Lord forgive me I'm about to ladyBUST

I suppose these favored beasts of the lord are allowed to be horny on main.

this fucking sucks. I got soul-bonded to a living weapon who takes the form of a beautiful girl. But she has no fucking joie de vivre about it. I keep trying to do combined dramatic attack cries but she’s all like. “No that’s embarrassing” and “just kill him, don’t waste time.” she won’t even let me name her finishing move. I think she only has a finishing move because it’s just a reliable path of least resistance. This fucking sucks

reblogging a funny low note count textpost on your dash made by your mutual's mutual kinda feels like walking up to two strangers on the street and laughing loudly at their joke

at planned parenthood and they're playing regular show

"dude if you don't get this abortion benson is gonna fire us"

ladies and slenderman

calling things "cutes" is so uh. what's a good word for when something is cute but slightly more cute

the word cutes is autological

I didn't think that it could get any worse after google decided to show jermasus as the main image result for searching "jerma" but clearly I've been proven wrong because the new image is truly much much worse

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Blue Lois

can i help you

Red Marge

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

World Heritage Post

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me

Blue of Lois

Imagine going on a movie date with a girl and she shows up to the movie theatre with a big huge fuckoff suspiciously large purse so you assume she’s maybe sneaking in snacks but the movie starts and you look over and she’s in the middle of a knitting project. She gets up halfway through the film to use the bathroom and accidentally knocks over her bag and balls of yarn go rolling down the aisle in the empty movie theatre like tumbleweeds and you have to go running after them. I think I’d marry her.

m,y tuube:)

you have to forgive the printer because it's one of the most machine-ass machines we interact with on a day to day basis. that thing says kerchunk. hardly anything says kerchunk these days. you can't get mad at her when she kerchunks up a little.

Crazy that tech has gotten so bad that we're doing printer forgiveness now