i'm not witty

Okay, but how long exactly was Peter willing to let their “fake” relationship go on? Like “Hey, Covey, you know what would REALLY piss Gen off? If we got MARRIED.”

Date a boy who’s voice makes you fall in love all over again

@ollive-oil

The fact that we can accidentally bite the insides of our cheeks has to be the biggest design flaw of the human body.

NO SORRY IT’S THE FACT THAT OUR TRACHEA AND ESOPHAGUS CROSS AND BRIEFLY OCCUPY THE SAME HOLE DOLPHINS DON’T HAVE THIS PROBLEM.

“In conclusion, the humans were extremely angry until they saw the horse, and then thought ‘Well, that bastard’s got it rough, this ain’t so bad’“

That last bit sounds straight out of a Douglas Adams novel

October! is the month! we’re exorcising our personal demons! recharging our restless spirits! laying ghosts of the past to rest! and burning a shit ton of candles!

tumblr friendships are hard to maintain like im sorry i know i havent talked to you in 5 months but you’re still super rad and i still consider us friends im just dumb

#if you’re wondering if this is for you #it’s probably for you

If I have ever messaged you or messaged me and never heard from me again, I still consider us friends. I just suck

Am I wet? Am I on my period? Did I pee my pants?- next on wtf is going on down there.

I’m so glad this is a universal wondering among vagina-owners, haha.

‘Vagina-owners’

Tune in next time for: Are these menstrual cramps? Am I pregnant? Is it just gas? I wouldn’t have to ask these questions if I didn’t have a damn uterus

Next week: Is it a bladder infection? An ovarian cyst? Do I have endometriosis? Oh God please do not let it be cervical cancer! A 20/20 special

Y'all are forgetting the all-time classic: Is it just my period or is my appendix about to burst? Some nice tea and a heatpack or 911 and emergency surgery?

reblog for the safety of vaginas and their owners

The appendix test works with or without a vagina so reblogging for everyone.