Let Me Sleep

if i’m ever brutally murdered and everyone feels like they need to do something productive in my memory, all i want is for you to pass legislation banning LED headlights in my name. regardless of how irrelevant it is to my murder. it’s relevant to my heart.

It's been 5 years.

my job in the comune will be to fuck your mom

mine is to make love to yours. step your game up.

i just got promoted to giving your father earthshattering prostate orgasms

my father is a libertarian so nice try but he would never be “pro state”

as an aroace, im particularly dangerous, because i wont fuck or marry. i only know how to kill.

My deepest darkest fantasy is that I collapse on the street and I am rushed to the hospital. They perform a bunch of tests and find out I am severely deficient in some kind of vitamin. Then I start taking the vitamin and I become the happiest cleverest person alive because all my problems were caused by this one deficiency

Moreover, everyone gathers around to be tremulously compassionate and discreetly admiring: all this time, you lacked the Vitamin? And yet you persevered?

Kafka was so right fuck this stupid baka life

He didn’t say that.

Hey OP? What the FUCK does this mean?

decay exists as an extant form of life

That’s a terrifying answer, have a nice day

they should remake breaking bad but instead of making and dealing meth it’s a suburban white mom who makes soap and the same levels of violence, gore, and drama remain