Multi-vehicle pileup—casualties should be here in a minute.”

Jack and Robby turned around and started moving at the same time. Robby was, of course, a little faster.

“Hey, your shift's over!” 

“Keep up,” Robby called over his shoulder.

The first stretcher was wheeled in, and Jack immediately went into emergency mode. He was wide awake, pumped full of adrenaline, eager to save lives. To make a difference. Robby, however, was already at the first stretcher, that man just couldn't help himself. Jack pushed the obvious parallel aside and turned his attention to the next case.

“What have we here?”

“Pushed off the bridge by a truck that went out of control,” replied the paramedic, still moving the stretcher. “Forty-year-old male, rescued from the river. Brief submersion, possible aspiration.”

“That explains the puddles from the entrance up to here,” said a nurse dryly, running alongside Jack now.

“Not interested in what didn’t happen,” Jack said, scanning the patient with his eyes.

The paramedic grinned. “Cuts, bruises, suspected lower-leg fracture, possible concussion. He briefly regained consciousness in the ambulance and said, I quote, ‚Shit.’”

“Reasonable, given the circumstances,” Jack replied. “What else?”

“Just some minor stuff. Apparently the truck driver got beaten up, and a couple of the drivers involved in the rear-end collision are complaining of neck pain.”

“The driver got beaten up?” Robby chimed in as he took a closer look at his own patient. “That explains the broken jaw—this must be our truck driver. Well, taking the law into my own hands isn't my thing, but seems you’ve gotten off easy, sir.”

“Fucking bullshit,” Robby’s patient yelled, then cursed as he clutched his jaw.

The police arrived shortly after the paramedics. Jack saw Robby’s face harden. He called over a nurse and whispered something to her, after which the patient was quickly wheeled away. Robby certainly didn’t have much sympathy for a guy who’d gone berserk during rush hour, but he objected to patients being restrained to their beds while they were still being treated.

“Well, looks like your patient is more interesting than mine,” he said as he strolled over to Jack.

"Yeah, sure. There'll be a few more cuts and whiplash injuries, Robby. So if you really want to stay…”

Robby grimaced. After glancing at Jack's patient, he said, “North 3 is free.”

The nurse looked at Jack. Jack looked at Robby.

“End of shift, Mike,” Jack emphasized.

Robby raised his hands. “Maybe people just like being around you, Jack. Ever thought about that?”

Jack watched him go, shaking his head.

In the examination room, he went through his usual routine. Robby would probably have a thing or two to say about it—first, he had different routines, and second, he just saw things differently. As he sanitized his hands and queried stats, Jack wondered if he was really too stuck in his military triage mindset. On the other hand, that was just his way, and everyone who worked with him was used to it. It was only Robby who took issue with it—surprisingly, without realizing that he himself bent the rules often enough.

“His airways are clear,” someone said.

“For now,” Jack replied, eyeing the intubation kit. “Let's see if we can wake him up first.”

He began rubbing the man's sternum. His shirt was splattered with blood, and underneath there was a nasty cut, but nothing serious. The movement made the patient flinch, and Jack grinned with satisfaction.

“Well, hello,” he said as the man's eyelids fluttered. He turned to Mateo. “Do we have—”

“Thomas Kinard, from Los Angeles,” Mateo replied, quickly flipping through the patient’s wallet. “And here's... a pilot's license, I think.”

Jack took a look at it. „Yep, that's a helicopter license. Well, Mr. Kinard—it's great to see you opening your eyes—a chopper would have been the better choice today.”

“’M starting to think the same,” his patient croaked, then coughed.

“Take it easy,” Jack said. “In any case, you picked a bad day for sightseeing. You're at the Pittsburgh Trauma Medical Center, and—wait a minute—yes, that lower leg is definitely broken.”

The patient blinked. “What a great day. Wait—” He tried to push himself up on his elbows.

“Whoa! Easy there.”

Jack reached for him, preventing the patient from sitting up.

“It's just... you look very familiar to me.”

“Yeah, I look just like the doctor next door,” Jack joked. The patient suddenly closed his eyes. “Aaaand he's gone again.”

“Oxygen?” Mateo asked, glancing at the readings.

Jack scratched his chin. “He seems like a tough guy, but yeah. Page neuro, basic care for the cuts, then off to X-ray.”

He was already taking off his gloves when Mateo asked with interest, “Why do you think you looked familiar to him?”

Jack shrugged.

“Maybe he was your high school crush, or you were his,” someone said.

Jack turned around. Standing in the doorway was, of course, Robby, still in scrubs.

“Haven't changed yet? Well, I guess that's because of your lack of a love life,” Jack replied pointedly. “Just don't know why you're so interested in mine.”

“Still waters, Jack, still waters…” Robby said, with a strange look on his face.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

When Tommy opened his eyes, his head was pounding, and for a full minute, he didn't know where he was. He just stared dazedly at the ceiling, which kept blurring in and out of focus, and finally realized he was in the hospital. Well, the beeping of a monitor somewhere behind him was, of course, a clear indication of that.

What a day. Slowly but surely, his memory returned. The bridge, the traffic jam. The construction workers. He remembered feeling a jolt that had pushed him against the steering wheel. And then, the clear, green-blue water, which suddenly seemed to be getting closer and closer… After that, he couldn't really remember anything else. That wasn't unusual, though, with a concussion—and Tommy had already diagnosed himself with one. He looked down at himself and let out a deep sigh. Great. It sure looked like he'd broken his leg. He had to let his new employer know. They certainly wouldn't be thrilled if Tommy didn't start his job for another few weeks…

Tommy stared at the nurse call button next to his left hand and debated with himself whether he should ring it. He decided against it. Reality could stay outside for a little while longer; things had already gone badly enough. He’d put his old life behind him and started his new one under rather difficult circumstances.

Not a minute later, a nurse appeared in the doorway, as if she had sensed what he was thinking. In reality, his vital signs were simply being monitored frequently—he knew that.

“Well, looks like someone slept in,” she said cheerfully. “Any pain?”

“Haven’t made up my mind yet,” Tommy said grumpily. “Can I have my phone? I really need to call someone.”

“Oh, don't worry about it,” the nurse replied, glancing over his vitals. “I'll let the doctor know, and in the meantime—someone's been waiting for you for a few hours now. He's a very persistent young man; you don't need to call him anymore. Just a few minutes, okay?”

Tommy blinked in confusion, but before he could say anything, she was already out the door. Outside, he heard her say once more, “Just a few minutes.”

Suddenly, Evan was standing in the doorway.

Tommy blinked again. No, it definitely wasn't his imagination. He was really standing there, with his hair all tousled and his T-shirt all rumpled. As if he'd actually been waiting for hours. Which didn't make any sense, did it?

“Is today Tuesday?” Tommy asked, as if it mattered at all.

“Wednesday,” said Evan with a crooked smile. “You've been here for a while now.”

That made sense, even given Tommy's confused state. What didn’t make sense though, was… Evan.

“I drove through Pittsburgh,” Tommy said slowly. “Because my flight couldn't land in Cleveland.”

“Oh, that's why.”

Evan was still standing there, as if he couldn't—or wouldn't—decide whether to come in.

“But that's a five-hour flight,” Tommy added.

Evan didn't say anything. He stood there, his long legs propped against the doorframe, and looked at him as if he wanted Tommy to draw his own conclusions. Then, finally, it clicked.

“You're my emergency contact.”

Evan smiled, then quickly looked down at the floor, as if that were some kind of telltale emotional reaction.

“Still, you mean,” he said. “I’m still your emergency contact. Yeah, I was pretty surprised. A-and I’m glad you’re somewhat okay.”

Tommy groaned, rubbing his forehead. “Oh, damn, I'm sorry. I was so busy with the move that I simply forgot... Didn't they tell you that it wasn't that kind of an emergency?”

For a moment, Evan looked almost shocked. Finally, he pushed himself away from the door and stepped into the room, grabbed a chair, and sat down.

“Oh, it was definitely that kind of emergency,” he said sharply.

“You didn't have to come,” Tommy replied, embarrassed.

“I didn't,” Evan replied, his tone now much gentler. "But who else was supposed to come, Tommy?”

“That's not what I mean.”

Evan took a deep breath and shook his head. “No, probably not. But you were in an accident, they called me, and I think you needed a friend, Tommy. At least let me do that.”

Tommy remained quiet, staring at the ceiling above him. That was, of course, totally Evan. Something he would do without hesitation, just as he would rush into a burning building if anyone were still inside, never thinking twice. It felt like a debt Tommy could never repay, and he knew that if he’d said that, Evan would point out exactly how he already had. And if he were to say, “You’d do that for me, too,” then he’d be absolutely right.

After a while, Evan asked, “How are you feeling? The doctor wouldn't tell me anything, of course, but the nurse said your leg is broken.”

“The doctor? Graying hair, stubble? Looks kind of familiar to me, I just can't place him—”

“Hm? No, I mean your doctor, a young blonde woman.” Evan leaned forward. “Listen, I'm sure they will show up any minute now, and, uh, I guess you need some rest. But…”

The pause seemed heavy with meaning. Tommy was too confused to say anything in response. For a moment, he forgot the pain and the helplessness, even the shame he had felt when Evan walked in. Evan, who had immediately hopped on a plane after receiving a single phone call to check on his ex-boyfriend. Who had mixed feelings about it, but definitely had feelings.

“But?” he asked gently. He knew there was a but. But he wasn't prepared for it.

“I'm angry,” Evan said.

Tommy’s jaw dropped. “Is that because I didn't tell you I was leaving town until I—”

“Until you were already in the car, yeah,” Evan replied. “That, too.”

He grimaced; his eyes darted around the room as if he were on the verge of speaking an uncomfortable truth but didn't know how.

“And because you just casually mentioned it to me on the phone instead of telling me in person. A-and… because you didn't give me a chance to tell you to stay.”

“That’s what makes you angry?” Tommy asked, dumbfounded.

Evan stood up, as if his legs had grown restless all of a sudden, and began pacing back and forth. His legs were restless, just like his mind, and Tommy knew it. Just another one of those endearing quirks. He knew quite a few of them and had always wanted to explore even more of them.

“I'm making myself angry,” Evan said.

Suddenly, he slumped back into the chair, as if someone had suddenly let the air out of him like an old tire.

“Because I never called when I should have. And when I did, you came for the wrong reasons. I’ve made mistakes, a lot of them. And I’m good at saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.”

Tommy gave a lopsided smile. “Guess I was good at that, too.”

Evan looked at him, and the mixture of pain and hope in his eyes hurt more than Tommy's injuries.

“This is probably the wrong time, too,” Evan said. “But at least you can't run away. Tommy... do you think we could make it work this time?”

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Jack didn't even have to turn around; he already knew who was just appearing behind him, stopping at the window to the ICU.

“I've been looking for you,” said Robby.

“I'm off for the day. And you shouldn't be working several days in a row all the time, Mike.”

“Look who’s talking.”

Jack sighed and turned to Robby. “Why were you looking for me?”

“Wanted you to talk me through the nightshift before I start,” Robby replied absently, looking through the window. “I wouldn't have thought you'd be hanging around here. Since when have you been visiting patients?”

“That's the guy who fell off the bridge,” Jack said, pointing inside the ICU. “He said I looked familiar. I thought it was because of the concussion, but I couldn't get it out of my head.”

Robby tilted his head and looked at him expectantly. Jack was sure the man didn't really have time for that. Robby was the star of the day shift, the center of attention wherever he went. There was no reason to look for Jack. None, except perhaps to escape the madness in the emergency room for a moment.

Jack shrugged. “He might have been in my unit. In Afghanistan.”

Robby's face crumpled into a sympathetic expression.

“Not the mission where the explosion happened,” Jack quickly added. “Trust me, I haven't forgotten a single face.”

“Hmm,” Robby hummed. “You were a field medic then and his doctor now. People remember a face that leans over them in times of trouble.”

“Poetic. Yeah. Well.” Jack cleared his throat, looking a little embarrassed. “I didn't know, though, that he—”

Robby followed his gaze and raised his eyebrows. “That his boyfriend?” he remarked. “Oh, I see. You didn't know that he... and you haven't known for very long yourself that you…”

Jack stared at him and burst out laughing. A nurse glanced at him, but he didn't pay any attention.

“Look at us,” he finally said, shifting his weight to his other leg. “We're doctors, and we can't bring ourselves to say it.”

“Sexuality is just a sensitive topic,” Robby interjected.

“Maybe for you. That 99-year-old patient we saw the other day—surely she has a granddaughter she could set you up with?”

His grin faltered as Robby remained serious.

“Have you ever wished you could tell someone a secret, only to have them beat you to it?”

“My preferences are no secret, Mike. It's just something I didn't realize until much later.”

“Wasn't talking about you,” Robby mumbled.

Jack stared at him, speechless. He gulped, as if what seemed to lie behind Robby's words had caused a lump in his throat. And maybe he wasn't ready to swallow it just yet.

“That guy is no tourist,” he suddenly said, pointing back toward the ICU. “According to the nurse, he was awake for a short while and told her half his life story—which he probably doesn't remember. Maybe for the best. Anyway, I guess it was about a fresh start, and I didn't quite get how much he misses his boyfriend, who left him—or vice versa.”

“But that's his boyfriend over there, isn't it?” Robby asked, confused.

“Obviously,” Jack grinned.

By now, the two men in the ICU were kissing, and quite passionately at that. He almost felt sorry when he saw the ward doctor rounding the corner, about to interrupt them.

“Maybe it was just a misunderstanding,” Robby mused. “What drove them apart, I mean. Seems pretty obvious they belong together.”

“Misunderstandings drive many people apart,” said Jack.

“Or keep them from getting together,” said Robby.

Jack felt his ears turning red again. He scratched his head and asked, “What are you actually trying to tell me here, huh?”

“You're an idiot, Jack,” Robby replied affectionately.

Jack didn't know what to say to that. It was probably true.

They stood there like that for a while, watching the two men in the room. Finally, Jack turned to Robby.

“Maybe we should have a beer again, sometime. When we're both free, I mean.”

“And catch up,” Robby added.

“Good idea.”

“Yeah.”

“Go to work, Mike.”

“Go home, Jack.”

In secret, he’d spent hours studying it. As a firefighter, with basic EMT knowledge, he had a general understanding of how it all worked - he’d answered a call or two where gentlemen were stuck in less than ideal situations, if you get what he means - and of course he knew what the prostate was.

But he didn’t know. Not really. 

So he watched videos. Read articles and perused forums and even explored the hellscape known as Reddit. All to prepare for this eventuality.

“Tommy.” Buck breathed out his name like it was a prayer. “Tommy. Tommy. Tommy.” Each exhalation of the man’s name was more desperate, oozing with need and desire.

“Evan.” Tommy’s husky voice felt like a cool breeze on a hot day, lips pressing once into his forehead, then leaving a trail of fire down his face as he pressed more and more kisses into Buck’s skin. Those big hands shifted, massaging at his hips before inching back slowly until they cupped Buck’s ass, squeezing hard. Possessively.

Buck’s breath hitched, hips canting forward in response. The heat in his cheeks could’ve made him spontaneously combust.

Tommy’s hands snaked under Buck’s shirt, having pulled it free from his half assed attempt at tucking it in. Callouses rasped against Buck’s unblemished skin, and a chill ran up his spine, a hint of pleasure making him want to curl his toes. Almost like a puppet on strings, Buck pushed his fingers into Tommy’s hair and pulled Tommy’s face to his neck, head drooping to the side in a silent demand for more.

The pilot obliged, suctioning his lips to the spot just below Buck’s ear, sucking until Buck gasped; he knew what he’d find when he next looked in the mirror and it made his cock harden.

The feel of a grin against him.

“Mmm. You like it when I’m possessive.” Tommy purred, licking a stripe up Buck’s neck from the new love bite to his earlobe, which was quickly taken between blunt, straight teeth and nibbled at until Buck’s knees almost buckled. “Which is good because,” Tommy’s breath was hot as he whispered in a hiss, “I like possessing you.”

Buck moaned, loud, and he grabbed Tommy roughly by the face to pull him back for another kiss, no longer gentle or sweet. It was demanding; biting; salacious in every sense of the word. Buck fumbled for the buttons of Tommy’s black dress shirt, the one he always wore because he knew it drove Buck absolutely wild - seeing the small patch of greying chest hair that peeked out from the unbuttoned top two buttons made Buck feral.

Through their kiss Tommy chuckled, placing his hands atop Buck to help him get Tommy out of the shirt faster. Once the last one was undone, and his shirt had officially been shucked, Tommy reached out to undo Buck’s, breaking the kiss so that he could work the small inconveniences as quickly as possible. All the while Tommy began herding Buck backwards, using his knee to jab Buck in a certain direction until the back of Buck’s legs hit the bed and he fell with a soft plop on his ass.

Tommy had gotten Buck’s shirt undone and pulled it off his shoulders, tossing it into the growing pile behind him. Buck didn’t wait. He grabbed the button of Tommy’s ass hugging jeans - Buck couldn’t stop staring when his boyfriend wore them - and yanked them open, exposing the pair of hunter green boxer briefs with the thick black Calving Kline band.

Buck’s mouth watered and he pushed his face forward, shoving his nose into the bulge waiting for him there.Inhaling sharply, pleasure rolled down his body like an ocean wave crashing against the shore - violent and beautiful.

Eyes closing, he opened wide and began to mouth at the fabric, feeling the hardness beneath. It was an intoxicating drug it was - the smell of musk, and man, and most of all… of Tommy. The lightly scented lavender soap he claimed to only be using to get rid of it - it had been a gift from Jee after all - but that Buck knew he secretly loved, and the generic scent of Irish Spring Rain shampoo.

Tommy grunted, large fingers carding through Buck’s wild curls, not pushing or pulling, simply letting Buck do as he pleased. So the younger man did. He mouthed along Tommy’s cock, still hidden, until he found the head, and without hesitation took it into his mouth. Buck laved at the crown until the fabric of the boxers was soaked through.

Buck relished in this action. He never knew that he could enjoy sucking a man off until Tommy, and he didn’t want to ever know if he would enjoy it as much with any other man. Right now he was in heaven, hands wrapped around Tommy’s tree trunk thighs to keep him as near as physically possible

Though Tommy was already hard by the time Buck had sucked his cock head into his mouth, Buck felt him harden even more. When he opened his eyes to glance at Tommy’s face through his lashes, his boyfriend was staring down at him with a feral look in his eyes - his teeth digging deep into his bottom lips, like he was trying to repress his voice.

“Shit, Evan.” Tommy muttered, hips jerking when Buck redoubled his efforts. “That feels so good.” Buck hummed in approval which only made Tommy jerk harder. Oh yes, Tommy enjoyed that sensation.

Pulling away for only a second, mumbling mostly to himself, “this isn’t enough,” Buck focused back on the task at hand and grabbed the waistband of Tommy’s boxer briefs and yanked them down, taking Tommy’s jeans with. Tommy’s cock sprang free - long, and slim, and dark purple with desire. The tip was damp, not quite yet leaking precum, but that wouldn’t be true for long.

Licking his lips Buck dove back in, taking Tommy’s erection all the way to the back of his throat, working it like he’d been doing this all of his life and not for just a little over a month. This time Tommy couldn’t hold back his slight moan of pleasure, blunt fingernails scrabbling at Buck’s scalp, surely leaving little crescent marks in his tan skin. “So good, Evan. So damn good.”

Using the tip of his tongue Buck traced up the length of it to the slit in the crown where he pushed in slightly, lighting up the nerves like the fourth of July before working down again. Now, Buck wasn’t going to lie and say he loved the taste of the salty skin, nor would he ever say that giving a blow job was his favorite part of sex, but he loved doing this for Tommy. Why? 

Because Tommy kept giving him the world, showing up for him even when Buck was being a brat, or overly dramatic, and especially when he just needed someone to be in his corner. That alone guaranteed that Buck would do this every day for the rest of their lives even if he didn’t exactly enjoy it.

The nerves were disappearing as he continued to work Tommy over, getting to the base and sucking against his balls, once again using just the tip of his tongue to tease the sensitive skin where the shaft met them. Buck put one hand against Tommy’s lower stomach, basking in the feeling of the short, coarse hair that was Tommy’s treasure trail, fingers dragging through it.

One moment Buck was sitting and the next he was on his back staring up into Tommy’s blue grey eyes, pupils fully dilated. Buck couldn’t help his shit eating grin. “What’s up?” He asked cheekily, licking the salt of sweat from his lips, still tasting the slight tang of precum.

“You drive me crazy, Evan.” Tommy replied, hands working Buck’s own jeans open. “You’re so damn beautiful and you suck cock like a dream. You’re sure you’ve never done it before me?”

Buck looked away like he was considering it, “Hmmm. Nope. I mean, I did a lot of stupid things when I was younger, so who really knows-” The words barely had a chance to leave his mouth before Tommy growled and captured his lips in a bruising kiss, even as he worked Buck out of his damn pants. Buck’s laugh turned into a whimper when a hand wrapped around his own throbbing cock - so big it engulfed the entirety of it, and Buck wasn’t exactly small.

Practiced fingers stroked him slowly, grip firm and callouses causing sensitive skin to catch with each pass, edging on this side of painful. Buck groaned, hips arching slightly off the bed as he writhed, aching for more, unable to voice so.

Tommy had his mouth captured, plundering it with his tongue, licking along the seam of his lips to gain entrance and once inside, wrestling Buck’s tongue in some kind of strange mating ritual.

Unable to think, Buck let Tommy have total control, moving as he moved, allowing Tommy to guide him however he pleased. Buck wrapped his arms around Tommy’s neck, loosely, holding him in place until neither of them could spare a single breath. Breaking away, Tommy buried his nose in the crook of Buck’s neck as he moved his hands in circles over the tip of Buck’s weeping erection, the slick of precum easing the glide. Then Tommy made an “okay” sign with his pointer finger and thumb, fitting it like a cock ring around Buck, and squeezed his way down inch by inch, the sensation agonizing pleasure.

When Tommy reached the root, his hand paused and his breathing hitched, some hesitation in his otherwise confident demeanor. Moving slowly, he inched past Buck’s sack, dragging a fingernail along the delineation, and then kept moving down. Slowly. Slowly. Past Buck’s perineum, sliding between his cheeks.

Buck’s own breath stuttered and his eyes flew open, heart beginning to beat more and more wildly in his chest. Tommy didn’t breach him, not even a little bit, but he pressed the pad of his exploring fingers against the tight furl.

It was time. Buck wanted this. But no amount of research could truly prepare him for it, and he’d been too bashful to try any toys out on himself, so this really was uncharted territory for him. Tommy knew it, though. He circled Buck’s hole quietly, contemplatively, as his eyes met Buck’s questioningly. In a hushed voice Tommy breathed, “Yes?” No judgment. No expectation. If Buck said no, he knew that Tommy wouldn’t get mad and they could find their release in some other way.

But Buck didn’t want to say no. He also couldn’t find his words right then, body rigid and tongue tied as he tried to process the feeling of Tommy playing with him there, so he nodded once. Oh the smile Tommy gave him; small, reassuring, and so full of love that Buck could positively burst with happiness.

Tommy’s ministrations paused as he stretched over Buck, the long toned length of his body bridging across him, as he reached into the nightstand. From inside the drawer Tommy retrieved a bottle of lube and a number of condoms. It wasn’t likely that they’d use more than one, maybe two, but better safe than sorry. Once they got going, Buck didn’t know that he’d be able to stop for anything. Not even safe sex.

Returning to his spot between Buck’s bent knees, Tommy grabbed a nearby pillow and instructed Buck, “Here, put this under your hips.” His tone was gentle, eyes crinkled in the corner with his smile. Tanned skin glistened under the light streaming in from the window making Tommy look like he was glowing. Looking like a God damn angel.

Buck’s heart fluttered wildly as he slid the pillow beneath him, situating it until he was comfortable while Tommy opened the lube and doused his fingers in the slick. Buck watched Tommy’s chest expand when he took a deep breath, clearly needing to calm himself, before he brought those fingers down to Buck’s waiting entrance. “Ready?” Tommy asked, using his clean hand to rub soothingly up and down Buck’s calf which was tense. Like all of him.

Buck nodded, voice still strangled.

“C’mon baby. Use your voice. I need to hear it.” Tommy’s tone was pleading, and the muscle in his jaw ticked with the strain of holding back. God, how could a man be so beautiful and kind? It was just unfair that someone could be so much of both.

Buck reached and stroked that ticking spot with his thumb, swallowing hard so he could speak around the lump in his throat and said, words breathless, “Yeah, Tommy. I’m ready.” They stared into each other's eyes for a long time, Tommy searching for any indication that Buck was lying. Eventually not finding anything to the contrary, Tommy dropped his gaze lower and Buck felt the first press of fingers.

Tommy eased one inside, oh so slowly, drawing it out and circling the rim before pushing back in. Buck made a face at the sensation. He could feel the way his body pushed back at the intrusion, uncomfortable with things going in when things usually only came out. But Tommy kept working him open methodically, pressing deeper until his finger was lost up to his knuckles.

Buck squirmed slightly. It wasn’t painful, not at all, but the discomfort… Tommy met his eyes once again. “Alright?” He didn’t pause in his movements, only slowing some. “We can stop.”

“N-no.” Buck replied, wiggling again. It didn’t happen fast but his body was growing used to the sensation. “Just feels kinda… weird.”

Tommy chuckled and Buck felt the press of a second fingertip. He sucked in sharply. “Can I?” Tommy checked, only pressing in a little bit. “Or are you not ready for more yet?”

“No.” Buck said emphatically. “I’m ready just… Go slow, alright?”

“For you? Anything.” Tommy leaned down and pressed his lips softly to Buck’s lips, and then to his forehead, making Buck’s cheek flush. Somehow those forehead kisses always felt more intimate than just about anything else they did.

Then the second finger was in and Tommy finger fucked him with precise, deliberate movements. He scissored his fingers back and forth as he thrust in and out, stretching the taut muscles. Every so often he’d pause to add more lube, never letting it get dry. After an eternity, Buck was melting into the feeling. It still felt strange, but it was no longer uncomfortable.

Buck’s erection had flagged some so Tommy took him back in hand and stroked to the rhythm of his finger thrusts until Buck was moaning, back arching off the bed. Tommy had worked him close to the edge, only drawing back when Buck was worse than a leaking faucet. Finally, Tommy removed his fingers and reached for the condoms. Expertly he tore it open before rolling it down his length, letting the empty silver package float to the bed. Then it was time.

Tommy opened the lube and once again coated his fingers in it before stroking himself a few times, making sure that every square inch was wet. “Open your legs a bit more for me.” Tommy breathed, nestling between Buck’s spread thighs after he did as he was told.

Buck’s entire body tensed and he couldn’t take his eyes off Tommy’s lower half. Blue eyes watched with intense focus as Tommy guided himself to Buck’s hole and then Buck felt the blunt tip nudging at him, asking permission for entrance. “Breathe, baby.” Tommy instructed, eyes laser focused on what he was doing, even while he rubbed soothing circles on Buck’s knee.

Buck took a deep breath and forced himself to relax. A moment later he felt Tommy’s cockhead push through that tight ring of muscle and he gasped, immediately tensing up again. Tommy stopped, and waited. Waited for Buck’s breathing to settle. Waited for Buck to nod. Waited like the saint he was to push further in.

Inch by inch Tommy penetrated him, breaking Buck open like a melon. Buck squirmed, and whimpered, eyes squeezing shut as he kept reminding himself to breathe. Tommy didn’t once reprimand him. He never rolled his eyes or got huffy with Buck. Instead, his large hand kept stroking Buck’s heated, sweaty skin and spoke in low, encouraging tones. Every time Buck tensed too much, Tommy would stop and wait until Buck gave him the green light once again.

“I’m all the way in.” Tommy murmured, awe in his words. “Can you feel me, Evan? Feel how deep I am?”

Buck groaned. “You’re so fucking big Tommy. F-fuck.” He wriggled, brain trying to wrap around the feeling of being filled like a burrito. It stung, but it didn’t hurt. Tommy liberally added lube each time he paused and waited, so the glide was relatively easy. But Buck was on the verge of bursting.

“Why thank you.” Tommy replied cheekily, and when Buck opened his eyes his boyfriend was grinning, a tiny dimple appearing in Tommy’s cheek. Buck desperately wanted to swat him but unfortunately, it was impossible at the moment. Tommy’s look turned serious once again after a second though as he asked, “Can I move?” Buck hesitated. He felt like he was going to rip open if Tommy thrust. “I’ll take it slow, I swear.”

Eventually Buck gave his consent, grabbing tightly onto the comforter. Closing his eyes, he took deep breaths through his nose as Tommy gave aborted thrusts, barely moving at all. Within seconds Buck was panting, already adjusting to the feeling. After a few minutes, Tommy was pulling out about half way before thrusting in, rocking the bed.

Tommy adjusted his angle every so often and after one particular adjustment, tingles shot through Buck’s body and his eyes popped open as a moan escaped him. “Found it.” Tommy said, hooking Buck’s knees over his forearms and lifting them, making it easier for him to thrust a certain way.

Both men were panting now and Buck found himself whimpering and whining as Tommy’s dick stroked a certain spot inside of him with every thrust. It had to be his prostate, Buck found himself thinking. Tommy’s face was contorted in concentration as he worked and neither had words to say. Buck couldn’t even think right now, let alone find words.

Tommy picked up speed and his thrusts were shallow as he grinded into Buck, sack hitting his ass with each minute movement and Buck felt his balls tightening. Tightening. Tightening. Each thrust making him harder until it was almost painful versus pleasurable.

As Tommy worked him inside, he reached down and took one of Buck’s nipples between his fingers and played with it, twisting and flicking it, drawing Buck’s attention to it for a split second.The sharp sting of Tommy’s pulling wasn’t enough for Buck to lose focus on where their bodies joined.

Buck didn’t know how long it lasted. All he knew was that one minute he was panting, whimpering, writhing as Tommy drove into him again, and again, and the next he was throwing his head back into the pillows gritting his teeth and veins standing out on his throat because the muscles were so taut because he was coming harder than he’d ever come in his life. The world whited out for a brief moment and when his vision returned, he felt light headed.

When Tommy came, Buck felt the heat inside of his body, trapped obviously by the condom, but that feeling alone made his dick twitch, clearly wanting to hop right into round two.

Without pulling out first, Tommy blanketed Buck’s body and kissed him silly, peppering kisses to his stubbled jaw and neck, rasping about how beautiful and amazing and wonderful Buck was. Buck wrapped his arms around Tommy’s neck and pulled him into his chest and just held him there, basking in the love.

They stayed that way for a few minutes, Tommy plastering kisses every few seconds until he eventually pulled away so he could pull out. Buck hissed when he was free, his hole feeling sensitive and a bit raw. Tommy gave him an apologetic look as he pulled the condom off and tied it before throwing it into the trash, along with the wrapper.

Satisfied, Tommy crawled up the bed next to Buck, turned him onto his side, and eased into the big spoon position, resting one arm across Buck’s stomach. Fingers played with the baby fine hairs there and a large nose nestled at the base of his neck, breathing him in. “Are you okay?” Tommy asked, sounding concerned. “I didn’t hurt you did I?”

Buck shrugged as he nestled a little further back into Tommy’s body, ignoring the half hard penis bumping his back and said, “A little sore, but I’m fine. I promise.”

“You’re sure?”

Buck craned his neck around for a peck which Tommy easily obliged. “I won’t be going for round two any time soon but yeah. I’m fine. That was… amazing.”

“Amazing huh?”

“Yeah. Do you have a magic dick or something? Because I’m not sure that it would feel so good with anyone else.” Buck laid his head back down on the pillow, shutting his eyes.

Tommy snorted and buried his face once more. “Magic my ass.”

A lascivious grin crossed Buck’s features as he said, “Oh, I’m sure your ass is magic. We’re talking about your cock though.” Tommy yanked on his stomach hair and Buck jolted even as he began laughing uncontrollably.