bless the telephone

celine dion thinks she’s robert pattinson

the engagement ring my brother got for his creepy little gf is so fugly it's six diamonds on the end of a string of gold that's wrapped around the finger. it's not a true ring, it's not connected. it looks like very weird sperm. and like… the most basic symbolism of rings is gone. how did he manage that. a ring signifies unity, completeness, it's why in schubert's winterreise one of the poems about a failed relationship features an image of a broken ring. he’s giving his gf a broken ring. an interrupted ring. hey babe. let's subscribe to symbolism using this signifier of marriage. let’s use this one that conveys disconnect

kurz ist der schmerz und ewig ist die freude

ballet is many things but the one thing it’s not is sexy

yesterday at the river thirty year old men made fun of how i swam and then tried to hit on my friends it’s like wow are you guys age regressing or just stupid

i think what irks me so about shawn mendes isn't just that he looks like the gayest person that's ever lived, it's also that he looks more german than any german person i've ever seen. like i cannot believe he's not german and gay