coat

the existence of uncanny valley would suggest there is also a canny mountain

eating a bullet call that kirkish delight

gen z is trying to cancel the mysterious and horrible obelisk im building at the edge of town

gnomes in a tree stump weeping with guilt as they turn their lollipops in the keyholes to arm and launch the intercontinental ballistic thistle

their commanding gnofficer standing behind them with a pine needle saying he won't hesitate to gnexecute them for defying a direct gnorder

official dnd post

no the fuck it isn't. go away

Official Gnomeo and Juliet post

you. keep talking

seething about the fact that i will never experience photosynthesis in my own useless cells. i bet it feels so good when the light of the sun both warms you and fuels you at the same time. a bone-deep satisfaction mixed with a heated sugar-rush and endless brightness. not that i would fucking know

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

can you reblog and tell me which of your ocs has the stupidest name

Lane is called Lane because she was found on the side of the road (roads can also be referred to as lanes) as a baby

this girl must have pussy like a pizza bc Everytime she fucks me I have little seizures

I was mugged by snow white and the seven dwarves the other day. six dwarves now, I suppose. kneed dipshit or dopey or whatever he was called in the eye socket so hard he died before his limp body hit the ground. they all scattered after that. I'll never forget how they wailed his name