really suffering from (lack of) success

I know not a lot of trans people feel like that but I WAS.

and I think there’s something so important about acknowledging that without becoming sad about the boyhood I never got to have

The strange thing is, I’m not happy with what I’ve experienced

But I am grateful. 

As a “girl” I was perpetually seen as “too much.” I was too “intense,” “dramatic,” “aggressive,” “passionate,” “talkative,” [insert “boy” adjective here]. 

“Your brother must feel overpowered by your energy and strength!”

As a “young woman” I was seen as wrong. In my part of Georgia at least, there wasn’t a place to explore my gender or my sexuality or my place in the world. 

“Women do such a good job in children's ministry, why would they want to be anywhere else?”

As me, as a man, as who God made me to be, I am still “too much.”