because i never relent

gun to my head, you show me the cover and tell me to guess the plot, I a) would never have come up with something as painfully non-horny as above and b) no actually i'm still stuck on point a.

Im sorry I didn’t reply to your message for three weeks. I did not forget about it infact I thought about it regularly every day. It will happen again

TSA agents are always like sir you have to take off your belt before you go through the machine. Shoes as well. Yeah and now the pants... slower... mmm yeah like that... now get those balls jiggling...

Watching “The Fellowship of the Ring” for the first time. Yes, really. Gandalf’s tits are smaller than I was led to believe

not everyone can be a tumblrina

we were chosen by god