ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

it's so funny seeing everyone still posting about the shitty update when they reversed it like forty minutes ago. come out of your basements the tornado has passed it's so sunny up here and bright

[gently, as though talking to a frightened stray] look. only one set of notes

I am home from work and I am pooping on the toilet now

bad post guys

that is the wrong gif

Never kill yourself. come to my dojo instead, where I will kill you

nosferatu? no. tuferatu. no es mi problema.

no mi circo no mis feratus

If someone told me this was semi-formal night at Speed Skating, I would have believed it.

I feel like a horse with no name is probably the best song in the world. Not even my Favorite song just the best

tumblr crashing their own website trying to give us a cute valentine's update is the equivalent of trying to bake a cake for your significant other and accidentally setting your kitchen on fire

as op i have not seen this addition yet THANK YOU

that’s her. the Task Manager

Old dude came in the shop and when I said "lemme know if you have any questions" he goes "what was the name of Alexander the Great's horse," thinking he was so funny. I told him Bucephalus, and he was so disappointed. Like his whole day was hanging on beating me at trivia. He says "you're only the second person who knew that" and I said "well, probably the third if you count Alexander the Great." He left without buying anything, and did not say goodbye. I think I honestly hurt his weird little feelings! Sorry I'm a bitch, old man!

I had one of these once, bookshop customer randomly challenged me to name, quote, ‘the only word in English where two u’s are next to each other’, and when I immediately said ‘vacuum’ he looked disappointed and when I pointed out it isn’t even the only word with two u’s next to each other in English and offered ‘continuum’ as an example he looked like I’d just punched his ribcage out his back like a Mortal Kombat character

People claiming this didn’t happen have never worked a day in retail

In a better world, the askers woulda been delighted at someone else having knowledge.

Happy 12th birthday, Beautiful Cinnamon Roll post

Oh so you'd rather use eugenics on animals and abuse them instead? 🙄

i was about to get violent then i saw the handle im crying

if karl marx was born today he would be a baby. and it would be his birthday

thank you yes, I did need this today