次郎っちいい

Smash is coming out in a week, or less and all this wait will end soon!

That feeliing when you could nonchalantly wait for months for Smash, but you can’t wait any longer when it’s a week left of anticipating.

lip gloss- good at arguing, sings a lot when alone, likes attention, gets tired easily, provides good hugs, midnight conversations, really supportive & accepting

eyeliner- chill but gets stressed often, likes writing & drawing, makes a lot of small but dumb mistakes, wants to travel around the world, has underrated humor

blush- spends a lot of money, loves empty cafés, talks too much, cute earrings and pink aesthetics, the psychologist friend, confident but insecure at the same time

chapstick- uses emojis ironically, hella social anxiety, says they’re bad at art but they’re probably not, peach soft drinks, the reasonable friend

Then about a week into their journey like

Legolas: *in Elvish, for approximately the 20th time* ugh fucking hobbits, so annoying

Frodo: *also in Elvish, deadpan* yeah we’re the worst

Legolas:

Legolas: ugh fucking hobbits

Merry: Frodo what’d he say

Frodo: I’m not sure he speaks a weird dialect but I think he’s insulting us. I should tell him I can understand Elvish

Merry: I mean you could do that but consider

Merry: you can only tell him ONCE

Legolas: umm well your accent is horrible

Aragorn: *hollering from a distance* HIS ACCENT IS BETTER THAN YOURS LEGOLAS YOU SILVAN HICK

Legolas: y’alld’ve’ff’ve

Frodo: Good morrow to thee, frend. I hope we twain shalle bee moste excellente companions.

Legolas: Wots that mate? ‘Ere, you avin’ a giggle? Fookin’ ‘obbits, I sware.

english would probably have changed less since Chaucer’s time, if a lot of our cultural leaders from the thirteenth century were still alive and running things.

they’ve had like. seven generations since the sun happened, max. frodo’s books are old to him, but outside any very old poetry copied down exactly, the dialect represented in them isn’t likely to be older than the Second Age, wherein Aragorn’s foster-father Elrond started out as a very young adult and grew into himself, and Legolas’ father was born.

so like, three to six thousand years old, maybe, which is probably a drop in the bucket of Elvish history judging by all the ethnic differentiation that had time to develop before Ungoliant came along, even if we can’t really tell because there weren’t years to count, before the Trees were destroyed.

plus a lot of Bilbo’s materials were probably directly from Elrond, whose library dates largely from the Third Age, probably, because he didn’t establish Imladris until after the Last Alliance. and Elrond isn’t the type to intentionally help Bilbo learn the wrong dialect and sound sillier than can be helped, even if everyone was humoring him more than a little.

so depending on how much of a role Thranduil took in his upbringing (and Oropher in his), Legolas may have some weird stilted old-fashioned speaking tics in his Sindarin that reflect a more purely Doriathrin dialect rather than the Doriathrin-influenced Western Sindarin that became the most widely spoken Sindarin long before he was born, or he might have a School Voice from having been taught how to Speak Proper and then lapse into really obscure colloquial Avari dialect when he’s being casual. or both!

considering legolas’ moderately complicated political position, i expect he can code-switch.

…it’s also fairly likely considering the linguistic politics involved that Legolas is reasonably articulate in Sindarin, though with some level of accent, but knows approximately zero Quenya outside of loanwords into Sindarin, and even those he mostly didn’t learn as a kid.

which would be extra hilarious when he and gimli fetch up in Valinor in his little homemade skiff, if the first elves he meets have never been to Middle Earth and they’re just standing there on the beach reduced to miming about what is the short beard person, and who are you, and why.

Pippin, confused: Is he not speaking Elvish?

Frodo, sarcastically: I dunno, are you speaking Hobbit?

Boromir, who has been lowkey pissed-off at the Hobbits’ weird dialect this whole time: That’s what it sounds like to me.

Merry, who actually knows some shit about Hobbit background: We are actually speaking multiple variants of the Shire dialect of Westron, you ignorant fuck.

the jewish people are an ethnicity as well as a religion. judaism is the religion of the jewish people. we are a people indigenous to the levant, exiled 1800 years ago, and forced to resettle in other countries where we were force-assimilated and many of us through those 1800 years lost our ethnic features while still retaining some—our noses, our dark curly hair, etc., which obviously aren’t on every jew but are common in families where the bloodline was kept strong.

it’s really tiring to see people saying “your religion” or “the jewish religion” or “freedom of religion” with reference to us because we are a people and a culture and an ethnicity. we’re far less persecuted for our religion than we are for our cultural dress and our ethnic features. a lot of us don’t even subscribe to the religion part but still celebrate the holidays bc they’re cultural holidays.

so please, like … remember this when you talk about our people or antisemitism. antisemitism is not a religion issue as much as it is an ethnicity issue and a particular brand of racism that has somewhat different rules because we’ve been exiled from israel for so long. like … just keep that in mind when you start discussion about our people pls lol

Here’s Simon reminiscing on his old self during the Captain N days.