The Flying Purple People Programmer

Background:

So my partner was working on training some family dogs a while ago and discovered in some official shock collar training tutorials that they are not intended to hurt the animal by default. Which to many may seem obvious but is also a bit of a shock to others, because of TV fiction.

Like a clicker, the collar delivers a sensory stimuli for the subject. From there, whatever sequence of conditioned responses tied to that stimuli kick in. Super simple and easy. The shock can increase in power because of reasons like, the dog can't feel it through the fur or gets super riled up and needs something stronger to remind them to stay inside a fence.

Related though seemingly tangential, you're not supposed to just repeat or get louder with commands. Because, if they didn't execute the command properly or at all then chances are: they don't care, they haven't learned it enough, or they are slow to processing it (in which case, give them a minute, prompt them again, etc)

Apply this same logic to shock collars. Turning up the juice doesn't do anything other than make it more unpleasant.

"But Bast, isn't the whole point to deter them from xyz using the shock collar?" Simple answer, "Not like that."

I remember hearing stories of dogs who had shock collars connected to a proximity fence repeatedly getting close enough to trigger the shock until the battery died and then running wild. The dog understood "approaching this area is pain" but not that their owner wanted them to stay inside the area. You have to teach them to return to the designated area in tandem with the collar to condition them. So that when the feel the shock, they return as if you had called them. And the shock doesn't have to be painful, just noticeable.

The idea:

Because the shock does not have to be painful and is in fact graded in intensity, in the same way you can condition a clicker response with one *click* versus two *click click*, you can condition varying responses with one *shock*, two, a stronger one, etc.

This reminded me of those remote vibrators. You can use them the exact same way. You can make differentiable buzzes, patterns, or intensities to get a desired response.

You can have someone wear a shock collar and a vibe. Because a person can understand human speech, you can make training exercises long distance or discrete in public by giving them an earbud to condition your command or desired reaction to the buzz or shock.

Jumping off this basic concept, cults. or drone or good old pet play. You can suit a person out with a variety of devices and train in more complex conditioned responses. I am not a regular fantasy writer, but I have mutuals who are 👀👀👀

Additionally, you could have a lot of fun breaking someone down using this. For those interested in being the trainee, imagine you agree to this on a casual level. You like the vibe and have done it, its embarrassing its hot its erotic etc. You now agree to try the shock collar for fun. Maybe you love the pain or maybe its the roleplay of it all. Maybe, your handler has conditioned specific actions. You don't wear it outside your home for agreed upon reasons, it is too bulky to be covert. Your handler's first test conditioning is simple, with one distinct shock, you go to their side from wherever you are standing. It started with just being in the same room or visible to them but one day you're in the kitchen while your handler is in the bathroom and you feel a shock. Turns out they ran out of toilet paper which is mundane but you might realize that your body turned and your feet moved before you consciously processed what just happened. Months have gone by and more experimenting, reinforcing, mundane and erotic scenes have been played out and you are totally comfortable wearing the collar around the house. You feel the single shock and enter the room where your partner was seated smiling. You smile back and get a *click* as a treat making you feel even better. They have you strip and present, put the vibrator inside and a low buzz warms you up even more and leads you into a half lidded, docile headspace. Your handler's words are clear but they wash over you now, you nod to show you understand, but honestly you have forgotten what true intellectual understanding means past basic pattern recognition.

So when the vibrator starts buzzing more, in waves cresting deep inside of you. They are washing away everything outside of what your handler wants from you. You don't need to be concerned about the whole wide world, your handler is your world. You don't want to be distracted and miss something they say. You don't need to be anything but docile for them. So it all washes away. It moves into rolling hills, like your walks and drives together, long and pleasant with slow inclines and slopes back down give you a rush of need and desire. Your handler gives you a command, you execute it perfectly, and the rewarding clicks melt you deeper into the perfect pet. Now it builds up to sheer cliffs before dropping back down to the waves below. But you can't go over the edge, you have been conditioned not to. You tried, once or twice, but the drop is just so high and you need the authoritative push from them.

Your handler's voice calls your attention back to him. Something about getting him something from a room across the house. You get up to obey but as you near the door you feel a single shock and you find yourself standing in front of your handler, empty handed, confused.

You go again, and return without taking one step outside the room. Your head is far too fuzzy to comprehend whats happening. You look at him but he is only holding the clicker and not the shock remote, which is on the table next to him. You look at the remote, the door, his hands, and the door again. Why would he tell you to go get something and call you back before hand?

Maybe you would be too far gone, maybe it would dawn on you, maybe your handler spells in out for you in articulate words you don't understand. You are trapped in there, stuck, until he removes the proximity fence.

This could be set up near every exit of the house so you would never leave. He can change the height so you never walk on two legs again while you're inside. There are hundreds of possibilities.

May I have your attention

it’s the middle of the night and you’re sleepy and confused and he’s sitting on top of your hips, your sleep shirt is pushed all the way up to your chin and there’s something warm and slick spattering your chest and your tummy.

when you panic and start to twist under him, trying to dislodge him and breathe at the same time, he wraps his hands around your waist and hushes you.

“shhhhh, baby, i know. i know, it’s late and i scared you but it’s just me, you’re okay.”

it takes a minute for you to settle, but he’s patient, cooing at you and kissing at your forehead to soothe your hazy, sleep-addled confusion. he’s heavy and solid and warm and your nipples are peaked and you’re still on display and you’re thankful for the dim of the night to keep your overheated cheeks in a bit of shadow. something strange and unfamiliar is twisting low and hot in the pit of your stomach and you’re sure it will go away as soon as he’s no longer sitting on your body.

“don’t you remember what i told you?” he asks, pulling back just enough to meet your eyes despite the dark.

“about what?” your voice is hoarse and sticks in your dry throat as you answer him, raspy from sleep.

“about this,” he says, gesturing to the splatters of slickness dotting your tits, your collarbone, your tummy. “about orgasms.”

you blink at him, rooting through your fuzzy memories to figure out exactly what he told you. it comes to you slowly and it feels too weird to say out loud so you just nod instead.

it doesn’t work on him. it never works on him.

“go ahead, honey, tell me what i taught you.”

it takes a shaky breath before you can even speak, the words coming slow and uncertain.

“you can only have an orgasm with someone you’re in love with,” you say, giving him a shy, awkward little smile when his eyes light up with something that might be pride, though it looks a little darker right now.

“that’s right! you’re such a smart girl, sweetheart, i knew you’d remember. now tell me, have you ever had one before?”

that feels like far too personal of a question, but the answer is boring, of course. not for lack of trying, since you’ve tried a bunch of times, just because you wanted to know what it felt like. but it never worked, you never really felt any different, it just made you feel too warm, a little like now, but less tingly. less…good. and then you’d give up, frustrated and sweaty, feeling like something was supposed to happen but just never did. he was right again, it seemed, and that always annoyed you more.

“of course not,” you answer honestly. “i’ve never been in love.”

”oh, i don’t believe that, honey,” he says, finally shifting his body to move so that he’s no longer sitting astride your hips. no, now he’s scooting down the bed to end up with his hands on your thighs and his head right there between them and in all that time he was sitting on you, you couldn’t even tell that you weren’t wearing anything under your big tshirt anymore.

no, the panties you’d had on to sleep in are certainly missing, and that realization causes you to jump and try to close your legs immediately, but his palms are flat on your thighs, keeping them open for him.

he clicks his tongue at you, a sharp, disapproving sound that hits you somewhere in the chest, feeling deeply filthy and somehow electrifying at once.

“no, sweetheart, stay like this and let me look at you.” he makes a soft, satisfied sound under his breath. “i definitely don’t believe you, baby. you’re already slick and soft and wet for me, did you know that? no? well you are, which means you don’t have to worry. i have a way to find out if you’re in love with me too.”

it’s the last thing he says before he dips his head and gives you a long, slow lick, igniting a sensation that you’ve never felt before. it makes you jump, so surprised by the way your body feels under his hot mouth.

Partner said "this is you"

What a red flag actually means: something here is an indicator of a potential problem (but might be fine with a reasonable explanation)

What people have now decided it means: abuse

I've lost count of the number of times I've now had to read variants of "My partner takes all my money and gives me back an allowance because he says it's a man's job to control finances, but he's racking up gambling debts" being met with "Wow this man is a walking red flag" no Becky that is abuse. That is not an indicator. He is an abuser. Call the police. We have lost the concept of a proxy: a thing that indicates a more important thing. And it's relevant to this conversation because I'm actually going to go out on a limb here:

With the obvious exception of paedophilia, age gaps themselves aren't a problem at all - they are a proxy for the actual harmful phenomenon. Hea me out, let me explain

The reason we don't like age gaps is because of the implied power dynamic. If one partner, usually male, is older than other - particularly if the other is still quite young - the risk is that what we're seeing is a worldly wise predator who is exploiting the lack of life experience of a young beautiful woman by mentally abusing her until she's no longer young and pretty enough to satisfy, at which point he'll move on to the next. There have been enough examples of this in human history. It's unfortunately not an uncommon pattern. Genders can also be diverse in this scenario

We can't necessarily see that dynamic from the outside. But we CAN see an inherent element of it: the ages of the people involved. So age becomes a proxy for the abuse. And, hey, it's often correct.

But here's the thing: the ages themselves are not causing harm.

The power dynamic is. The abuse is.

Plenty of age gap relationships are loving, healthy and steadfast. Two people met and genuinely fell in love regardless of the outer packaging, and have a relationship with all the highs and lows and challenges and rewards as any more traditional pairing. This happens all the time

Is the age gap a red flag? Sure! It indicates a potential issue.

Is it inherently abusive? Absolutely fucking not.

OP is right - we need to stop focusing just on the numbers and twisting the facts to fit by infantilising the younger partners, and start focusing on the actual harms. The DiCaprio Pattern of only dating under 24s repeatedly is itself a proxy, too, actually - but a much stronger one than the simple presence of an age gap.

(Even so, in DiCaprio's case, until any of his former partners come forward and describe him as abusive, actually, even that is up in the air - my personal interpretation, given how strong a pattern it is, is that he's a loser who views women as trophies (consciously or not). If any have come forward and I don't know about it, of course, fair enough. But those women were adults capable of making their own decisions, even if they might later come to regret it. And regretting poor decisions is part of life! That's how it goes, particularly with relationships. As long as they weren't abused, there's no biggie. And just as he was looking for young-and-beautiful, there's no way they weren't, on some level, looking for rich-and-famous; it goes both ways.)

Also, another element of this: I think a lot of modern extreme puritan discourse on this is actually ironically down to the age of those taking part. Up until your late 20s, ten years is actually a huge span of time to you, because in your own life you were in a completely different developmental phase ten years ago (teenager), and a completely different phase again ten years before that (child). That skews your sense of what a ten-year gap means. Whereas once you're in your 30s and beyond, ten years is like. Yeah I was an adult ten years ago, and I still am now. That's two adults. Who cares.