some kind of failgender shamebot

Thanks for the compliment!  And as for your comment re: Jyn working with Draven….I always sort of hate how Draven somehow became this heartless, hateful monster in a large portion of fanon, maybe because I personally don’t think he behaved all that evil. YES, his subversion of the chain of command (his secondary order to Cassian to kill Galen Erso) was absolutely 100% wrong, but he was not malicious, cruel, or incompetent, which seems to make up a large portion of his character in many fic. There are a lot of otherwise well-written fic that I just cannot read because they turned Draven into someone petty, vicious and worse, strategically clueless. (I’m sorry, both Cassian Andor and Jyn Erso are assets that a commander in his position cannot afford to mistreat/throw away, not only because they are so valuable as allies in a struggling paramilitary underdog movement, but also because they would be so very fucking dangerous as enemies, and there are exactly zero living intelligence commanders that would not recognize that fact). 

Also, I personally think there are a lot of parallels between Draven and Cassian, just two men who hate what they do but believe in the necessity of it.  

[Putting the rest under a cut because this turned into a long “In defense of Davits Draven” thing with some introspection on Jyn and Cassian relating to him]

“Fuck #Ice shoutout to my Mexicans , pass this shit”

( this article also talks a bit about rights https://www.learnliberty.org/blog/t-he-constitutional-rights-of-noncitizens/ )

https://www.ilrc.org/red-cards

i am not fish.

i mite be sick

so im in dish.

the doctor touch

it give me shock.

i do not trust

and then later when he SNEAKS INTO A CORNER TO FUCKING… facetime yoda… like “ok so we have these millions of identical human men who were apparently suspiciously ordered for us by someone???” and yodas fucking response is just “when countless sapient lemons life gives you…….. send those lemons into intergalactic battle you must”

Undercover at a coffee shop? COFFEE SHOP AU. Parker, please let me make you a coffee so we can have our very own meet-cute. 

They have to get out of town fast and end up at a shitty little motel. Eliot opens the door and growls. Parker shrugs. Hardison stands on the treshhold, fist to his mouth, and gleefully whispers: there’s only one bed.

Fake dating? He is here for it. Fake married? HELL YEAH BABY they will be so married nobody will doubt their marriedness. 

Parker doesn’t understand why he’s so excited about the tattoo shop next door to their clients, a flower-shop being harrassed by a big property developer who wants their building. “Do you want a tattoo?” she asks. No, babe, it’s just this fandom thing… “Oh it’s one of your make-believe about make-believe things.” Um… yeah.

Stuck in a snowstorm? Not as great or as sexy as fandom made it out to be.

Hardison meaningfully saying: and they were roommates and being annoyed that nobody answers.

He’s still waiting for the ‘undercover as a stripper’ episode. He’s ready. For whoever it is. He has outfits. He has nipple tassles. He has the whole Magic Mike choreography down just in case it’s him, okay?

That time Parker steals an entire busload of orphans through the power of Haagen-Das and he’s like: this is not how Accidental Baby Acquisition Fics usually go but okay, that’s cool.

Hardison saying Eliot shouldn’t try and seduce someone to get information out of them, because ‘Sam will kill him if he tries anything’ and everyone being like WHO THE HELL IS SAM.

Dancing Goddesses

These are AWESOME.

*falls over laughing*

Earlier I got a request for lesbian and asexual edits of this post. I changed the background color to gray in order to accommodate flags with black stripes.

plus George RR Martin just copied wars of the roses

and Rothfuss made a legit plot point that Kvothe fucked a fairy for months

I’m not saying that I don’t enjoy these books, because I do, but I am just saying that I read fantasy books 10x better by women all the time. 

meanwhile, there are so many female fantasy authors who produce brilliant work, but because it is marketed towards women, it’s either YA or it’s paranormal romance (BOTH OF WHICH I STAN OK) and therefore doesn’t get considered “serious” fantasy even though they have better world building, magic, and writing style than most “masters of the genre.”

like, why is it that fantasy books written about women and by women are ONLY READ BY WOMEN AND MARKETED TO WOMEN, meanwhile fantasy books written by men about men are READ BY EVERYONE AND MARKETED AS THE NORM. 

like male fantasy nerds are just sleeping on Ilona Andrews because they write about women and add a romance plot line, meanwhile Kate Daniels is one of the best damn fantasy series I have ever read with some of the best world building and plotting e v e r. 

And I’m not implying that authors have to produce 3 books a year to be serious authors, but it’s a bit ridiculous that the fantasy genre and pub industry keeps pushing asoiaf and kingkiller chronicles at us when we don’t even have a date for the sequel. WHY DON’T YOU PROMOTE BOOKS BY WOMEN WHO KNOW HOW TO WRITE GOOD FEMALE CHARACTERS?? WHY NOT PROMOTE FANTASY BOOKS BY AUTHORS OF COLOR??