daydream

This love feels deeper I fell harder The addction is real I would do anything for you Do it all for you I am trying to get control over this love But I`m loosing grip

I can`t think of anything else Just you You, everythere I would do anything for you Do it all for you

you’re lying beside me,  whispering in my ears. your breath is tickling and your words are hitting me deep inside me. 

I will be by your side, as long as you need me. I will be by your side as long as you let me. I will be there for you in hard times in good times in every time cause I love you. so don’t be sad and don’t be afraid of what is coming I am here for you.

Once in my lifetime I do not want the known.

Once in my life time I cannot choose.

My whole life I do the same, I follow the path, that leads me to my aim. But is it really mine? Did I choose it? Or did other choose for me? 

Once in my lifetime I am the master of my sea.

Once in my lifetime I want to decide.

Once in my lifetime I cannot choose.

By the seaside I could see so far I could leave you all I just have to start

But there was you  There was you There was me And more hope to seek

How can I stay close?  How can I stay there? There where my fears surrounding me. 

I´m sure you will be fine. You will be fine. You will be fine.

I´m coming home. I`m feeling the loneliness creeping in my chest. Spreading into my whole body. I can´t feel anything else.

Please do not hate me, Do you feel the same? Please do not hate me Do you fear the same? I`m feeling trapped. How can I stay close? Everything comes back at me. 5 ghosts in the same room, watching me intensely. Trying to ease my mind. Thinking of you. My heart beats faster and faster and faster How can I stay close? By your side

Die Straßenlaternen projezieren Muster an meine Wände, verändert durch vorbeifahrende Autos. Auf dem Rücken liegend beobachte ich das Farbenspiel. Unter deinem Gewicht beugt sich die Matraze, ich spüre es wie eine Welle die mich durchflutet. Ähnlich zu den Worten die eben durch den Raum schwangen, nur um über meinen Gehörgang Zugang zu meinem Herzen zu finden, sich wie eine Eisenkette darum zu winden und mein Inneres zu beschweren. Ich fühle mich nicht mehr wie ich selbst, möchte die Ketten loswerden die mich vom Atmen abhalten, doch sie scheinen festgeschweißt zu sein. Tränen steigen in meine Augen, durch den Schmerz in meinem Hals, in meinem Herzen und der Worte die du nicht für dich behalten konntest. Du sitzt da, schweigend und die Welt steht Kopf, denn nun habe ich ein schlechtes Gewissen, habe das Bedürfnis mich zu entschuldigen, nur damit du wieder mit mir redest, damit das Gefühl in meinem Inneren mich loslässt und ich endlich wieder atmen kann. Und so versuche ich Worte zu formen, doch mein Hals ist trocken, ich huste, mein Körper sträubt sich, doch schließlich zwinge ich mich zu einem zittrigen “Es tut mir leid.”. 

Egal was du sagen wirst, egal was du davor gemacht hast, mein schlechtes Gewissen, hervorgerufen durch dein Schweigen, und mein Zwang Konflikte zu verhindern, wird immer dazu führen, dass ich mich entschuldige. 

Just wake up!

You don´t need guns to protect someone, if there are no guns!!

You don´t need to arm teachers, if students haven´t access to guns in the first place!

Es gibt zu viel vor dem ich Angst habe, wovor ich mich fürchte, die Höhe, das Fallen, Anschläge, Dummheit...

Making me fallin’ in love with you!

I didn’t like you at the beginning, you were just too... too serious and like a real adult. Come on, we’re just twenty something, we have to be goofy and kinda laugh the whole time we are together. And then you just stopped being that earnest and that was the moment I couldn’t not like you. Why you had to get comfortable with me? Why you couldn’t stay that adult that was kinda good looking and liked me? That would have been perfect, but no! You have to be that perfect guy with your beautiful smile, that cooking skills, and the damn hot looking beard.