CLIFF

atheist quarterback throws a hail darwin

agnostic quarterback throws a hail maybe

christian pitcher throws an unbaptized baby

you solve the mystery of what to have for dinner one night and you think "hell yeah case closed forever" WRONG there is a dinner mystery the next night too

I mostly post the good things about having a kid but god damn this fucking sucks he won’t stop crying and begging for the fart gun from despicable me because he saw it at the store and now saw it on the movie. I’m going insane but I understand he’s very emotional right now. Still though why are kids so annoying sometimes, he’s not normally like this with random shit he sees at the store.

unfortunately I don’t believe that people are ontologically good or bad, which is real annoying when someone is pissing me off

The “Thunk” will always kill me.

14/10 doing his best

whose dumb ass idiot fuck idea was it to make medicine cost money

Victor Frankenstein after achieving the impossible and building a fucking person from scraps of the dead: Oh god, ew, ew it's ugly! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew! Ew! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew!

being asked what i want for my birthday and suddenly I'm a minimalist who has never had a material want in my whole life