'lol,' said the scorpion, 'lmao.'

I don't wanna compete with anyone. I hope we all make it.

FUCKING ÖTZI THE ICE MAN FOR ICE 🧊🥶

I will always care more about the supportive cishet boyfriend at pride than i will about the wannabe cop queer person interrogating every “straight looking” couple to make sure they’re “queer enough” to be there btw. Don’t worry about your cishet boyfriend, he’s sitting with me eating an ice cream wearing a homemade little pride bracelet around his arm and he is the happiest he’s ever been in his life :]

If you don’t let go of your prejudices and past grudges, your heart won’t blossom. 2013 is coming, let’s make a change. We only have one planet so let’s show each other some kindness.

knowing how it tends to go with male authors and their wives it was probably marge who wrote the odyssey

how is tin's melting point only 230°C / 450°F. that's the temperature I roast brussels sprouts.

it’s 2014 can taylor swift stop

makes me so sad when my friends refuse to pirate things and insist on paying for a streaming service EVEN when i offer to do it for them or teach them. like pleaseeee i have a vpn i have a plex server i can get you whatever you want. don't buy disney+ i can be your little poob i have it for you.

dont talk to me or my clone or my shadow self or my reflection or my me ever again

stop calling it a girl dinner and call it by its formal name: Fend For Yourself dinner in an ingredients household

something I really enjoy is that I've now seen like 4 or 5 variations of roughly this same video, all slightly different in their angles and timing while obviously being the exact same bunny and room, implying that this is a consistent and frequent behavior for this bunny instead of just a funny thing it did once that got caught on camera. I wish I could have as much raw unfiltered enthusiasm for anything as this little rabbit has for its dinnertime

At the local hamburger shop and they said yelled out “order 167!” And three middle school age kids yelled in perfect unison “ 6 7!” Life is sometimes so beautiful

If you reference 67 you deserve to be executed on the spot tbh

If I was king for a day the first thing I would do would be to sentence you to a life full of love and understanding.