bless the telephone

i think what irks me so about shawn mendes isn't just that he looks like the gayest person that's ever lived, it's also that he looks more german than any german person i've ever seen. like i cannot believe he's not german and gay

contemplatively stroking my cock

also i like to go to sleep with a mango under my pillow and those recipes are gonna be on the how to cook that website

making a post at night and going to bed is kinda like as a kid when you put a tooth under your pillow

when i get really angry i smell fire and last night at like 3am i couldn’t sleep cos i was so angry but this time the smell got so strong that i got up and followed it all the way outside and sure enough a warehouse a few blocks away was burning and the fumes where so bad i had to close all the windows and lie down and hope that no one dies