the source of my procrastination

So I have a question for my followers: are there any conspiracy theories you’re 100% convinced are real

Canadian prime minister Justing Trudeau is the illegitimate son of the late Cuban dictator Fidel Castro

See, the nipples angle is just not something I would’ve thought to pursue

1000$ says his brother, who actually looks like his father Pierre, has pink nipples.

Do we have a picture of Fidel’s nipples? My searches have yielded fakes and forgeries.

Reblogging just for the nips

these shitty "literature hot takes" on twitter are giving me a fucking aneurysm. "nobody should read books older than 100 years old" is easily the most idiotic knee-jerk reaction I've ever heard of but everyone is eating it up because nobody wants to be intellectually challenged by anything more difficult than harry potter

literary education is piss poor at the K-12 level, and I don’t think it’s helpful or productive when this education begins and ends with “xyz is a canonical work and therefore it is a masterpiece that you must enjoy” but there’s a fucking reason this shit is taught—because its influence on literature and culture is enduring! there does need to be more contextual education on the historical and cultural significance of certain works, which isn’t a value judgement that these words are “good,” only that they’re influential. but also acting like anything old must be worthless is complete brain rot considering how much pop culture even today draws upon literary tropes and traditions, fairy tales, folklore, all of that stuff. are you really going to tell me that shakespeare is washed-up and useless to the modern reader and then go watch the fucking lion king remake without a hint of irony 

why are there so many posts about asexuals being immune to sirens. people. sirens don’t lure you in with sex (necessarily). they sing about whatever it is that you want most. they could sing about mothman or cinnamon toast crunch and guess what then your asexual pirate is fucking dead

this is the only kind of ace discourse i ever want to see on my dash. the only kind. ever again. good job

Do you think the sirens would be grateful that they finally get some variety? 

“Oh my god we can finally just sing about pasta thank the fucking gods.” 

I’m not asexual but I’m fairly certain sirens would do a far better job luring me into the depths with a song about pasta rather than sex…

Them: “We have unlimited wifi at incredible speeds~” Me: *diving headfirst into the water*

This post is a blessing

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Oh my god sirens were literally scam websites

wait a second… does that mean the wax Odysseus’ men sealed their ears with to not be beguiled by the sirens was the first adblock in history?

we’re either gonna be the generation that revolts & saves the planet OR the elder gen of a post-apocalyptic society, so like, either way, suit tf up y’all we’re in for a wild ride

hawaiian shirt + dark bags under eyes is a good look… it says yeah i would really love to be carefree and relaxed right now but certain circumstances have made that impossible

Men Speaking Nearby, colorized, c. 2019, artist unknown

being a macroorganism is so stressful. i want to know what my cells are doing. I don’t like how unsupervised they are

my cells govern themselves, I’m mostly just a figurehead

my body is a constitutional monarchy and i am its powerless queen