Former Baby

your mom is a baked potato your dad's dumb ass is asparagus and you are a god damn green bean

if tumblr shuts down we should all develop car crash fetishes and form an underground community that reenacts famous car crashes for sexual pleasure

Pardon?

I said if tumblr shuts down we should all develop car crash fetishes and form an underground community that reenacts famous car crashes for sexual pleasure

I am home from work and I am pooping on the toilet now

bad post guys

every so often I come across a kink post about like being kidnapped and tortured or held at gunpoint or begging for ones life for sexual purposes and I understand its going for a very haggard frail thing being taken advantage of vibe but in my mental image it really just comes off the same as that picture of wolverine strapped to a nuke

slime monster obama: my jello americans

meowth voice: today I’m takin james to da clinic to get an aboition

Everything happen to me,

cannot stress enough the importance of having a bucket in your house. a big plastic bucket. helps with housework. helps with morale. get yourself a bucket today

I’m so sick of living in this stupid haunted mansion

ㅤ

Will you fuck off?

Lolll *washes up unconscious on the shore* Yaaaaayyy