bisexual mess

the problem is i really do love staying up until one billion o'clock. it just cant be helped

great! now do the same medical study with women

love when cats hear that you've woken up even just a little bit and they're like hiiiiiii oh my god oh my god!!!!! i wrote some poems in the night let me recite them for you. this one is called: screaming and knocking your water bottle off your nightstand

The good feeling when a little cat rests their head against you like you’re a pillow is actually pretty significant

you're just mad because you're hungry and tired and your legs hurt and you head hurts and you're too hot and you have depression

i love that none of the leverage team have misplaced confidence like they all really are THAT good. hardison hacked into the bank of iceland as a teenager. parker can crack almost any type of safe in seconds. sophie is a famous art thief and has played such long cons that she became a duchess. eliot is an internationally renowned hitman and retrieval specialist FOR A REASON. nate literally gave a guy a nosebleed with the power of his mind. no wonder the five of them are the only people who could possibly figure out how to beat a steranko twice

#he wouldn't fucking say that but i'm getting kind of attached to the guy you invented who did say that

babygirl i sit hunched in ways you’d never fuckin believe

You ever notice how a washing machine 10 minutes is actually about 17 minutes human time

shawn spencer is a great character bc he's representation for people who are just constantly low-level lying all the time and mostly even not for any good reason

#like everybody sort of knows/suspects that he's making it up but they just don't call him on it??? they're just like #yeah that's a weird hyperobservant chronically unemployed dude who just hangs out here. he thinks we think he's clairvoyant #we've got an officewide bet over when he'll crack if ever #and that's his buddy. he doesn't have a gimmick he's actually kind of a normal guy except that when you put them together he's an idiot #you can't separate them they'll cry (via op)